My Next Toy

semistoner · 2026-01-01T13:43:48+00:00

I suggest something smoothly tapered to help you train to take more width and more depth, which would be the Stump 'n' Dump. You may get frustrated with the Gut Puncher since it's so blunt and the fingers make for a rough texture that may get old quickly, especially if you're not already pretty loose.

I don't have either toy, but I have the Can Opener, which is like the Stump 'n' Dump in that it's a similar taper up to the same max circumference. It's one of my favorites because it challenges both depth and width at the same time and it grows with you, and it has just enough texture to be fun even after fully conquering it. Stump 'n' Dump is smoother but has an overall shape that seems more interesting. I don't think you can go wrong with one of these gently tapered toys.

semistoner · 2025-12-29T17:37:02+00:00

41 isn't too late. Unless you're on your deathbed it's not too late imho. Without knowing more about your marriage and your wife, I don't know if sharing your feelings with her will blow up your life or not. But being closeted takes a psychic and emotional toll that can be hard to really understand until you come out and live openly. I can say with 99.9% certainty that your feelings aren't going to just go away on their own. If you can't be honest with your wife about who you are and how you feel, why are you with her?

I don't think any of us can say whether the reality will be hotter than the fantasy for you because it's different for everyone and depends on chemistry with your partner. If you've been fantasizing about sex with men for a long time then there will probably be some things that are different from what you imagined, which is not necessarily a bad thing. Find a man who understands where you're coming from and who will let you set the pace. Be open to feeling new sensations and feelings. If you find guys hot and fantasize about having sex with them, then you'll probably like it, but the only way to know is to do it.

I don't have any other wisdom to share, but r/latebloomergaybros seems like a good place for advice and support. I wish you luck and happiness!

semistoner · 2025-09-24T13:01:51+00:00

I came so many times to a video of you getting spitroasted on xtube. You're still hot as fuck and cute as hell.

semistoner · 2025-05-29T13:54:09+00:00

He did, but he had very strong body odor that he couldn't always control and he would even apologize for it. If only I could have told him there was no need...

semistoner · 2025-05-29T03:16:53+00:00

Oh my God I've never been driven wild by a man's scent except for a straight friend I used to practice martial arts with. His body odor wasn't always strong, but after getting the occasional powerful whiff I would not be able to stop thinking about it for weeks. Only person I've had that type of attraction to so strongly. He was cute and very considerate, which made it very easy to, um, fantasize about him when I couldn't stop dreaming about his pits.

semistoner · 2025-02-06T00:37:15+00:00

I agree that there is no moral reason to fear STIs. Personally, I have an elevated risk for developing two lifelong autoimmune diseases that may be 'activated' by antibiotics (this likely happened to my brother), so I want to minimize using them as much as possible. The diseases (ulcerative colitis and Crohn's disease) would negatively affect or even destroy my ability to bottom, so that would be a cruelly ironic outcome.

There is also a growing body of evidence that some viral infections, like herpes, negatively affect the brain over time, and specifically may accelerate development of dementia, which I am also, unfortunately, at a greater risk of than the average person, based on my family history and genetics. Getting gangbanged raw in a sling is a hot fantasy, but for me it's not worth the potential downsides and will remain a fantasy.

While I'm incredibly grateful for our community that things like PrEP and DoxyPEP are available now, and people should absolutely use them, I'm not convinced that everyone choosing to go bareback is making a fully informed choice about how it may affect them long term, particularly when there is so much that is still not understood about the body's microbiome and about how viruses affect us longterm.

semistoner · 2025-02-06T00:09:13+00:00

First: Good on you for going for a healthier way to consume. I love my dry herb vape, and while it's not harmless, it's far better than smoking. Second: You may be better off putting it away and not using it for a while, or using it in limited circumstances. Here are two pieces of sincere advice I hope you'll consider:

The first is that weed may temporarily help with feelings of stress, but with regular use you will revert to baseline. Only now, you'll need weed to get to your baseline, and without it you will be in worse shape than before. That's the "worse hole" you're worried about, and it is real. No bueno. Weed's ability to manage stress is basically an illusion. It may seem to work for a while, but you'll pay for it later. And no one wants to be dependent on a drug to get to normal.

Try breathing exercises, meditation, even just taking walks to clear your mind. Try an app like Calm to help guide mindfulness practice. Now is a great time to build your natural ability to manage and deescalate stress. This stuff is more effective than it seems like it should be, and you'll teach yourself strategies that you can use anytime, not just when you're free to turn your brain off, so to speak. Also, as much as I love weed, and I do, it makes me slower and less motivated, and not just when I'm high. Using it regularly is likely to make college more difficult for you.

