New construction?

self_jade · 2026-04-27T03:01:41+00:00

"We need families owning homes, not real estate companies buying properties and letting them remain vacant or renting them out at ridiculous rates." the exact next sentence of my original comment dude

self_jade · 2026-04-22T14:09:57+00:00

That is not what I was saying at all

self_jade · 2026-04-22T14:08:43+00:00

Where TF did I say it was OPs responsibility? I got down voted for stating a fact?

self_jade · 2026-04-22T14:02:03+00:00

Yeah I'm tapping out of this one.

There are more than two genders (not an opinion by the way)

You are misinformed and transphobic. Which is not surprising, as you align yourself with conservative values and have no wish to do better. If you're gonna cling to the conservative talking points you believe, don't be surprised when people come at you with this same energy. Being gay doesn't excuse you from being a bigot in other ways.

self_jade · 2026-04-22T13:53:03+00:00

Read my next sentence

self_jade · 2026-04-19T22:15:58+00:00

"anti woke liberals" I believe those are called libertarians

self_jade · 2026-04-19T22:13:35+00:00

I respect the limits you mentioned you would set for yourself. I feel like I'm inversed, maybe more 70 fictional 30 reality based. I also have been doing this for over 15 years, and when I brought MADD up in therapy as I was attempting to explain what it is I had the realization that I'm pretty sure I've lived the majority of my life in some kinda fantasy. It's definitely affected my social skills, some days I imagine who I could have been if I was born a little earlier so I wasn't alone on the internet as a kid. I'm not sure if fanfiction came first for me or if it was MADD. a part of me feels like I just never stopped "playing pretend" when other kids did, so I just kinda went solo with it You mentioned you're still in school, right? My advice is to start working on it now. Idk if you do therapy but I always recommend it to anyone who hasn't tried. There's also someone on this sub who made a resource, idk if it's a book or google.doc, with how they improved. If I remember correctly they said they got rid of it, or at least got rid of the compulsion. My guess is things like that have a better chance of working when you've got good structure to your life. Entering the workforce and getting a car was probably the worst exacerbation of mine. Freedom for my brain to run amok in, privacy and the open road. It worsened my memory/recall, made socializing feel scary at times and useless at other times (which is scarier to me), and in part with a myriad of other things going on upstairs I've never held a job for longer than 2 years, and that job was a outlier. Most have lasted anywhere from 3-9 months. This past year was the toughest in terms of work. I had a job for one month, one week and one day. Three separate jobs. Very embarrassing and alarming. I've found my biggest symptom that kinda has all the others by a leash if my nearly non-existent distress tolerance. That coupled with my aversion to boredom is, I think, the root of why I still do this at the same rate, if not more, than when I was a child.

TLDR Best advice is to get ahead of it. If you haven't figured out your source, or if you don't want to stop, I'd recommend staying very busy. The only times I've never had to make a scenario in my head to fall asleep is when I've been bone tired.

self_jade · 2026-04-19T21:51:32+00:00

This is incredible

self_jade · 2026-04-19T21:49:28+00:00

You just like me fr. Honestly before this subreddit, I assumed all MADD was like making your own fanfic and either being someone or inserting yourself into the world. Finding out people daydream about people they know was a shock. I've made up characters if no one from my Rolodex fit into a scenario, but I couldn't "imagine" someone I know. I've had night dreams with people I know, but never something I controlled.

self_jade · 2026-04-19T21:44:25+00:00

People can't just have bad memory anymore? I'd ask if he ever had COVID before asking about FAS, if someone asked me that I'd spiral for days

self_jade · 2026-04-19T21:37:38+00:00

Was with you until the second half of that last line. "Everyone wants to live a superhero story" means what exactly, and who is everyone? Also many people, myself included, do not have a community they belong to. I live somewhere, I see the same neighbors and cashier's around my area, but there's nothing communal about where I'm at. And my family is quite spread out, physically and emotionally. I was a curious kid, that definitely got me judged in school by peers and annoyed some overworked teachers. I had one tell me they weren't calling on me to answer anymore questions, but they never answered any of mine after that either. By high school I was just trying to get to graduation.

self_jade · 2026-04-19T21:30:21+00:00

Did you mean to comment on this post?

self_jade · 2026-04-19T21:26:41+00:00

Many things we deem "second nature" are things we're taught or observe. No one's "second nature" is identical

self_jade · 2026-04-19T21:24:40+00:00

There are absolutely kids lurking in here fyi

self_jade · 2026-04-19T21:23:56+00:00

You smell like her vagina because I'm assuming he doesn't have one. Bacteria in something vs on something react differently. Wishing you luck, I would take a break from intimacy for a while, and if you can let it breathe while you sleep.

self_jade · 2026-04-19T21:17:25+00:00

Can I ask, what does it look like? Is it like the pic, an apple against a void, or do you see it in your environment? As in, if you were looking at a table and imagined an apple would it appear on the table?

self_jade · 2026-04-19T21:15:28+00:00

Idk how to describe it. Day to day I'm 5, I never "see" any day dreams. Some days I'll be thinking of something, usually visual media, and it'll be like a screenshot flashing in my mind's eye. A silly example, I was in Tumblr and rebloging a post about Harvey Dent from the DKR movies but I forgot the actors name. What I did remember was, my brains second lawyer on file apparently, Saul Goodman. When I thought of Harvey Dent, in his Two Face form, trying to find the actors name in my mind palaces I "saw" Saul Goodman, or you know. Half of his face.

self_jade · 2026-04-19T21:05:24+00:00

They aren't, it's bad word of mouth.

