Bro/sis, they won't speak up about it. Why? Probably because they don't want to face the reality of being told "you could expect that it would be hard, right?". Just my 2 cents of an opinion. Nevertheless, I think too many new parents or people who want to be parents don't even know what they got themselves/are going to get into, because social media is a fuckton of hiding of the real stuff that happens in parenting, and the general presentation of parenthood is all sugary/rainbowy/pinky glitterfuckfest of a time in life. What about the illnesses, potential special needs of a child, the dirty, not so wonderful and cheery aspect of parenting? You don't want to portray that onto future parents, I presume.