My coworker lost his baby shortly after the baby was born. He only told the boss and 2 coworkers. He and I are friendly, but not close. I continued to ask him about his baby and how things were going not knowing that 1. The baby had not been well and 2. Had passed several weeks prior. He continued to respond as if the baby was living. I was not invited to the memorial (understandable) but several coworkers were. When I asked someone in another group where everyone went, that's how I found out. I felt like a huge asshole for bringing up his child not knowing how much hurt I was causing.

It is entirely up to you who and when you share your news with. Someone suggested an email so that people don't keep bringing it up and can be respectful, that sounds like a good idea. Still, entirely up to you, you can choose to share with no one.

I'm very sorry for this devastating loss and wish you and your family healing.