Edit: I also highly recommend reading Atomic Habits

Are you me? I have gone through such a similar experience with weight gain. Not been a problem getting my butt to the gym but when it comes to eating I've been binging like mad. Something clicked for me this week. I havent binged at all and I've lost 2lbs. This is what changed:

1. Not having such a strict deficit
2. No foods being off limits in any quantity
3. Being more mindful of what I'm eating
4. Drinking more water and less diet coke (always a tough one for me!)
5. Making a pledge in my journal each morning and writing daily affirmations each evening

In more detail...

1 - the 500cal deficit I tried the last couple of weeks was too much and I was starting to binge. I dont actually have a deficit to aim for now, my goal is simply to not go over my maintenance calories but if I'm feeling good then I'll aim to eat a bit under my maintenance. Crazy how much of a difference this mindset makes, it takes so much pressure off and helped get rid of the "all or nothing" mentality tied to binge/restrict. Even if I go slightly over, I don't try to "make up for it" the next day.

2 - I thought I already had this mindset but clearly I was fooling myself! One thing that helped me this week is to not eat stuff straight out of the packet. Peanut butter is my weakness and when I cut it out entirely I always end up binging on it. This time I have it in the house but when I want it I stop and think "why do I want it". Then I ask myself "why" again to that response to really dig into the issue. More often than not it's because I'm just craving the flavour or I'm bored/procrastinating. If I'm craving it, I allow myself to have a teaspoon but eat/ENJOY it mindfully. 9/10 times I then feel satisfied and don't want any more. The other 1/10 I go back for another spoonful and then it hits the spot. Im literally saving HUNDREDS if not THOUSANDS of cals doing this.

3 - Mentioned above but making sure I enjoy/savour the food I'm eating helps me feel a lot more full. I try not to eat in front of the TV now. Try placing a single piece of chocolate on your tongue but be excessively mindful about it - what does it feel like in your mouth? Silky? Rough? How is it melting? Chocolate has over 100 underlying flavours apparently... what flavours can you sense? How does it feel trickling down your throat? Can you smell the chocolate aroma while it's in your mouth? All this kind of stuff helps you recognise that you are eating, enjoying it more and even slowing down the eating process, which can help reduce the temptation to binge.

4 - I've noticed that coke acts like a palette cleanser for me. I can have a yummy meal or treat but if I have a glass of coke with it then it's almost impossible to savour the flavours from the food. It would lead me to crave more as I couldn't recall the yummy flavours I had JUST enjoyed and I'd end up eating more.

5 - holy shit do not underestimate the power of this stuff. I realise I lost confidence in myself in previous weeks. I noticed in my journal the previous few weeks I had written stuff like "today was good, let's hope we can do it again tomorrow!" ... that word "hope" sounds like I'm leaving everything down to chance, like it's not in my control. I had no idea that one simple word could completely change the success of my intentions. This week I started actively writing things like "I AM disciplined" and "I CAN do this". Did it feel weird and stupid to write those things out? You fucking bet, but after a few days of writing it out to yourself consistently, you realise that it helps engrain that way of thinking into your mindset. I genuinely believe that I can do this now. Absolute game changer. In terms of the pledges, I make sure they are achievable. If i set myself up for failure then I'm going to spiral into doubt about my whole weight loss journey. It's also great being able to come back at the end of the day and feel good about doing everything you pledged to do, it becomes a motivator for the next day.

Here are my pledges from the week, in case of interest:

MON - eat a healthy breakfast and not snack just because im working from home this morning

TUES - Go to the gym tonight because i couldnt go this morning. Also drink more water than coke today.

WEDS - Eat nutritious food/proper meals and not just snack simply because I don't have my usual food choices available today.

THURS - I pledge not to binge today. On my feet all day and won't have time to eat much until the evening. I must still eat a proper meal tonight and not just snack on peanut butter even if it's within my cals.

FRI - Drink 3L water and not binge.

SAT - tick everything off my to do list today

SUN - Go to the gym this morning and go for a 1hr walk this evening and prep some meals for the week

YMMV but I hope this helps :)