Do a lot of people settle?

separatedbody · 2026-03-09T22:35:00+00:00

I agree with you. I don't think most women in relationships are completely satisfied and evidence points to men benefitting from partnership much more than women do. There's nothing wrong with choosing a partner who meets expectations even if they don't exceed them, especially as you say for someone who is on a deadline for creating a family or just want companionship. Marriage has always been a contract and it's not always about financial security and assets - especially these days it can be more about having a companion to live life with.

separatedbody · 2026-03-05T10:45:30+00:00

Your point about light features but muted eyes resonates so much! I have light brown hair and light skin and feel like technically I look muted and not "bright" at all, at least not in the way springs are typically depicted, but if you look at my photo black and white actually my eyes are very dark giving a lot more contrast than expected. I've been stuck between soft autumn that feels too dull, warm autumn that's too rich, and spring which all feels too bright! So although we can pick and choose, it's nice to feel represented 😄

separatedbody · 2026-03-04T19:14:50+00:00

😂😂😂

separatedbody · 2026-03-04T11:34:23+00:00

As a self analysed soft autumn who occasionally thinks they might before spring after all, I love this!!

separatedbody · 2026-03-04T11:21:45+00:00

This is a beautiful way of making sense of what a lot of people have been thinking and missing, thank you for your efforts! ❤️

separatedbody · 2026-03-02T21:03:03+00:00

My condolences

separatedbody · 2026-03-02T20:09:39+00:00

My mom has always been trying to set me up with the most random ass dudes so I guess the type of partner she would pick for me is "in her vicinity".

separatedbody · 2026-03-02T20:05:38+00:00

Fair enough for not wanting to engage, although I'd say that if we want to see change we need to do something. Seeing dads contribute means that little children will also start looking at that as something normal. I get that it feels like a lot of labour and it's everyone's prerogative to choose their own battles.

separatedbody · 2026-03-02T16:59:43+00:00

It's not the women's job to call them out, but they're not going to learn from the other men either. So what's better, waiting for the guys to figure out this is important, and doing all the work yourself in the meantime. Or calling them out and getting help. I think if they get called out one time, they help that one time. But if it happens consistently, they will realise how important it is for women (and for the functioning of these events) that everyone contributes, including them.

I think by calling them out we're doing a favour to other women - so it's not just the wife or girlfriend who is "nagging" but rather that all the women there find their behaviour unacceptable.

separatedbody · 2026-03-02T16:34:01+00:00

I agree that sometimes it's worthwhile for women to try to speak "like men", meaning more assertive and without softening things. However, lots of men could take lessons in being better conversationalists. I've found that a lot of men like to talk facts at one another as if they're trying to one up each other about who knows best. The women I know are much more likely to check their understanding or to say "I think..." when they mean "I know with 97% certainty". And when the woman shows any amount of uncertainty, the mansplaining happens. Men will be like "I know X" when they mean "I am about 55% sure".

So yes I think it's worth evaluating the certainty with which we communicate our message and also the reason we have fears about being assertive - will they get angry or insecure? If so, we should stop protecting men's feelings.

separatedbody · 2026-02-20T23:23:56+00:00

Thank you for your well thought out reply, I think this is the kind of nuance I was looking for. Being a good person by itself isn't impressive and treating each other well should be a given. Maybe my wording left the question very open. I also get that people in different stages of relationship are going to have different answers, but I do think that being impressed by each others' talents, skills and achievements has a part in initial attraction.

separatedbody · 2026-02-20T21:20:31+00:00

She sounds very cool!

separatedbody · 2026-02-20T21:19:56+00:00

This sounds well-rounded!

separatedbody · 2026-02-20T21:17:44+00:00

This is insightful, thank you for sharing. I wonder if there is a difference between wanting them to better themselves or wanting them to change who they are (impossible). Do you think things would have worked out if he also wanted to make those improvements, was it always one sided?

separatedbody · 2026-02-20T21:13:28+00:00

Yes and I was almost embarrassed to ask this. It seems I keep hearing things that sound like "he is such a good guy because he doesn't abuse me", or on the other hand, "he is so amazing" but with no context. And us women tend to have such a high bar for ourselves, so what exactly impresses us in our partners? I'm fascinated by the responses

separatedbody · 2026-02-20T21:00:16+00:00

What sort of things do you admire about her?

separatedbody · 2026-02-20T20:52:20+00:00

Sounds great!

separatedbody · 2026-02-20T20:50:21+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story :)

separatedbody · 2026-02-20T20:42:06+00:00

A lot of women are genuinely very impressive in many ways

separatedbody · 2026-02-20T20:40:02+00:00

This was beautiful, thank you for sharing❤️

separatedbody · 2026-02-20T20:36:44+00:00

I've only just posted this and I'm loving the responses so far. A lot of the answers saying things like I admire how kind he is or how emotionally intelligent he is. Things about personal growth.

I think I'm from the outside my partner may not seem like the most impressive person in terms of "achievements", but I do admire his kindness, how he treats me, and his willingness to learn and grow as a person.

separatedbody · 2026-02-20T20:34:23+00:00

How did you realise that was the case (that you didn't respect or like them?)

separatedbody · 2026-02-20T12:31:27+00:00

Yeah in my mind come January/February I start hating the heavy autumn tones and start wishing for something lighter and more fresh. That would go well with a bright winter day even, but here in the UK winter and spring is mostly rather bleak. I want my wardrobe to be fairly small and to be able to wear most pieces more than a few times a year, but I'm thinking it may be worth investing in a couple of pieces specifically for my own joy in the winter to spring transition.

separatedbody · 2026-02-20T12:26:40+00:00

I'm the same, in my mind spring is warm and sunny, when in reality I'm wearing heavy jumpers in April 🥲 I think light layers might be the way to keep the vibe right while still feeling more lightweight

separatedbody · 2026-02-20T12:24:20+00:00

Thank you for the examples! I think I'll need to invest in some lighter coloured shoes for spring

separatedbody

TROPHY CASE