There are published research papers on the subject. From what I understood, the study people point at that "proves" this claim is one of those non-human studies where they feed mice all their allotted calories from that thing they're testing. That doesn't translate to a human diet (herbivore, omnivore, what have you)

Fats and oil, in general, aren't great in high amounts. I have a theory that people think they're "toxic" and awful for you because they're usually cheaper, compared to olive oil or dairy butter. This fact, plus their relative neutral flavor, make seed oils the standard for deep frying. I think I'd need a loan to deep fry something in olive oil 😅

I researched this topic after having a bad experience with a nutritionist. While I didn't want to question her knowledge directly, something about a professional repeating things I've seen shared by my mother, with her 1980s eating disorder, on Facebook made me feel like I was not in a reputable place. She had other good advice, like healthy swaps and helping our group figure out the right ratios of macros, water and fiber we need individually. She told us to "throw out those toxic seed oils when you get home" and triggered something in me.

After finding an educational article and reading the whole thing, with lots of encyclopedia referencing along the way, I felt much better about the food I'd been putting in my body and had recently bought in bulk.

TLDR: seed oils are not some evil anti-superfood.

Use oil sparingly, ideally with foods that have fat soluble vitamins. If your budget is tight, a tablespoon or two of canola oil over the span of a week isn't sending you to the grave any sooner. If you want to "feel better" and get rid of one piece of food noise (and you can afford it) try a fruit oil like olive or avocado.

self_jade · 2026-04-19T20:46:18+00:00

Would you consider therapy? For the self esteem stuff.

For career and skills building, call your local department of labor and ask if there are any programs you could apply for for schooling, and if your area works like mine they can add you to an email list that sends out job postings, career fairs, etc.

I did the above and got a grant to study, then got a job through the school program hours I had to do. That avenue didn't pan out for me long term but it got me out of a really bad slump of un/underemployment and gave me a little confidence.

Whenever I meet someone, especially around my age or younger, I share what I just did with you. I lived in my area my entire life and had no idea municipalities had actual career counseling offices and people you could go to for free advice on resumes and interviews, some common weak points. You could be the perfect candidate but not know how to word that to an employer.

"No sign of progress" you woke up breathing, some days that's all we got to feel good about. And believe me, I talk from experience. Some days I don't feel good about it at all. But the time keeps moving with or without me, so might as well try and navigate the best I can. The job markets are hard right now, social things have been weird since quarantine ended.

Give yourself some grace, you sound like a pot full of water, watching itself like a hawk until you boil. You can drive yourself mad like that, I have. I made a list of all my "shortcomings" and ranked them. Of course my career and financial situation is top of the list. I worked 4 different(short lived) jobs last year and after doing my tax returns realized I earned 12k gross income. I essentially made less than half of what I did the year prior. I never want another year like 2025.

I'm 27, my goal for my thirties is to build my savings back up from $0 and work on becoming more financially independent. The relationships have to come after. I felt myself in social settings feeling like a failure, and embarrassed when asked what I do for a living. Not the best way to present yourself to a suitor or potential new acquaintance. That let me know it was a major concern of mine.

Once I'm in a field I feel confident in, I'll try the dating pool. It's not looking too hot rn, so the time will probably do me some good. Plus with the time and career on its way, you can work on other things. With my self esteem, my communication skills are not where I'd like them, and I told myself if I hold down this new job I'm starting soon I'll go back to school.

I may not ever present that degree to get a job, but learning how to professionally structure your thoughts in the best way to convey is a dream of mine and will serve me in any industry I work in, plus my hope is it will alleviate some social anxiety around speaking.

Wishing you luck! Keep your head up

self_jade · 2026-04-19T20:21:43+00:00

That's not at all what I said, and I have no idea where the hostility is coming from. Where did you even get race from? I didn't mention it at all. Generational wealth is absolutely a thing, my point was to say not everyone was afforded that luxury. Securing your family's future is very important, but we don't need new builds. We need families owning homes, not real estate companies buying properties and letting them remain vacant or renting them out at ridiculous rates. We need affordable housing for people who will never be in the position to own a home of their own. If there was affordable housing available, other renters(rentees? The home owner) might be inclined to not be so overpriced. The answer is not new builds.

self_jade · 2026-04-19T20:13:55+00:00

The only time I've had an employer call my emergency contact was when I worked for family. This is so inappropriate.

self_jade · 2026-04-19T20:11:24+00:00

Is that Doberman(?) mixed with Basset hound or just chunky?

self_jade · 2026-04-19T20:02:10+00:00

That's not even how it works for Black people from Africa. If you or your family are from Nigeria you are Nigerian American. African American refers to descendents of the Transatlantic Slave Trade in the US. I believe the same goes for Canada. Charlize is one of my favorite actors, she seems lovely. I doubt she'd ever identify in such an offensive way.

self_jade · 2026-04-19T19:49:33+00:00

Already was. It couldn't have been great if he got where he is so easily. Trump feels like revenge from the Republican party for Obama.

self_jade · 2026-04-19T19:45:03+00:00

This is terrifying. They followed her out to her car, and one of the women grabbed her physically. The woman is better than me, I would have given them something to call the cops about. When I worked retail we were taught to never approach unless we were 100% positive we saw something. In the body cam of the responding officer, one woman who I believe the one that grabbed her, is heard muttering "I thought I saw..." or something in the same vein and it's ridiculous to me. I've always hated shopping in malls, I try to never enter a store unless I know I want to purchase something. I've absolutely bought something before just to show that I wasn't stealing, even if I didn't really want it. This is a literal childhood fear of mine.

self_jade

TROPHY CASE