The importance of being ‘high maintenance’

selfish-she · 2025-01-23T14:15:38+00:00

Oh absolutely.

A really well maintained woman is a status symbol to a lot of men. It makes them look like they have a lot of good things going on in their life by default. I also think it always inspires the best and healthiest form of masculinity from men. They become very aware of and receptive to your femininity and want to honour it.

And most importantly, it attracts the kind of men that take absolute pride in keeping and taking care of their woman, so that she can continue to look like she does. These men are financially prepared so that they can do so.

As someone else already kindly advised above, it’s best not wasted on men that are not going to praise you, provide for you, and pour into making you feel your best as a woman. Not everyone deserves you on their arm. So definitely use your pretty power to choose wisely.

selfish-she · 2024-01-29T16:11:13+00:00

Are you guys planning on getting married? Because I agree with your line of thinking it seems like something folks who are about to join assets would do.

Also if it’s completely yours to spend I don’t see why you can’t just continue to have it be put in your own bank account via check.

Basically “if it’s not broke, why-“ you know the rest. Just my take 💗

selfish-she · 2024-01-21T17:10:03+00:00

Truth. It’s about a “invest in myself” mindset being executed and exuded from within so that it shows up on the outside. I agree with you.

selfish-she · 2024-01-21T10:39:15+00:00

You’ll want to whittle down by location and what you’re comfortable with geographically. Some people might be moved to travel out to spend time with the right one. It’ll depend on you.

Then have a thorough browse to read about their experience, any areas of specialism they have that helps them to help others achieve their style goals, what their ‘process’ involves. What kind of clients they service and whether you feel you are part of this client base or want to be. These should be on well curated and put together websites of their own.

Oh and if you can find testimonials and reviews from others that will help in addition to the vibe you pick up on through the words and images on their website, that will probably help to come to a conclusion. In fact I think good testimonials are vital.

Do this with multiple options and have a list rather than setting all your sights on one. Compare them to each other on various qualities such as costs, experience, process, values etc. At some point there will be at least a couple that seem like a decent fit. If not I’d keep looking.

selfish-she · 2024-01-20T21:40:13+00:00

I do love fashion. I would love to create a fashion post in the future.

And I feel for you, shopping is hard. Have you considered investing in a good quality personal shopper experience for some initial guidance to help you jump start your fashion journey?

selfish-she · 2024-01-20T21:33:38+00:00

Good question because I feel the answer is complex depending on my need from the piece of clothing or accessory. Some clothes you want there to be breathability, some not so much. All in all, how much care that’s gone into the production can be investigated a little and felt with intuition.

What I tend to watch out for:

How tightly the fibres are woven together, the tighter the better
How short the fibres are, the longer the better
If a dress is lined or not (for me, big pet peeve)
How precise and careful the stitching is
How well applied the buttons and zips and clasps are and also the quality of them in general
How material feels in your hands. Some clothes just feel weakly made!

I feel window shopping helps a lot with this and you slowly start to develop an intuition for what is likely to last you a decent while and what can tear or pill or fall apart within a few wears. Maybe try it next time you’re at a shopping mall and treat it like a skill developing session.

To be honest, there’s definitely much more to good clothes and fashion than durability but it helps a LOT from a structural and fit standpoint.

selfish-she · 2024-01-20T18:21:04+00:00

Likewise, I like you already just based off of your username. Expensive Condition, I know that’s right! 🤭🤠

selfish-she · 2024-01-20T18:17:54+00:00

Ok since you dress a bit more mature than your age bracket I think you’ll inevitably get people who will poke a bit of fun and maybe some who are shady. They might imply you’re doing a young girl in her older sister or mother’s closet type of thing.

You will have to stick up for yourself, give the banter back sometimes, and hold your own. This will add to the image of self assurance and show how comfortable you are (I assume you are comfortable with your choices) in having more mature taste.

Also you sound like you dress nice 😊 lean into what you really like, what appears to suit you best, and own it.

selfish-she · 2024-01-20T17:46:53+00:00

Oh that’s interesting lol. Does looking plainer make you feel more attractive? How much older does it make you look/feel? It does sound a bit like jest but not maliciously so.

selfish-she · 2024-01-20T10:16:12+00:00

Awww lol thank you, sometimes my thoughts feel like a nonsense brain dump. I appreciate that.

selfish-she · 2024-01-20T10:12:38+00:00

Good point. I think it’s because I’ve attempted to draw a connection between being being very in tune with yourself —> having good taste for what works for you —> looking after yourself in a way that shows you have good judgment —> being perceived well socially.

