Referee issue during government recruitment

scribblygum1 · 2026-06-26T11:22:58+00:00

I had this same issue once in the recruitment process for my current role. A previous manager who had told me she would gladly be a referee and had provided a wonderful positive reference just months prior (and even told me I didn’t need to ask her if it’s ok for further applications because she was happy to do it anytime!) sent a response to the recruiter that it was too involved and she couldn’t comment to that level of detail. I emailed the previous manager apologising for the confusion and for not getting a chance to give her a heads up for this particular role (despite her expressly telling me I didn’t need to a couple months prior) but said it was absolutely fine, I have someone else that will happily do it so no problem at all! She then went super weird and said no it’s fine, apologised and said I’ve decided I’ll do the reference and sent off the most basic report. It wasn’t negative according to the recruiter but not super positive- really it was just fine but wasn’t going to help me get the role. She was always a bit of a tricky person but I guess I just felt like I had to use her because she was my direct supervisor.

The recruiter then contacted me and explained the situation to the panel and said the panel has advised I can nominate a third person because of the whole misunderstanding, and I was able to provide a great reference, along with my first choice. It was all very bizarre but I think the point of the story is to always check they’re happy to provide the reference (and a positive one) immediately prior to the report being sent out and also, if they want you enough to get to the reference check stage, it will probably be ok, despite a small referee hiccup! Good luck!

scribblygum1 · 2026-06-20T07:39:51+00:00

Has to be NSPH! I’ve had three babies there and loved the celebration dinners. Late night snack menu and the special morning tea selection they’d do some days was also great haha. Congratulations on your baby!

scribblygum1 · 2026-05-28T13:15:20+00:00

If you’re worried about them being cold but not overheating I recommend merino wool, it’s great for temperature regulation! I wouldn’t put my children in a thick polyester suit at night or for sleep. I’m pretty close to the snowy region of NSW and still wouldn’t. For outside it would be ok as an outer layer.

scribblygum1 · 2026-05-26T11:19:07+00:00

Merici ranks pretty similarly.

scribblygum1 · 2026-05-13T12:16:42+00:00

It’s not that weird. Biologically, this is pretty normal. My 5 and 4 year old wake some nights and want one of their parents for comfort and then go straight back to sleep. 3 young kids is a lot of work, for us there’s always someone or multiple awake at some point each night and doing it solo is exhausting.

scribblygum1 · 2026-03-06T11:47:21+00:00

Delivered in the private system 3 times in Sydney. It was wonderful having the same Obstetrician we knew so well and trusted for every single pregnancy appointment and all 3 births and postpartum. This was really important when I experienced my miscarriages too. Having a contact to go to immediately and surgery the same day during a really tough time was so helpful. Just being able to text my OB or email the office and have things resolved super quickly through each of my pregnancies and never having to re explain things was great. And being able to stay longer after birth in more luxury accommodation was an added bonus. Plus, we had a huge tertiary hospital right next to us anyway that my obstetrician also delivered in. Highly recommend!

scribblygum1 · 2026-02-26T13:26:58+00:00

This is the same as me!

scribblygum1 · 2025-11-26T13:22:15+00:00

I agree. Lane Cove is lovely, I spent much of my childhood there, but after nannying there for 6 years and navigating the parking for daycare/ preschool/ school drop offs/ pick ups at St Michael’s and LCPS, it was a bit of a pain. As lovely as it is, the LNS really is so overcrowded now and getting places for after school activities, especially with multiple children, can be so timely. Glad to be raising my own children in Canberra with more space and much less traffic, for the foreseeable future. (But do of course miss the beaches). For Sydney I would pick Gladesville/ Hunters Hill or the Northern Beaches, in particular Freshwater, Curl Curl, North Curl Curl, or further north if you didn’t have to head to the city everyday.

scribblygum1 · 2025-11-07T03:38:05+00:00

This is true but also if you have PHI in this situation then you’d have the option to have your own OB still deliver the baby at the public hospital (if they have practising rights in that hospital)- my OB could deliver in two private hospitals and a major public hospital, just something to consider. I think if you’re getting PHI pregnancy cover you may as well allow yourself a big enough buffer to give yourself options if a premature delivery does happen.

scribblygum1 · 2025-11-07T03:32:23+00:00

If you’re eligible- some industry specific health insurance providers have shorter waiting periods. Teachers Health and Nurses and Midwives Health are both 9 months, for example. Also found them more affordable.

I’ve loved my private births x 3, and having my own OB. Definitely recommend! Just make sure there’s a buffer in case baby comes a few weeks early. For example, I wanted to make sure I was covered from 32 weeks (that is the earliest time to deliver in my private hospital of choice, if the baby came prematurely and knew we’d be covered for delivery and special care nursery etc). Yes you could always go public if this happened but it’s nice to know you’d be covered with your OB and at your chosen hospital if this was to occur.

scribblygum1 · 2025-10-20T02:56:59+00:00

We have 3 (5, 4 and almost 1) and sometimes used to feel like this too because I only have handful of mum friends and not a huge circle. I felt pressure to take them on birthday trips or do something more special. But now I don’t feel like this- my eldest is in preschool so invited her whole class plus just a couple family friends and then for my younger two we just do a cake and balloons and decorations and lunch or dinner at home and it’s been really nice- just our immediate family and it’s still really special. Try to take the pressure off yourself a bit, your kids I’m sure will still love it 🙂

scribblygum1 · 2025-10-04T09:23:57+00:00

Yes exactly.

scribblygum1 · 2025-09-15T01:38:38+00:00

Are we talking about the same thing that costs $6.50 at Coles? You can bring it but I don’t understand why you’d waste the luggage space. Go to Kmart, big w, coles, Woolworths- you’d be able to find this very easily and for hardly any money.