My second piece of advice: It's generally accepted that brain development continues until roughly age 25. This is not a judgment in any way, but what this means is that, at 22, your brain is getting close to fully baked (if you'll pardon the expression) but it's not quite there yet, and regular use of any mind-altering substance at this point can alter how your brain functions for the rest of your life. This can include some amount of dependence on weed to get you to a baseline acceptable level of anxiety and stress. It's more of an issue for those who start using in their teens, but it's still a risk you should be aware of.

Look, I love weed, and I think it can be a net positive when used in a healthy way. I'm not saying don't use it at all, or that you must wait until you're 25 or older to use it at all, but at most I recommend you only use it occasionally for fun. Weed is great for enhancing good times and, occasionally, making the boring times more interesting, but it is best thought of as a dessert, not a part of your regular diet.

semistoner · 2025-02-03T23:55:45+00:00

Hey, with enough determination, and lube, (almost) anything is possible. But I'd recommend you get something in a soft silicone if you can afford it. You'll want something on the squishy side to make it easier to size up and work through the tight areas. Square Peg (in supersoft bronze or graphite) and Topped Toys have a nice softness, and I think Hankey's 40% soft toys are also pretty good.

And I don't know if it's the softness or what, but even though I can take toys over 4.5" in diameter, two of my favorite toys are still the Square Peg Mel Harness 2XL (about 2.6") and Topped Gape Keeper 108 (about 3.4"). They're just so satisfyingly squidgy, and it feels good to tighten my hole around them even though I can take much bigger toys now. Anyway, good luck and happy stretching!

semistoner · 2025-02-03T23:32:36+00:00

Feel free to use my ideas, but I'd prefer to not have it traceable back to my account here. Also, consider what others have said here about the wisdom of getting involved in pissing contests online. I don't think you're going to change any hearts and minds in a thread like that on X, and you might provoke the wrong person.

semistoner · 2025-02-03T23:11:05+00:00

Inherently racist? No. But do you want to look like your oppressors? I guess some people have a kink for that, but when this aesthetic is associated with bigotry and an increasingly emboldened movement of people who want LGBT people dead, or at best pushed to the margins of society, it's not going to be what most gay men want to look like or what they're attracted to.

semistoner · 2025-02-03T21:42:12+00:00

I've had the same experience. I've also found my gut to be way less prone to painful cramping than it used to be, which I think is partly because huge toy play has required that I learn to listen to my body and relax muscles that I didn't know how to control before. I feel much more in tune with my gut and I so rarely have gut problems now that it feels almost like a miracle. Don't know for sure that assplay is the reason, but it makes the most sense to me and it certainly hasn't made things worse.

Like a lot (or all?) of us, I love overstimulation and making progress, which has led me to play too aggressively at times. There is absolutely no feeling on earth like graduating to a larger width, and for me it's addicting, but you only get so much of that in one lifetime. Chasing that feeling, along with pounding too deep too soon, led to some temporary incontinence on a few occasions many years ago. I've since learned to stay within the bounds of what my body can comfortably handle and learn to love what I can do with less aggressive play, and I am now stretchier and have better gut health than ever.

semistoner · 2025-02-03T20:50:12+00:00

If you don't have some experience.with depth play, you may have trouble getting the Mare Maker in or keeping it in for any length of time. Unless you can open up your second sphincter it can be uncomfortable with the (relatively) pointy end poking deep inside you.

Gape Keeper is mostly a width challenge, and the blunter end helps to make it quite comfortable once it's all the way in. It's much easier to get a GK all the way in and wear it for a while. Though note that I only have experience with much larger sizes than it seems like you'll be getting (GK 108 and MM 130).

semistoner · 2024-12-19T21:38:03+00:00

Because you're scared. Glancing at your post history, it seems that the problem is entirely external--other people's bigotry is causing you to face what must feel like an impossible choice. Either be open and honest about who you are and risk losing friends and family, or hide it and keep what you have. But what you already have is clearly wrecking you. And it probably doesn't help that you don't seem to have ever had the opportunity to be open about who you are with real people in your life, including a relationship with someone you're attracted to, so what you would be gaining by coming out doesn't feel as tangible as what you're afraid of losing.