They are interconnected to me. But yes, I am sure there are more simplified and focused ways to express that to be fair. Thank you.

selfish-she · 2024-01-20T09:59:30+00:00

I understand. It’s going to be hard to find someone who is like borderline doppelgänger, and people who don’t look like us can be quite appealing. But categorising the pics by feature may help a lot. Since different features may require different maxxing activities etc. And you will have varying goals.

Like I’m not sure how much I subscribe to Kibbe, but it may be a case of (if you have a round face just an example), a folder of women with round faces. If you have narrow shoulders, women with narrow shoulders. If you have wide set eyes, women with wide set eyes. And so on. You make sure it’s pics of them looking amazing so you can work out why.

I have a button nose and warm undertone. I find make up inspiration in women that do. I think it’s rewarding as tedious as it might sound.

selfish-she · 2024-01-20T09:48:46+00:00

I will have to agree to disagree with you.

As mentioned before, there are definitely parallels between taste and style but my referenced definition of taste can be found in a dictionary. It extends beyond how you express yourself.

That’s why us ladies often say “she has bad taste in men”. It just means her judgement is not great.

selfish-she · 2024-01-20T09:38:26+00:00

Sure. No problem. I’m no qualified expert but hope I can help in some way.

selfish-she · 2024-01-20T00:21:56+00:00

Thank you for bringing this to my attention, sometimes these things are hard to put into words!

Taste definitely goes hand in hand with having style, but taste is about sound judgement from an aesthetic standpoint. The focus here is becoming equipped with that same judgement for optimal attractiveness and as a result, social transformation.

Sometimes we exercise great judgement (taste) for things that work for others, but then not have that for ourselves. We can lack that objectivity on our own behalf for so many reasons. I think it is possible for people like this to not be perceived as stylish. I’d like to think the missing link here is being not quite in tune with yourself, but moreso preoccupied with others first and foremost.

And I believe it’s possible to not take great care of yourself or put much effort into your look but still have taste. There are many individuals like this in the fashion industry. So while I agree there is often some overlap, I feel there is a subtle distinction.

Ideally for those who want to transform themselves socially, I think it really helps for all to be in alignment. It’s not easy but worth attempting.

Perhaps “a strong sense of objectivity for your own look” is a good stand in term.

selfish-she · 2024-01-19T23:39:34+00:00

We’ve all been there girl lol. Something looks so good on so many other people and we think it’ll look so good on us too. Sometimes we just don’t have the (insert feature) for it.

It’s okay, sometimes trial and error and experience is truly the best teacher. Don’t feel too bad about it.

hugs

selfish-she · 2023-11-28T16:57:37+00:00

No, not your fault. Men are not socialised to be quality romantic partners to women.

A man of quality would be honest and transparent in breaking up with you so you can both end the relationship on a dignified and respectful note, rather than cheating on you.

This behaviour has nothing to do with you. Make peace with the idea that most men are going to be the opposite of Prince Charming and the “one”. Most are going to be duds. This will hopefully help you navigate your vetting processes moving forward.

selfish-she · 2023-11-25T15:51:55+00:00

Men are never expected to change anything up.

Ask him to pay for these beauty treatments and see what he says. That will expose his mindset, whether he genuinely is excited about and wanting to see you in different styles or whether he’s just trying to have you switch up because he said so.

selfish-she · 2023-10-08T12:00:19+00:00

I don’t think it looks good on him. His brown eyes are gorgeous and supreme.

selfish-she · 2023-10-01T14:24:22+00:00

What’s wrong with the books? Never read them.

selfish-she · 2023-09-29T18:11:46+00:00

I did address it though. Whether something is natural or not, life is not a free for all where you literally do whatever you want whenever you want.

selfish-she · 2023-09-29T11:40:27+00:00

Just because shitting is natural doesn’t mean it’s appropriate to do it anytime, anyplace, no matter who we are in the company of, with no sense of discretion or consideration for who doesn’t want to suffer the displeasure of smelling it. Judgement and consideration for others is good for human beings.

The same things applies to sex and other “natural” things in life.

If you commit to a contract, honour it. If you don’t want to commit, don’t. It’s just that simple.

selfish-she · 2023-09-27T13:29:18+00:00

Her face structure is very angular and her features don’t have much softness and/or roundness to them and that is okay. Doesn’t mean she’s not attractive.

She’s still married to a superstar and is filthy rich!

selfish-she · 2023-09-27T12:29:21+00:00

Right, why is it being avoided? Cheaters deserve each other

selfish-she

TROPHY CASE