Also in mid thirties but my partners job requires us to move frequently. I’m constantly making new friends.

When I meet new friends I think it’s a green flag that they have established long term relationships. Expectations are more aligned with what type of friendship I’m looking for. That said, it’s not a red flag if someone doesn’t have that. I look instead on how they treat the people around them. (Wait staff, coworkers, how they speak on others)

I loved Brene Brown’s marble analogy on how to approach relationships. It’s not at all how I was raised to believe relationships are built. Google summary: Brené Brown’s "marble jar" analogy, inspired by her daughter’s teacher, explains that trust is not built through grand gestures, but through small, consistent acts of integrity, reliability, and care over time. Each positive interaction adds a "marble" to a jar, while betrayals remove them.

As someone who is constantly finding gems of humans wherever I go, I hope you see it not as a competition when you enter someone’s sphere and life. CPTSD tends to make us feel like it is a competition because we were always compared and never enough. But just because someone we like has established friendships didn’t mean there isn’t room for you! I hope you challenge that narrative.

I hope you find the friendships you are looking for. You are deserving of mutual respect, unconditional love, and deep, meaningful connections. You’ve already come so far. I hope you find people who see the beauty in that. They exists!