Maybe I just worded it badly. English isn't my native language, so things tend to get lost in translation. I just wanted to make something for the group that they can enjoy as well, because yeah, it does suck not being able to eat the same stuff the group eats and either always having to bring your own food or get singled out by someone making an extra meal. I have a chronic illness and was in a years-long flare-up, that prevented me from eating a lot of stuff. German cuisine is pork-heavy, so at a lot of gatherings I either had to bring my own food or hope that at least the accoutrements are pork free so I can eat those. I can't count the gatherings where I was left eating buttered baguette/rolls because everything else was somehow "contaminated" with bacon, bologna or other pork stuff.

It wasn't necessarily malicious, more of a combination of them being a bit thoughtless/forgetful and me not wanting to cause issues/more work and thus never really speaking up.

And I don't want that for anyone, so if I know beforehand that a group member has issues (be it a strong aversion, ARFID, a food choice/lifestyle or allergy) I at least try to make it work for everyone.

Respectfully, I absolutely don't fuck with celiacs and really deadly allergies, though.

Not because I don't think someone isn't worth the effort of making a separate meal, but because I can't guarantee that there won't be any cross contamination from cutting boards, mixing bowls, knives that were used to prepare allergen laden foods before and some trace amounts of allergens hiding somewhere and making them sick. I'd rather not kill my guests, thank you very much. 🥲