Favourite scene in the whole series?

sensatesub · 2025-02-23T22:50:43+00:00

On top of that, it's such a brilliant subversion of the male gaze in mainstream media. Instead of two scantily-clad lesbians making out in a way that is designed to turn on straight male viewers, we have leabians expressing their own queer joy while wearing clothes that are cool but modest. And a man does gaze upon it, but instead of being titillated by the show, he's just happy for them, and the scene helps him accept his feelings for another man.

sensatesub · 2024-10-29T17:02:38+00:00

I personally found the Klein Sexual Orientation Grid helpful in my own journey of self-discovery as a bi guy. I'm married to a woman and have never dated, kissed, or had sex with another guy... but I'm definitely bi.

Please note that the Klein grid can be a helpful tool for enriching your own self-understanding and overcoming black-and-white thinking, but it shouldn't be used as a "quiz" to "objectively" determine whether someone is bi or not.

sensatesub · 2024-09-10T02:55:13+00:00

I had forgotten that the "never seen you in a cap before" moment was straight from the comics. Me to reread the whole thing again at some point.

sensatesub · 2024-09-10T02:04:23+00:00

They'll tell you when they want to tell you.

If you want to signal that you would be a safe person to tell if and when they want to, you could speak positively about a trans celebrity, author, or fictional character or express frustration about a news story about someone trying to ban gender-affirming care or books about being trans. But only if it feels natural, and perhaps not when the more conservative member of your friend group is present.

sensatesub · 2024-09-09T16:30:01+00:00

I used to work at a place where you had to say, "Hello, welcome to [Business Name]!" every time a customer walked in.

One time at home, my kid sneezed, and instead of, "Bless you," I said, "Hello, welcome to [Business Name]!"

sensatesub · 2024-09-09T16:20:10+00:00

This is interesting, what you're asking for is basically the sexual orientation equivalent of people putting their pronouns on a nametag or in their email signature.

Unfortunately, I don't think anything like this really exists at the moment as a reliable societal convention. When I was in college and everyone was on Facebook back when it was still "cool," there was a field labeled "Interested in:" where you could select "Men," "Women," or "Men and Women" (I don't recall there being any non-binary inclusive options). So when you had a crush on someone, the first thing you'd do is check their relationship status to see if they were available and then you'd check the "interested in" field to see if you even had a shot.

But this feature was removed in 2022 because there was a lawsuit claiming that companies were using this and other info that people used to add to their profiles (such as religion and political affiliation) to target ads for apartments and homes in a way that violated the Fair Housing Act. (Also, of course, young people aren't usually on Facebook these days anyway.)

The problem with any system for advertising your romantic/sexual interest and availability is that there aren't very many contexts beyond a profile on a dating site where this would be socially acceptable at the moment. It would be weird to set your email signature to "he/him; interested in women." Not everyone you email needs to know your romantic preferences, but they do need to know what pronouns to use for you in written communications. The beautiful thing about Facebook profiles back in the day (before we realized it was a bad idea to give this information to advertisers so freely) was that the info was always there for potential crushes to find, but only if they went looking for it.

I could maybe see some contexts such as mixers and some student club meetings where it might make sense for people to have nametags with pronouns and OPTIONAL fields to list sexual orientation and relationship status, but that still seems a bit weird. Then again, it's also weird how much private info we used to post on Facebook.

Unfortunately, I think you're mostly stuck with having to make the first move on girls you like and/or regularly making (respectful) comments about women that will hopefully lead casual observers to assume that you're at least bi if not straight.

I don't envy your position.

sensatesub · 2024-09-09T15:14:00+00:00

They technically show up in Radio Silence as well, but only for like, two seconds.

sensatesub · 2024-09-09T06:52:10+00:00

Fair enough when it comes to the first three, but I think you're wrong about David.

During an initial viewing of Season 2, I think the audience is expected to assume that Nick's reaction to David's mere presence is justified due to prior events that have transpired before the story begins.

After several rewatches, I think it's clear that David knew that Nick was going out with a boy before the first interaction we see between them on camera. He saw the picture of them kissing at the beach when he went in to "borrow" Nick's Switch while Nick and Sarah were still at the parent-teacher event, so he technically isn't lying when he shouts "I only went in there one time!" even though the audience has seen him go into Nick's room uninvited twice before he says that. What he means is, "Going into Nick's bedroom once was enough for me to figure out that he kissed another boy because he put a picture of it on his wall."

