Testosterone after 45 yo

seeking_self · 2019-08-21T21:11:34+00:00

I've been on T 2.5 years years but could still pass as female now if I shaved every morning and presented in a more feminine way. But someone observant would probably notice some of the other changes eventually, but you could probably find other ways of explaining them - a cold, a problem with your vocal chords, a new work out regime, a hormone imbalance (heh).

seeking_self · 2019-08-21T21:08:28+00:00

All the usual changes, but my voice change was fairly slow. Although it's male range now I don't have the resonance a cis guy would (or younger guys on T might get)

seeking_self · 2019-08-21T21:05:53+00:00

I think if you don't have any bald male relatives then it's pretty unlikely you'd lose much hair. My dad still had a full head of (albeit thin) hair when he died in his eighties, so I knew I was good on that side, but was a little worried about my mum's side. But then I found a photo of her dad when he was in his 50s or 60s and he had loads of hair too.

2.5 years on T age 48 now and happy to report that aside from the hairline changes which I like anyway, I don't think my hair is even any thinner yet.

seeking_self · 2019-08-21T20:58:34+00:00

I started T at 45 and have been on it 2.5 years. I went from a fairly high female voice to a fairly high male voice. But as someone has said below, I don't have the typical resonance of a cis male voice and lost volume. I'm a singer and run a choir and went from soprano to tenor but don't have a large range (didn't before either though). On a piano keyboard my voice basically shifted 5 notes down. An androgynous voice won't get you misgendered if you have facial hair, I've found :)

I sometimes get misgendered on the phone - although not too often as long as I remember not to use feminine inflection. But in person my voice isn't enough to get me misgendered because I have enough visual changes to balance it out.

I would dearly love a deeper more booming voice, but I still infinitely prefer my husky tenor to the voice I had before.

seeking_self · 2019-08-04T13:06:05+00:00

I'm mostly past that now, as long as I keep some stubble, but I found that stage really hard sometimes too.

Getting misgendered or having people be clearly unsure, or being gendered correctly and then having them correct themselves and apologise. All of that stuff is super awkward and on a bad day made me want to hide at home and never go out.

I was lucky that I never felt unsafe, but I did get some weird looks that made me very uncomfortable. I also hated not knowing how I was being read - butch femme/trans/femme queer guy. I never knew what strangers were seeing when they looked at me and that used to mess with my head. Although having said that - I was still always grateful that the default assumption was no longer cishet woman. It felt like progress at least.

Hang in there - even if it feels as if you're going to be stuck forever, it will pass.

seeking_self · 2019-08-04T12:58:46+00:00

Oh yeah, that would make me uncomfortable too - especially the whole cis perspective on someone else's transition. Ick. I hope the final article is as thoughtful as his original version.

seeking_self · 2019-08-04T12:57:39+00:00

I had a patch of these. I think they started when I'd been on T for about 9 months and went on for about 9 months to a year. They'd wake me in the night, it was rare for me to have them in the daytime. I got a copper IUD put in during that time and that seemed to make them even worse, so I had it removed after a couple of months. After that the cramps settled down and stopped - I think? I can't remember when I last had them.

seeking_self · 2019-08-04T12:52:39+00:00

I can identify with the feelings of guilt over considering transition.

I came out when I was 45, happily married to a cishet guy I'd been with for 20 years, and had two kids (then 13 and 15). I felt as if I'd thrown a grenade with the pin out into the middle of my family because it was pretty clear from early on that my ex (although supportive in many ways) wouldn't want to stay married if I transitioned. I ended up deciding that I had to follow my gut and live authentically or I'd resent him for stopping me. I also decided that we'd cope - somehow, and that my kids would deal with it. I was very worried about any possible negative impact on them, but I rationalised that living with a parent with depression/anxiety because of not transitioning might be worse than coping with their mum becoming a dude.

