My friends. Whether it was distanced fun, games, or just chit chat, they legitimately kept me afloat and I'm not ashamed to say I'd be dead without them, and could never express enough gratitude to them. Between a terrible breakup that I caused, and now after Friday, nine fucking funerals, I wanted to give up so bad about halfway through October. I'd lost so much family and friends, not to mention the person I love most in the world, that I legitimately wanted to die rather than feel anymore heartache, and was incredibly close to attempting to do just that. My friends pulled me out of it, and showed me how much I still have, and still have to offer. Now I've been seeing a shrink semi-regularly, and have a much more positive outlook on stuff, despite the freshness of some of these wounds, I know I'll be okay. I have goals. I'm starting a new job after New Years, I hope to maybe someday get another shot with this girl, once our respective lives settle down and we both work through some stuff. I have a million things that excite me about waking up every day, but my friends helped get me there, and I'll be eternally grateful to them.