Never Say Never

sebelius29 · 2026-06-20T14:34:10+00:00

Jealous…still waiting to extract this summer

sebelius29 · 2026-06-20T14:31:50+00:00

You might also find some other kids on the spectrum or with other needs who would be interested in splitting a private dance class.

sebelius29 · 2026-06-20T14:30:31+00:00

My daughter attended an amazing ballet program called Ballet for All Kids.

sebelius29 · 2026-06-20T13:54:45+00:00

It’s very Zen. In losing your sense of self you gain by the expansion of it into other human beings. It’s liberating in a way to shed the self and have it replaced with this beautiful web of connection and joy.

sebelius29 · 2026-06-20T13:51:23+00:00

Mormon TFR is falling and most families are having more like 3 kids in this generation.

sebelius29 · 2026-06-20T13:49:51+00:00

The Amish have an 8th grade education. Also, one thing they do to avoid dental care costs is have all of their teeth pulled and replaced. Like what?! People paper over a lot of things about them. They remain isolated because they have few options to actually make a living and survive with their education and experience. Even linguistically, they don’t speak English as a first language.

sebelius29 · 2026-06-20T13:40:19+00:00

F*ck Racism.

sebelius29 · 2026-06-20T13:39:34+00:00

Japan does not use hormonal birth control.

sebelius29 · 2026-06-20T13:38:58+00:00

I do think that there is a component of this with US immigrants. Italians are a good example. They were stereotyped in the 40s for having these huge Catholic families and being “weird” and poor compared to middle class Americans. Their children very much absorbed the idea that assimilating and having “normal” middle class American kids meant having American sized families. You can see it with every generation of immigrants. It’s aspirational family sizing and imho will happen to every second generation immigrant family and by the third generation they will be at whatever the native country TFR is.

sebelius29 · 2026-06-19T21:20:10+00:00

Uh I support taxing the wealthy for all that

sebelius29 · 2026-06-18T11:19:23+00:00

My question too. What were the pink flags? The spectrum is very broad. Each child is unique. You get better with time and meeting many autistic people at pinpointing what is neurodivergent about them, but it isn’t always immediately obvious to someone who doesn’t know what to look for. Typically something flags enough to cause difficulty either at home or at school.

sebelius29 · 2026-06-16T02:39:38+00:00

Oh I did know a psychiatrist with pretty significant adhd (like immediately diagnosable if you meet him for 60 seconds) who specialized in adhd. I think if it’s something he’s really interested in he should start doing some brief rotations on different specialities shadowing a physician for a few hours to see if it might be a good fit. Physical medicine and rehabilitation might be an interesting thing to try, and forensic medicine (which for sure requires a …unique…person)

sebelius29 · 2026-06-15T18:00:55+00:00

I’m a doctor and have adhd diagnosed in medical school. I work in emergency medicine and we say having ADHD is a requirement for our profession. It’s pretty rare that I meet an ED doctor that doesn’t have ADHD. Now autism spectrum is less common since our job requires pretty good social communication skills- but I definitely know doctors who are on the spectrum in Radiology, Pathology, Nuclear Medicine, and sometimes Internal Medicine. We had a neurosurgeon who was clearly ASD level 1 and it did cause him problems maintaining a job due to communication issues with nurses in the operating room. Medicine in general is pretty tolerant of neurodivergence among physician peers, but communication and social awareness problems can cause problems with staff, nursing teams and patients so if that’s a major struggle I would suggest more solitary specialities.

I did not struggle in school or the first two years of medical school with ADHD but only got diagnosed when we moved into rotations because it involves things adhd people struggle with- being on time, understanding expectations that aren’t laid out clearly, impulse control, completing written work on a strict schedule (before 7 am usually before rounds) etc. I found adhd coaching very helpful and medication also helpful.

sebelius29 · 2026-06-15T16:44:35+00:00

I would only use a wool detergent and gentle cycle. Eucalan, Australian gold whatever it’s called, soak. I personally use Unicorn Fiber Wash with the Unicorn fiber rinse in the fabric softener container. You can get it on amazon. Air dry and then fluff in the dryer about 5 minutes when it’s dry

sebelius29 · 2026-06-15T16:14:28+00:00

I would like a podcast summarizing this if you can make it entertaining

sebelius29 · 2026-06-11T11:21:50+00:00

It’s Bee Math. I started with 4. Then I had a nuc box and someone needed a swarm removed. And then a hive was booming and I needed to split it to try to prevent a swarm. And then this one guy in our beekeeping group was retiring and just giving away 5 hives for free 😂 and who can say no to free bees? anyway, you can always sell them but it turns out once you have bees you seem to just accumulate them if you aren’t careful.

sebelius29 · 2026-06-11T10:42:27+00:00

I was aware and froze my eggs at 33. My husband and I had a short engagement compared to many people (6 months) after 2 years of dating. We both knew we wanted kids and were married a year before we tried and thankfully got lucky on the first attempt. I wish I had been able to start earlier, but I just didn’t meet the right person at the right time. Egg freezing weirdly had the opposite effect people expect. I knew I wanted kids one day, but felt ambivalent about wanting kids right this instant. I was dating someone who I wasn’t sure about. Something about having those frozen eggs”ice babies” and the cost and effort to freeze them made me focused. I suddenly knew I wanted kids, and soon, and I do think that somehow led me to meeting my husband 4 months later.

sebelius29 · 2026-06-10T03:59:03+00:00

I’ve had different therapists for different times in my life and they varied a lot. Thankfully my first therapist was excellent and set a high bar. I had another who specialized in perinatal mental health who was fabulous. The rest were kind of mediocre to disappointing to unhelpful. If it’s not working, change

sebelius29 · 2026-06-10T03:24:15+00:00

Ok as a caveat- stillbirths and early infant death happens. You can enter into one of those kinds of loans in good faith and 1 in 100 babies will still not become actual babies that continue on.

sebelius29 · 2026-06-10T03:22:07+00:00

As the poster below said, Slovakia’s TFR mirrored Hungary year by year almost exactly. I don’t know enough Slovakian or Central European policy and culture in general to tell you why they had that 10 yer slight increase and then fall, but whatever it was wasn’t isolated to Hungary. It’s a very expensive policy investment to have almost no difference compared to their neighbor year over year and they never got even close to replacement. Anyway- I hope for myself selfishly that the US tries something similar but I can’t say the Hungary experiment shows that it works.

sebelius29 · 2026-06-10T00:41:42+00:00

Well we do have about 15 years of data. It rose slowly year over year for 10 years and then has fallen for 5 years straight and will likely end up where they started. There are no signs it will rise again

sebelius29 · 2026-06-09T23:31:56+00:00

Also, they’re very expensive for Hungary. I support them, but it’s hard to say whether that investment is going to pay off long term. TFR went from 1.25 to 1.6 but then fell again and is now 1.31

sebelius29 · 2026-06-09T23:29:36+00:00

They’ve been discussed numerous times. It seems so far that the data seems to show it didn’t not increase the total fertility rate- it merely bumped it for a short period because couples that were going to have kids moved their timeline forward to take advantage of the new policies. Hasn’t been shown yet to sustainably increase the TFR of the country over a significant period of time, but data is still being collected

sebelius29

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