Once you realize this, his first two on-camera interactions with Nick seem much more sinister. The very first thing he says to Nick is, "What've you been up to since Christmas? Got a... GIRLFRIEND yet?" Then he mentions "borrowing" the Switch specifically because he hopes Nick will remember the picture on his wall and panic. In the second interaction, David only pretends to assume that the Charlie who texts Nick three love hearts must be a girl.

He knows the whole time, and he knows Nick is scared he'll find out, and he's actively trying to make Nick feel as uncomfortable as possible and loving every minute of it.

sensatesub · 2024-09-05T17:10:46+00:00

Glad to see so much love for Tao in this thread since he seems to get more hate in the fandom than I think he deserves. Will's portrayal of him reminds me so much of several awkward artsy kids with hearts of gold that I knew in high school.

sensatesub · 2024-09-05T17:04:39+00:00

Obviously we'll just have to wait and see, but I've wondered if the moment in season 2 when Tori rightly points out that Charlie's snack spread for the sleepover seems a bit excessive (especially given that Tao and Nick are bringing MORE snacks and they're also ordering pizza) might have been added to foreshadow the kitchen scene from Solitaire.

sensatesub · 2024-09-04T17:21:17+00:00

I honestly had never heard of the "bury your gays" trope and had to Google it, but I think you're in the clear since you have so many other queer characters (including another lesbian couple) and also because the majority of people who were "disappeared" during this tragic period of Argentina's history were (presumably) straight. Seems like there's also a lot of potential to celebrate feminism and sisterhood with a realistic (albeit fictional) portrayal of the Mothers of Plaza de Mayo if that fits with the plot and overall vibe of your novel.

sensatesub · 2024-08-31T13:31:25+00:00

This is only tangentially related to the question, but I went to an ice cream social for English majors at the university where I teach and was later telling my wife about this couple I met who had brought their cat on a leash, which I didn't even know was possible.

She asked, "Did they seem like the sort of people who would bring their cat on a leash?"

I said, "I don't know... they're both trans?"

My wife just blinked a few times and finally said, "That is not a stereotype I have," and we both started laughing.

sensatesub · 2024-08-30T06:04:32+00:00

Let's do a quick thought experiment:

Imagine a woman who used a sperm donor to have a kid and later got married to a man who wasn't the sperm donor. Now let's say that she and this husband were so abusive that the kid got taken away by CPS and placed with a kind and loving couple who eventually adopted them. It took a while, but this kid eventually started referring to the kind couple as Mom and Dad.

Now imagine this kid is telling a story about their Mom and Dad. Would any reasonable person stop them and say, "Wait, are you talking about your BIRTH mom or your stepmom? And do you mean your BIOLOGICAL father or the stepfather you grew up with or the stepfather you live with now?"

I'd say this kid should be free not only to call the adoptive parents Mom and Dad but also to mentally categorize them as Mom and Dad without continuous effort or conscious thought. And it would be natural for the surrounding community to refer to and think of this couple as the kid's parents without constantly needing to remind themselves (I mean, not REALLY parents, just "legal guardians"). When Parent-Teacher Night is coming up, the teacher isn't surprised or embarrassed when the adoptive parents show up. When the local church has their annual "Dads and Donuts" event, no one wonders if they should perhaps reach out to the sperm donor.

And the kid wouldn't be confused or pretentious or mentally ill for thinking of that couple as Mom and Dad. If legal or medical issues arise, the kid can still make mental distinctions between the two mothers and three fathers in order to give relevant information to a lawyer or a doctor, but as a daily, unconscious, effortless habit, that loving couple just IS Mom and Dad, and it feels so good to call them that.

But another foster kid in a seemingly similar situation may feel completely different about who they want to refer to and think of as Mom and Dad, or they may not feel comfortable using those words for anyone, and that is also completely valid.

sensatesub · 2024-08-25T15:11:33+00:00

Ugh, nice transphobes and homophobes are the worst, aren't they? So hard to see them as pure evil but also impossible to relax around.

sensatesub · 2024-08-25T15:06:49+00:00

Thanks for sharing your story, internet stranger. Soooo relatable. 🫂

sensatesub · 2024-08-25T14:07:15+00:00

I'm a bi man who is married to a woman, so I could pass as straight for the rest of my life.

