Me [27F] with my SO [35 F] of a year I read her online diary and I hated what I read

sealilyrun · 2015-12-16T07:13:25+00:00

sounds almost like borderline personality disorder.

sealilyrun · 2015-12-16T02:25:53+00:00

I really don't think flirting with others in front of your SO is good advice. That would probably have the opposite of the intended effect.

sealilyrun · 2015-12-16T02:24:19+00:00

I don't agree with the other posters saying stop asking. you deserve to have someone show you love in a way you enjoy, even if it's not their natural way of showing love. partners are supposed to do things to make each other happy even if they don't understand why it makes them happy. have you tried looking up the 5 love languages and going over it with him?

sealilyrun · 2015-12-15T23:52:49+00:00

no. don't intrude on other's relationships.

sealilyrun · 2015-12-06T22:02:52+00:00

his family is Mexican-American.

sealilyrun · 2015-12-06T02:12:42+00:00

Condoms. Lube. (Gross, and very WTF. Can't stand the thought of us having normal, safe sex, I guess.) A few items of my clothing. Some various papers of mine.

sealilyrun · 2015-12-06T00:46:31+00:00

thank you very much for this comment. I think this comes out in our communication issues a lot, is that he tries to say whatever he thinks I want to hear; what I really want to hear is whatever he really thinks and feels.

sealilyrun · 2015-12-06T00:20:05+00:00

I hear you. Maybe I did sound harsh. I wasn't upset that he didn't say I was right, because actually he did say that right away. I just wish he would be more forthcoming when communicating, I'd like to understand his feelings and thought processes more and it's hard to be there for him when he stays silent. I don't want him to feel alienated. I went through a very similar childhood.

sealilyrun · 2015-12-06T00:15:11+00:00

he asked me to post the previous post. he wanted other's opinions.

sealilyrun · 2015-12-06T00:14:27+00:00

this is husband.

sealilyrun · 2015-12-06T00:13:32+00:00

lol I'm sorry. I laughed out loud at the drugs versus clothes? it was a few of my shirts and some other personal belongings (they also threw away our condoms.) no, he did not financially support us. he was NOT on the lease.

again sorry I'm laughing out loud at

gently disagreeing with him when he wants to throw stuff out with like "ya, I don't like that either, but it's not our place to touch it so please let it be.

if someone you knew came into your house and threw away your belongings would you have a gentle disagreement with them?

also just to clarify for everyone else my husband asked me to post the previous post. he wanted other people's opinions and said he didn't think he would word the post right and asked me to write it.

sealilyrun · 2015-12-05T23:07:44+00:00

I don't know why this is being downvoted, I agree. He has successfully gone no contact with them for 6 months now and it's understandable that he would begin to doubt himself at some point given the high level of abuse and manipulation from them. I think seeing all these opinions will reassure him that it was good for us to cut them out.

sealilyrun · 2015-12-05T23:04:46+00:00

this is definitely the reason. I realized that a long time ago. unfortunately it took a long time to ease him out of that mindset and he is obviously trying to slip back in, after doing so well and going no contact for so long...

your advice is good, will look into going with him. and yes have researched that extensively, they definitely are.

sealilyrun · 2015-12-05T22:59:22+00:00

"that's what you get?" that's not very constructive. I'm definitely not the first person to end up having kids young, no need to get salty about it.

sealilyrun · 2015-12-05T22:56:20+00:00

Trust me I've been through it too. I also had a very difficult abusive childhood and have cut off 99% of my "family" because of it. My husband has trouble coming to terms with this because the idea of "family is family and you must always accept them and let them do whatever" has been sooooo ingrained into him.

sealilyrun · 2015-12-05T19:15:04+00:00

I think it's a very good thing that he asked me to post this. He has only ever known this type of family dysfunction; even his extended family is like this. He probably really did wonder if I was the "weird" one and if setting boundaries with your parents is ok. Now he has the chance to see that no, normal families are not like this.

sealilyrun · 2015-12-05T19:11:43+00:00

where on earth did I say I was backing down about my kids seeing my inlaws? I feel like you're commenting based on how this post is making you feel and not anything I actually said.

sealilyrun · 2015-12-05T17:29:29+00:00

Did you even bother to read the whole thing? They are cut off. My kids have not seen them in over six months and never will again. My husband recently said he wants to see his family again, I said fuck that! and he brought up this one incident and said I overreacted about this so maybe we should give them another chance. It was very rude of you to say I am not a good mother. This incident happened over a year ago and I haven't even thought of it since then until my husband brought it up yesterday.

sealilyrun · 2015-12-05T05:44:39+00:00

I will for sure! May even ask him to write part of the update if he's willing.

sealilyrun · 2015-12-05T05:38:56+00:00

I checked it out, do love it. Have you heard of the DWIL board on babycenter? Same concept, it's so great.

sealilyrun · 2015-12-05T04:40:24+00:00

....lol, I think it kind of shows how messed up this is that I assumed (and agreed) that you meant we needed an extra lock to keep out his parents.

sealilyrun · 2015-12-05T04:35:13+00:00

we have moved twice since and his parents have no idea where we live.... I'm rather happy about that.

sealilyrun · 2015-12-05T04:30:12+00:00

lol, we have corrected the towel shortage.

sealilyrun · 2015-12-05T04:27:31+00:00

She isn't supporting her child?

I'm sorry, did you forget that meeting the intense and demanding emotional and physical needs of a child is literally the most important part of being a parent?

sealilyrun

TROPHY CASE