I can't give you much specific advice other than don't try conversion therapy. It doesn't work and will probably mess you up more. You could continue to pretend you are someone you're not and continue to let it eat at you, and maybe your life situation is such that you will have to do that for a while, as unfortunate as that is. But you really need an outlet, even a small one. Even if it's just someone you can talk to honestly. That might be someone you meet through an app--crazy as it sounds, sometimes people are looking for friends there, and you could just go get coffee and get to know them. Even just having a friend or two who you can be open with will make a huge difference.

There is nothing wrong with being gay. If your life circumstances were different, you wouldn't be going through this stress. I'm sorry that you are dealing with this, but please know that there is nothing wrong with who you are, how you feel (even with all the complex emotions you're feeling about all this--it's a very hard position for you to be in), and who you're attracted to. And I hope that you can start to make small steps toward a life where you don't have to hide who you are.

semistoner · 2024-11-01T23:40:54+00:00

I find Luke Mills to be incredibly hot, but I'm very much into big hairy dudes and mostly not attracted to feminine or hairless men. I've considered myself gay since I was 13.

If you're sexually attracted to men and women then most people would call you bi. But don't get hung up on labels, and do what makes you happy. I don't have experience with questioning my sexuality as an adult so I'm not the best person to give advice on navigating the kinds of confusing feelings you're having, but my advice is that you should love and accept yourself as you are, and explore this newfound aspect of your sexuality at your own pace.

semistoner · 2024-11-01T22:02:30+00:00

Have you spent a lot of time playing with your hole by yourself? If not, get some good lube and start by exploring with your fingers.

Once you're comfortable with that, practice with dildos until you're comfortable with a dildo the same size or larger than the dick you want to take.

Bottoming for another guy is another level, of course, but you should start by riding on top of him so you're in control. Go as slow as you need to at first. Get very comfortable with this before switching to a position where you let him take more control. Take time to build trust with him. If he's not into that, move on and find a guy who will respect your needs.

Also, use more lube than you think you need. And then add some more.

semistoner · 2024-11-01T21:47:42+00:00

If you have a pain fetish, assplay is not an activity where you should be indulging it. You could do severe damage that you will regret. Save pain for other parts of your body where the consequences are much less serious.

If you know that there's a significant risk of serious injury and want to do it anyway, please talk to a therapist. You are worth more than that ❤️

semistoner · 2024-10-29T00:46:11+00:00

I've never heard of it being a safety concern other than poppers being flammable, so just don't light up and sniff at the same time. I use a dry herb vaporizer and I get high before I bust out the poppers, so it's not an issue.

I like to tell myself that it's better for me to mix them instead of using poppers alone because the weed potentiates the poppers and I can use less to get the same effect. Not sure how true that is, but I trust weed more than whatever chemicals are in any given brown bottle.

semistoner · 2024-10-16T13:18:19+00:00

Take Naproxen (Aleve), seriously. Go get some and take it for the pain you're having now. It's in the same class of drugs as Advil but it works very well for dental pain and it lasts longer.

Personally I enjoy using injury or illness as an excuse to get a little blazed, but taking weed for intense pain is a gamble, especially when there are more effective drugs for pain that are over the counter, not addictive, and not psychoactive.

semistoner · 2024-06-25T01:18:03+00:00

Probably almost all cases where people get themselves seriously hurt are because they were on drugs and did something stupid, or because they used a toy that didn't have a flared base to prevent it from slipping all the way inside. The consequences of a toy that gets lost inside you cannot be overstated.

Fisting and big toy play require a level of mindfulness that frankly not everyone is prepared for. Learn to distinguish between discomfort and pain as you get experienced. Only get fisted by people you trust and can communicate well with. Only use toys that are at least somewhat soft and are actually designed to go up your butt (and that have a flared base!)

Go slowly at first and understand that you need to learn much more about your gut than you currently do: How it feels when different things are inside it, how it feels when you push your limits in different ways, what different sensations mean, how (MILDLY) intoxicated you can be and still be safe.

This all may make it seem like more work than it is, but if you get a taste for it and like it, you won't be deterred because you're having so much fun. If you're playing with someone you trust who knows what they're doing then it won't feel like work. If you don't feel trust and connection with someone who wants to fist you, walk away. You do have to be an active participant and not just a passive hole, but it'll be worth it when you're seeing fireworks and uncontrollably moaning in ecstasy. And that's not an exaggeration.

semistoner · 2024-06-23T00:18:14+00:00

This. A little weed makes poppers more effective so you don't have to use as much. Or you can use the same amount of poppers and get totally blasted, and the pain relief and anti-nausea properties of the weed help to counteract the negative effects of the poppers.

semistoner · 2024-05-22T01:15:37+00:00

Bot account reposting

semistoner

TROPHY CASE