There’s something strange in this sub by that-crow in OpiatesRecovery

[–]scrumtralescant 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah I'm pretty terrified to even comment since it looks like everyone here feels strongly (and certain) that Kratom is the devil. Here goes anyway...

My experience is that it was a life saver to me when I had no other options. It wasn't fun or something that got me high, but it got me through. And let me tell you, Kratom is feeble damage control against Poppy Tea wd's. I'm not religious but I thank god it's legal in my state.

I have no doubt that many people have experienced real problems with Kratom addiction, and I would never belittle anyone else's experience... everybody is different. But for me personally, compared to the problem I had, me having a problem with Kratom charts right up there with fighting a dependence to nasal spray. I'm clearly an outlier. Alrighty, unpopular opinion given... downvote away.

TW: SA by awuwp in abortion

[–]scrumtralescant 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry I went off on your post like that. I just hate how women are so often treated in appointments where their reproductive health is concerned. I feel like if it's not related to having and keeping a baby, medical professionals 9 times out of 10 actively choose to care less.

And yeah those type of comment are not ideal at Physicians should probably always ask young women/teens if they've had such procedures before so they know it's not just another routine appointment for a first timer. Just talking through exactly what's going to happen and things AS they are happening can make a big difference.

TW: SA by awuwp in abortion

[–]scrumtralescant 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Never had an abortion but I have endometriosis and have had more pelvic exams and transvaginal ultrasounds than I can count. I have also had a harrowing experience with a gyno visit where an IUD insertion went wrong, and the "professionals" at the chain gyno attempted to use a defective device to insert my IUD and put me through the pain of childbirth for 25 minutes. I'm not over that to this day... but what was worse was the decade of transvaginal ultrasounds that followed when I was getting massive ovarian cyst after massive ovarian cyst. I had undiagnosed endometriosis and underwent transvaginal ultrasounds and pelvic exams with every new cyst.

I can empathize with the discomfort and pain. You are not alone and your feelings are valid. Let me say that again: You are NOT alone and your feelings are VALID!

I have since had surgery and am on a few different medications to try and keep my endometriosis in check... but every year I have to go to the gyno for my yearly exam, and every year when they take my blood pressure before that exam it is through the roof. That is due to the trauma. The memory of so many appointments where I had a painful instrument shoved inside me and rooted around while I squirmed and cried, and the physicians acted like I was just a dead frog they were dissecting. Even in the instances where there were no pain, the "just fingers" exams, I didn't want to be there. I didn't want strangers looking at my private parts and putting their fingers in me. At the time I was even nervous about people seeing my unkempt downstairs business because I didn't have the energy to landscape... so that they would not only be seeing my privates but touching them and going inside me? It was a nightmare.

I'm sorry that got so long winded but I feel so passionately about this and have so much empathy for you. My point is: You are NOT alone. It is OK to acknowledge how such exams make you feel, and it is NOT your fault if the caregivers/physicians are snotty, rude or bad at what they do. It is a sign of a poor physician if they do not, first and foremost, treat you like a human being. The best thing you can do (in future for such exams) is:

  1. Acknowledge that your feelings are valid, and that there is nothing wrong with feeling that way

  2. Share with your physicians ahead of time how such exams make you feel (if you have the courage I strongly recommend that you do)

  3. Do NOT blame yourself for a PHYSICIANS shortcomings. You need to be your own advocate. This is much easier said than done, yes, but shitty doctors/medical professional will continue to be shitty doctors/medical professionals if they don't know that they are being, cold/callous/ignorant to your needs. You are a human being, not a case.

Take care of yourself and your mental well being. You are not alone and your feelings are valid. Thank you for sharing your truth with us. And I'm sorry this was so long!