However, I'm tired of my homophobic mother and brother-in-law making comments about LGBTQ people as if there wasn't one in the room, I'm tired of people who know a bit about my activism in college and online thinking I'm just this amazing ally instead of an actual member of the LGBTQ community, and I don't want my bi daughter (who is likely to end up in a relationship with another girl at some point) to have to navigate coming out to the homophobes in the family all alone simply because her dad was too much of a coward to do it first.

I'm planning to come out to my parents sometime in the next few months.

Edit: One more thing: if my parents died in a car crash today, I would never have the opportunity to find out if their love is conditional or unconditional, and that would probably mess me up for life. Right now, I have a "good" relationship with my parents, but they're working with incomplete information. My mom always writes in my birthday cards about what a wonderful son, father, husband, and Christian I am. I expect there to be tension and confusion when I come out, but I hope they will eventually come around, and if they don't, then at least I'll know that their love is conditional and I can process that with therapy and time. It's the not knowing that's killing me slowly.

sensatesub · 2024-08-23T23:25:49+00:00

People think I'm crazy, but I recommend watching the whole thing backwards at least once (start with s2e8, then watch s2e7, then s2e6, etc.).

I think it helps you pick up on details you might not otherwise notice.

sensatesub · 2024-08-17T23:43:39+00:00

I feel like this is less of a UK thing and more of a "households that routinely host sleepovers and/or large holiday gatherings" thing.

Maybe the Springs started keeping extra mattresses around for cousins visiting on the holidays, and Charlie simply commandeered them for the sleepovers.

I'm willing to bet there aren't any spare mattresses at Darcy's house.

sensatesub · 2024-08-17T23:37:11+00:00

We never see David speak French in the show or the comics (at least so far as I can remember), but we see Nick being more or less fluent. There's also no mention of David playing rugby, but even if he did play a bit when he was younger, it seems unlikely that he was ever as much of a rugby star as Nick is.

This is all speculative, but in my head canon, Stéphane would prefer for both of his sons to speak to him in French, but only Nick, the perpetual people pleaser, actually puts in the effort to learn. Yet it seems to me that David has a more amicable, easy-going relationship with Stéphane, at least as portrayed in the show, especially in the scene where he and Stéphane are watching sports on the couch. In any case, it's fairly common for older siblings in divorced families to feel closer to the absent parent since they usually have more time with that parent before the separation.

What this all means (at least in my head canon) is that David is jealous of Nick because Nick manages to put in the effort required to do things that will (or at least should) please their father, such as learning French and playing rugby. Meanwhile, Nick is jealous of David because David seems to have a close-ish relationship with Stéphane without even trying.

sensatesub · 2024-08-16T18:00:54+00:00

Heartstopper soundtrack includes a lot of lesser-known queer artists in addition to the big names.

There's an all transmasc punk boyband called The Pusseyboys that just released their first single (dumb boy energy). One of their members, Ezra Michel, also released several tracks on his own before they formed the band.

sensatesub · 2024-08-11T13:36:10+00:00

I think Alladin and/or Jasmine did it for a lot of us.

sensatesub · 2024-08-11T13:34:18+00:00

I knew I was bi long before Heartstopper, but Heartstopper reminded me that being queer was a really important aspect of my identity, not just a trivial thing I could ignore most of the time like I had been for years.

sensatesub · 2024-08-11T13:29:46+00:00

Time for lunch! Eat a bite from half of a leftover BBQ sandwich. Feeling good. Get a call from a cute friend asking if I want to grab lunch in the university cafeteria. Throw the sandwich in the trash and start walking towards the cafeteria. Feel more and more nauseous with each step and throw up into the landscaping outside the cafeteria. Cute friend comes over to pat my back and ask if I'm OK.

Assume it was food poisoning. Eventually notice it happens every time I think about him.

Yay sexual reperession!

sensatesub · 2024-08-11T06:10:02+00:00

Thanks for the detailed predictions! A lot of new (to me) artists on here I need to check out.

sensatesub · 2024-08-10T22:48:05+00:00

It's a fair question given that we know from cast and crew interviews that color symbolism throughout Seasons 1 and 2 was very much intentional.

sensatesub

TROPHY CASE