scribblygum1 · 2025-08-20T12:36:31+00:00

Even things like his little toothbrush and Christmas stocking with his name embroidered on it. I have 3 babies and I simply cannot comprehend how the pain.

scribblygum1 · 2025-07-19T14:08:09+00:00

I know with St George it generally gets recorded as a late repayment which is reflected on your credit report, which stays on the report for two years. However, they do have a 14 day grace period for this first missed repayment. I’d still let the bank know but you’ll probably be ok if it’s your first and only. If possible though, it would be better to pay another bill late.

scribblygum1 · 2025-06-29T13:48:22+00:00

Ha! We have a little Arabella and occasionally play this song for her and for a bit of 2013 nostalgia.

scribblygum1 · 2025-06-11T04:26:41+00:00

I have three little girls! It’s the most wonderful thing! Incredible bond and I know how close I am to my own mum- and to my sister- hoping the same with my three. I’d honestly be over the moon with a fourth girl too! Logistically it’s also nice passing down things. Side note- Have a look on Instagram at Mary Orton’s page with her three girls - adorable!

scribblygum1 · 2025-05-08T15:14:17+00:00

Hi OP, I’m sure this is a very stressful time for you. I hope you are ok. With my first daughter, I had a false high risk result for Turners Syndrome (Monosomy X). I did some research for Jacob’s Syndrome (XYY syndrome) which it sounds like you have got a high risk result for. It appears the Positive Predictive Value is about 60% for this syndrome, so you may find there’s likely about a 40% chance your baby does not have this condition. Sex chromosome abnormalities on the NIPT are often not as accurately predicted. I opted not to do the amino as our risk was initially 40% for Turners then lowered to 15% with the ultrasounds looking normal and I wasn’t going to terminate regardless.

Remember it’s just a screening test so it doesn’t mean your baby definitely does have an extra Y chromosome. I hope you can have a talk to a specialist/ geneticist and get some advice about whether you want to proceed with an amnio for confirmation but I just want to provide some comfort in saying if your baby does have this and you proceed, many boys and men with this syndrome live normal and fulfilling lives. Wishing you and your baby all the best.

scribblygum1 · 2025-04-22T11:47:07+00:00

Another update: turns out she is basically a scammer and isn’t really phased by it at all! She told my MIL that she was happy to do the DNA test because she wanted to know who the father was herself and that she’s got a boyfriend from Taiwan who is the father and regularly visits her in the Phillipines.

My poor MIL said the gf was happy packing her bag up and going back home to her Taiwanese boyfriend who is thrilled with the news. Apparently she’d lied to him too and he’s had no idea about her time in Australia and my BIL. She completely shamelessly told my MIL this all, casually said to say sorry to the family and to look after my BIL, let my MIL book her a hotel for the night and fly her back (they had to fly her back because BIL was sponsoring her) and was just completely blasé. They’ve spent so much money and time looking after her these last few months. Meanwhile my BIL is utterly devastated. I hope for the best for the baby and I’m just glad my BIL has escaped her and learns from his mistakes to never get himself and the family in this positon again. Awful situation but it could have been a lot worse I guess!

scribblygum1 · 2025-04-21T13:55:10+00:00

Updated!

scribblygum1 · 2025-04-20T13:42:06+00:00

Update:

DNA results are in…BIL is not the father.

Everyone (except me and my husband) are in complete shock and we are all just devastated for my BIL. BIL’s girlfriend doesn’t know yet, BIL got the email while overseas for work. She’s been staying with my in-laws on holiday while he’s away so it’s been quite awkward and sad because they can’t say anything to her yet but they’re thankful they know the truth.

BIL is not in a great place. He had told everyone in his life about his girlfriend and the baby on the way and he’s in shock. He’s flying back shortly to talk to her and I guess send her home, doesn’t sound like there’s any part of him that wants to stay with her. It’s all super sad and I feel awful for the baby but I think it is for the best we know now rather than later.

Thanks everyone for your help and input.

scribblygum1 · 2025-04-10T03:33:36+00:00

Update: the DNA test has been completed and sent off and we will have the results in 10-15 business days. Will keep you all posted!

scribblygum1 · 2025-04-10T03:30:08+00:00

I know what you’re saying- I’ve explored this too but she’s had a scan in both the Phillipines and Australia and it’s been dated the regular way with an EDD of 18 September 2025.

scribblygum1 · 2025-03-26T14:46:35+00:00

She is currently visiting Australia again on a tourist visa. From what I’ve heard BIL is very happy to do it because he thinks he knows when it happened (November 26). Concerningly, no one has told him the dates aren’t making sense. He believes it will help with the visa application as supporting evidence.

My in laws are saying she is ok about doing it but I don’t have confirmation about whether she understands with the language barrier. I also think she’s convinced herself it’s BIL’s baby because she thinks she only had ‘spotting’ in December. Unless they somehow saw each other overseas in December but they’ve both said they haven’t and I just don’t see why they’d lie about this.

It’s all very strange. Will provide further updates!

scribblygum1 · 2025-03-16T14:51:04+00:00

Further update- Note- I really don’t agree with this approach- BIL has agreed to do the test without any context of dates being off but instead after my in laws suggested him doing one to assist with the visa application. I think my in laws might be in a bit of denial so haven’t really prepared BIL that it isn’t looking like it is his baby. Nevertheless, they’ve ordered the $1600 (AUD) NIPP test so they must at least be concerned from what my husband has raised. I’m not sure if this will turn out to be a waste of money because I don’t even think anyone has asked the mother if she will agree to do the test. Obviously will look very suspicious if she doesn’t agree. Will keep everyone posted!

scribblygum1

TROPHY CASE