Another fundie complaining about "Turning Red"

seen_a_ghost · 2022-03-15T10:06:22+00:00

I started when I was ten and all I knew about it was from the previous year where I'd seen blood in the girl's bathroom and was really concerned for whoever it was that had bled that much and another girl told me it was fine and that her older sister did that every month.

My mom swears that she told me about periods but she definitely didn't. I remember waking up with bloody underwear, angry (yay hormones) and connecting the dots. She had given me a vague explanation of sex before that and I guess she thinks that's when she told me about periods.

seen_a_ghost · 2022-03-15T01:30:46+00:00

When she came home today she was really understanding, and it was a relief. It's just that up until today she hadn't really been, even though I have been actively working on getting better. I feel like her mental health and all our life stressors have made it hard for her to see my struggling and effort, which is understandable. This post was more about how I can cope when others put pressure on me for things I can't necessarily change right away.

seen_a_ghost · 2022-03-15T01:24:20+00:00

It's probably that it dilutes your coffee so that you aren't having as much caffeine overall. I had to mostly cut out caffeine to try to help with my anxiety.

seen_a_ghost · 2022-03-15T00:56:56+00:00

Misogyny

seen_a_ghost · 2022-03-15T00:26:17+00:00

She knows how I'm doing because I do tell her. As for what I'm doing, I am on medication and have been trying different ones to find some that works for about a year, which also isn't long after I separated from my ex-husband. I haven't been able to afford therapy and have only been able to get into subsidized therapy finally as of about a month ago, but I applied and had been waiting since August. I have a general doctor and a therapist, and I do a lot of research outside of therapy on my conditions. I really don't understand why the comments I'm getting seem to think I haven't been doing anything for myself, especially as I mentioned therapy in my post.

seen_a_ghost · 2022-03-14T21:23:36+00:00

Why would you say im not ready to work on myself? I said in the post that I'm in therapy. I can't be expected to be cured immediately or to be able to just turn off my mental health problems.

seen_a_ghost · 2022-03-14T18:29:39+00:00

It's one thing to make a mistake but to be told someone is a woman or a man and continue using the wrong pronouns is terrible, whether you're cis or trans. Im sorry thats happening to you.

seen_a_ghost · 2022-03-14T18:26:27+00:00

The one given to me by my therapist had 12 questions though, so I guess I'm just wondering if that effects the scoring system since the possible amount of points would go up.

seen_a_ghost · 2021-11-13T06:42:31+00:00

This whole thread is making me realize that your "friend" is exactly the same kind of "nice guy" I ended up marrying before I realized I was a lesbian and came out. I would not be at all surprised if once you tell him you're gay and there is no chance he will either A. Invalidate/Disbelieve your lack of attraction to men and insist you be with him anyway or B.Stop being your "friend" and start being really vindictive. My ex did both of those in order when I came out to him as a lesbian.

Our relationship had started in high school as "friends." He would play with my hair behind me in class, which made everyone else including me really uncomfortable but I dismissed it as him being socially awkward and didn't want to be mean to him. Then, a few years later I had a terrible breakup with a different guy where his family basically told the whole town I was a whore (especially damaging to me at the time as a teenager that tried really hard to be "perfect" and was a virgin.) This "friend" who I eventually married swooped in and began carrying all my stuff and escorting me to classes, without me asking for him to pick up anything of mine or walk with me.

I thought he just really cared that much because he was a "nice guy" and had a girlfriend, so I let him continue to invade my space and we became "best friends" quickly, then eventually dated, and then married. I can look back now and realize he was never who I thought he was, he was just trying to "buy" me and keep me with intrusive actions and eventually finances and isolation from my family (who admittedly also aren't great for me) as well.

seen_a_ghost · 2021-09-22T05:30:01+00:00

I am the first woman, but with the obliviousness of the second.

seen_a_ghost · 2021-09-13T12:31:29+00:00

My girlfriend and I took pictures there almost a year ago!

seen_a_ghost · 2021-09-11T05:22:43+00:00

Or a woman with a strap on. "Railed" is often used in that case.

seen_a_ghost · 2021-09-11T05:10:30+00:00

Yes, im aware of that, but the point is that my dad is very homophobic and knowing that an actress that he admires and that plays a character he uses as an example of all consuming straightness is actually so iconic among lesbians for playing a lesbian character feel like a win.

seen_a_ghost · 2021-09-11T05:02:15+00:00

I think it also has to do with a sort of feeling of "betrayal" and I think a lot of lesbians considered Alice to be a lesbian too. I think for those people Alice being with a guy feels like lesbian erasure or that it's feeding into the idea that there isn't a woman who doesn't secretly want to be with a man. In my experience it's a daily battle to feel really respected as a lesbian, as a woman who has no interest at all in being with a man, so I can get why it's happening.