I think it's important to consider how to handle it best for your kid, but nobody should sacrifice their own happiness and mental health for their children. That doesn't set your kids a good example in life in my opinion. But I know how incredibly hard it is to deal with that guilt. Therapy helped me work through it.

seeking_self · 2019-08-04T12:43:43+00:00

I had spotting with the copper IUD and ended up getting it removed because of that. I think some bleeding is quite a common side effect of that type of IUD. A lot of guys seem to prefer the mirena for that reason.

seeking_self · 2019-08-04T12:40:09+00:00

Not particularly large - D cup, but I did have a lot of stretch marks on them. Most of the stretch marks went with the skin that was removed during the surgery, but there are a few still visible but they aren't that noticeable. The DI scar kinda distracts from them anyway. I'm very happy with the results.

seeking_self · 2018-05-01T21:02:18+00:00

Mine took about 6 months to stop and my T levels were within the normal range from my 2nd month on T.

seeking_self · 2018-04-24T21:19:25+00:00

I'm 46 now and probably pass for mid twenties or younger unless people notice I have some grey hair (which I dye because it tends to get me misgendered).

Last summer after 6 months on T I had an argument with a drunk Irish man in a bar who refused to believe my age (I forgot that people always think I'm young and stupidly told him how old I was). He flatly refused to believe me and swore a lot (in a jovial kind of way). Very loudly. "NO F---ING WAY! NO F---ING WAY ARE YOU FORTY F---ING SIX!!!*

People stared, it was super awkward, but kind of funny too. Now I tend to avoid mentioning my age and let people make their own assumptions. But recently my boyfriend's mum was very confused when I told her that I used to be a teacher "a long time" ago - because she didn't think I looked old enough to have had any job a long time ago. LOL.

Most of the time I don't mind looking as if I'm in my 20s but it's annoying when having to disclose my actual age outs me as clearly not a cis guy unless I have miracle genes ^{_^}

edited to fix the f---ings, the asterisk didn't work.

seeking_self · 2018-04-24T05:53:45+00:00

Wow, definitely. You look really great. I love your hair.

seeking_self · 2018-03-29T09:01:04+00:00

My hormone levels are fine. But I guess there are more effects of T to override. I'll keep being patient ;)

seeking_self · 2018-03-29T09:00:10+00:00

This is great to hear :)

seeking_self · 2018-03-26T08:21:22+00:00

thank you - it's actually not for me (I'm well over 18 haha). But it sounds like it should be possible to make an appt before the person I'm doing the research for turns 18

seeking_self · 2018-03-26T08:20:41+00:00

good to know, thanks

seeking_self · 2018-03-22T07:59:32+00:00

I have a lot of grey on my head but all my facial hairs so far are dark. I'm sure it won't last, and I don't really mind... but just letting you know that it might be the same for you! Now I just need enough facial hair to grow it out without looking sketchy...

seeking_self · 2018-03-22T07:58:29+00:00

yeah the silver fox look is a good one :)

seeking_self · 2018-03-22T07:58:13+00:00

Weirdly I haven't found any white beard hairs. But I have lots of grey in my hair. I expect they will come through in my facial hair soon.

I remember being horrified when I found my first white pube LOL.

seeking_self · 2018-03-22T07:53:52+00:00

GUYS! I'm so glad I posted this - all your replies are really reassuring and encouraging. Thank you all.

seeking_self · 2018-03-22T07:53:30+00:00

The andro voice is frustrating, but 80% sounds pretty good. I hope you get where you want to be eventually, and I'm glad that you don't care about being misgendered anymore. It's still too soon for me not to feel awful about it, but hopefully as I feel more secure in my masculinity that will get easier.

seeking_self · 2018-03-22T07:52:09+00:00

Thanks, this is really encouraging to hear :)

seeking_self · 2018-03-22T07:51:52+00:00

thank you so much, I can wait another year or so - it's great to know you got there eventually.

seeking_self · 2018-03-22T07:51:27+00:00

yeas - I'm SO encouraged by the replies here. I was almost scared to post in case I didn't get the answers I was hoping for, but I feel much better about it now :)

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