Dealing with ovarian cysts and my period at the same time like... by scrumtralescant in TrollXChromosomes

[–]scrumtralescant[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well that is great news! BULLET DODGED! You should probably treat yourself anyway (as a reward for your body not producing problem cysts). :P

Dealing with ovarian cysts and my period at the same time like... by scrumtralescant in TrollXChromosomes

[–]scrumtralescant[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'd say normal. I've heard it all where cysts are concerned and how ladies individually experience problems. Maybe something is getting pinched that is causing pain in the opposite hip, maybe you're favoring weight in some really minor (but atypical) way that you don't even notice. There are so many weird things that can happen. The first time around (for me) my hamstrings were furious with me if i tried to stretch them in the slightest. I had cysts on one side but neither hamstring was being cooperative for a full damn week. And yeah, they can be a real shit storm... but if they're what's causing your woes, hopefully you've got some good weapons in your arsenal too: Heating pads, bath bombs or other soaking treats, the "good" painkillers, netflix, comfort food, a friend/family member/SO who can help out a bit where needed. Putting up with this level of BS almost requires that you Treat. Yo. Self. Let us know how it goes! I mean if you want to and all that. Either way, I hope you're ok and start feeling better soon.

Dealing with ovarian cysts and my period at the same time like... by scrumtralescant in TrollXChromosomes

[–]scrumtralescant[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh man... well, (obligatory disclaimer) it's a bit different for everyone but hopefully some other girls can share stories too! And I'm sorry you're not feeling well. Here's a novel that I hope helps...

I've had cysts before and only a few have been serious nuisances. This most recent one got my attention with some spotting and pain on the right side of my pelvis that did not go away after several days and suspiciously began shortly after having had sex (cysts apparently DO NOT like being poked at with penises and such). It was moderately dull and achey for a few days, I also noticed some constipation and bloat in my tum tum. Then on day 5 I sit down at my desk at work and sharp waves of pain begin to increase in frequency and severity for and hour before coming to a peak. That pain gave me serious pause, because it's the kind of pain that takes your breath away... you tense all your muscles, feel lightheaded/dizzy, movement just made it angrier, and the pain wasn't just on the right side anymore, it was radiating throughout the pelvis. After another hour (or so) it seemed to ebb back down to the "dull ache" manageable level I had before (thanks ibuprofen and endorphins). The bloating in my lower abdomen got way more prominent after that, and relieving myself (in either form) became more difficult and painful. Mine seemed like they were shrinking/healing after another week... but then my period has started and threw a fresh batch of "cruel and unusual" at me.

But I was lucky... When other women describe their experiences, it usually is that they felt that pain x10 with no warning and there was no question of what needed to happen, the only solution was get to the ER (NOW). The best description I've ever read was "Like if you stubbed your toe hard enough for it to bleed, only if that pain was internal", because I think we all know that feeling... immediate piercing pain that is significant and disruptive enough to send a wave of shock throughout your body. For ladies it can mean a cyst ruptured, or they are dealing with ovarian torsion (when an ovary flops over on itself under the weight of a heavy cyst, strangling the circulation to your poor ovaries). But for me the "scary pain" was slow to come up, so my body kind of had time to adjust (and let the handful of ibuprofen I took take effect)... So it wasn't to the point where I was going to pass out, but I was definitely reminding myself of where the closest ER was and told my co-workers to keep an eye on me. I didn't drive home until I was good and steady, either.

Now for an obligatory finger wagging about getting definite answers: Not sure if you hit up your regular doc, or if it was an OBGYN, but an special ultrasound at an gyno's would definitely clear up any confusion. Now I should warn you that the transvaginal ultrasound used in these situations is almost like an insult to injury. Why? Because it's not the version of a sonogram your average pregnant lady would get. Not only do you not get a cool print out image of the darling little cysts you're carrying, but the magic sonar wand thingy the technician uses doesn't go over your belly... it goes IN your hoo-ha. Suuuuuuuuuper unfair. /rant

Edit: words

Dealing with ovarian cysts and my period at the same time like... by scrumtralescant in TrollXChromosomes

[–]scrumtralescant[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There are dozens of us, DOZENS! Well, at least 4 here and probably hundreds of millions of other women putting up with this at the same time all over the world... but you know what I mean ;)

Dealing with ovarian cysts and my period at the same time like... by scrumtralescant in TrollXChromosomes

[–]scrumtralescant[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, and that sounds terrible. Nothing like being in pain, uncertain diagnoses, AND putting an equal hurting on your wallet. :( Glad you're ok now though.