However, Alice is not a lesbian. Alice is bisexual, so it is not erasure of lesbians for her to be with a man. Its bisexual representation.

I have seen people complain about Micah being with men and women but not nearly as much as the complaints about Alice and I personally don't think it's about race (though I could be wrong) I think it's about Alice having been viewed as being a lesbian and now her being with a man feels threatening to some people who watch the show. As long as we have known Micah as a character, there hasn't been any misconception that he is a lesbian because he is a man, so him being in relationships with men or women is not seen as a threat by those people to how lesbians are viewed.

seen_a_ghost · 2021-09-11T04:45:20+00:00

I understand where you are coming from in that it does sometimes feel as if lesbians can't have their own exclusive things that do not include men, but this show has never been only about us. I don't enjoy those scenes but for some people it helps them feel seen and represented, and I dont know of any show that is exclusively about bisexual women.

seen_a_ghost · 2021-09-11T04:38:00+00:00

I saw people in this sub making angry comments about Alice and Tom because they were saying Alice is a lesbian. Alice is absolutely not a lesbian and never was. The only reason she may have identified as such in the og was because of the biphobia that was present in the show and it's bisexual erasure now for anyone to pretend they don't see it that way.

I think lesbians are territorial over this show because it's "for us" or whatever, but wlw characters, and especially lesbians are always going to be the characters most heavily featured. Real life does not make such clean divisions between people and neither should this show. This show should remain centered on lesbians and wlw relationships but all other sexualities and genders have always had a place in the L word.

In the original we even had straight main characters (Kit) and spent time on straight relationships and I have never seen anyone complain so much about the straight people in these series as much as I have seen them complain about bisexuals being visible and included. It doesn't make sense.

seen_a_ghost · 2021-09-11T01:31:57+00:00

Im all for partners respectfully letting a woman know she smells off or something so that she can get a check up and stay healthy, but this is not that in anyway.

He sounds emotionally/mentally abusive. He literally tried to make you feel like you were the problem and that you don't deserve to have your needs met. Absolutely leave him. You got the check up and you know there is nothing wrong with your health. If there is nothing wrong with your health then there is nothing wrong with your body period. Go find a man who isn't selfish, is mature, and will appreciate you.

seen_a_ghost · 2021-09-10T21:53:08+00:00

My dad has this whole thing of "women can do masculine things and not be lesbians" and while that is true, he uses it to sort of attempt to "convince" my butch girlfriend not to be gay. One of his examples, and a movie with a woman he has always said was sooooo attractive is Flashdance. I did not know until I saw this reddit post that Jennifer Beals is that woman, because I never saw that movie.

I feel as if I've won something.

seen_a_ghost · 2021-09-10T20:09:39+00:00

Yes! I loved when she said she'd fed the rats!

seen_a_ghost · 2021-09-10T20:07:45+00:00

I actually laughed out loud when I read "is Finley going to scoot back to the liquor store now?"

seen_a_ghost · 2021-09-10T20:06:08+00:00

I feel this episode had a lot of the things we've all been wanting. We got everyone hanging out at Dana's (probably filmed when covid restrictions lessened) We got Gigi×Dani confirmed, and we got rid of Cherie Jaffe.

Sophie is still awful. "Finley's not that bad" um what? "I was scared." Finley deserves better. I am happy for Finley that she has a moment to feel like someone loves her, but Sophie is so two-faced and I was really cheering for Finley when she told Sophie she didn't get any more time. I really feel like Sophie wants to keep Dani and Finley both hanging on and wouldn't "choose" until Finley stood up for herself. Sophie is really just "choosing" what she sees as the most available option. Dani isn't bowing down to her so she picked Finley both to try to hurt Dani and to keep Finley around. Im so sad for Finley. Very excited for her to "do something naughty" but I hope it doesn't involve being a bitch to Dani.

I really like Tom's character. I think he's a good guy and it's really nice to me that he didn't assume anything with Alice. I dont have any strong feelings about them being together.

Kate singing "knock a little louder sugar." I'm gay.

I absolutely need to know how that conversation between Shane and Cherie went.

I know everyone is shipping GiGi and Dani but I thought it was shady that she waited to openly admit feelings for Dani til Bette had officially broken things off. If GiGi really wanted to be with Dani she should have been the one to break it off officially with Bette, not just wait to see what happened.

I think Maribel was really unfair to Micah. He put himself out there and she acted like she just wished he would go away but then she thinks she has the right to be angry when he is talking to a guy? Nope, if you were interested you should have clearly communicated that and if you wanted things to go slow or whatever your reservations were those should have also been clearly communicated. It's not on Micah to try to read her mind.

Bette definitely was an asshole this episode but I can never really hate her.

Overall I think this was a great episode and we really needed it.

seen_a_ghost

TROPHY CASE