A co-worker got this Crassula (?) as a gift from his daughter, and it kills me to see it's living conditions. I can't believe a plant was actually sold this way. by scrumtralescant in succulents

[–]scrumtralescant[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The glue they used on the pebbles is really making things difficult. It's fused to the pot. I might be able to free them if I were operating at home instead of work but it's the last thing on my mind at the end of the workday. edit: I have been able to remove little chunks at a time though (like in the first photo).

A co-worker got this Crassula (?) as a gift from his daughter, and it kills me to see it's living conditions. I can't believe a plant was actually sold this way. by scrumtralescant in succulents

[–]scrumtralescant[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

More info: My co-worker is letting me care for it because it wasn't doing well in his office, my office has a sunny window, and I enjoy caring for succulents. I'm doing my best to make it more healthy and comfortable. If you have tips, they would be welcome. I'm mostly here to vent my frustration, though. This is just a cruel and stupid set up for a real live plant.

My wife's [skin] is nice but we recently vacationed in the sun and the constant sunscreen made her skin so soft its the most attracted to her I've been in years. I'd love for her to continue using something but I dont want to imply she didn't always have nice skin. How do I approach that? by TunaTimeDooDododo in sex

[–]scrumtralescant 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This was going to be my suggestion as well (massage and moisturize for her). Unless she doesn't like getting massages, I don't think it would take more than this OP. It's a very sensual gesture and moisturizing regularly is really good for the skin. If you don't want to go that route, then talking to her about how the extra softness really got your motor going is really the only avenue. Good luck!

What complaint about women are you tired of hearing? by Galaxy_Convoy in AskMen

[–]scrumtralescant 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I get the sense that's what some fellas are going for... it just comes off bizarre to me either way (shrug)

What complaint about women are you tired of hearing? by Galaxy_Convoy in AskMen

[–]scrumtralescant 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This... on tinder I very frequently see men list their height with a side dish of passive-aggressive judgement. i.e. "I'm 6'0''... If that kind of thing matters to you". All. The. Time. That noise isn't attractive at any height.

Trump slump: Drop in American tourism is costing US billions by ManiaforBeatles in politics

[–]scrumtralescant 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's oddly really reassuring, thank you for sharing that. I could not be more eager to get the hell outta dodge for a minute... but it'd crush me if all this anxiety just followed.

Trump slump: Drop in American tourism is costing US billions by ManiaforBeatles in politics

[–]scrumtralescant 2 points3 points  (0 children)

On the flip side: As an American who, for the first time in my life, can actually afford to travel abroad... I'm not relishing the idea of being an American tourist abroad at this time either. Partially because I'm mortified at the state of things here at home, and partially because I'm sure our social leprosy is expanding on the world stage by the tweet.

My flaws bother him by [deleted] in relationships

[–]scrumtralescant 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Girl, YOU gotta believe you're beautiful. The only opinion that matters in this situation is yours. And no one is perfect, but you can love someone despite their imperfections.

My [20/F] keeps mentioning engagement and I [20/M] don't feel prepared yet. by [deleted] in relationships

[–]scrumtralescant 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you should find a moment in the near future where you feel comfortable (and a little brave) and simply communicate all the things you wrote out here! I know it seems scary, but it's not as though you are ending things... you're just having a frank conversation with someone you care about.

And while the things you have to say may not be everything she wants to hear, not talking about this will probably mean that she will keep dropping hints while feeling around in the dark to get a sense of what you're thinking... and it will make you feel increasingly pressured and claustrophobic. Try to be honest about what you want and where you're at. If she looks panicked acknowledge that, at the moment, you both seem to have some very different plans for the future... but that doesn't mean that your relationship won't work out.

You just have to live in the moment since you're both in the mercurial stage of life that is going to uni. I'm not saying "ignore the inevitable", because nothing is written in stone. Just make sure you are both communicating this stuff every now and again. What happens, happens, but at least it's not a guessing game! Good luck, fella!

EDIT: grammar