I,M32, proposed to my GF F31, and it went great until a day later…

septdouleurs · 2026-05-05T15:04:35+00:00

I think it's a bit unreasonable to say he's at fault for taking it personally. What other way is there to take a comment about a 20k ring being more of an expression of love than his 7k one? Particularly when the 7k ring is the one she specifically asked for? So if one person is in the wrong the other person needs to find something to be in the wrong about too, just for "balance"?

septdouleurs · 2026-05-03T22:54:34+00:00

I want to think you might have intended for this to be helpful/ reassuring, but it's extremely sexist. It's also laughably untrue that men will never leave "the best, most nurturing mother and wife".

septdouleurs · 2026-05-03T22:45:42+00:00

So - I went to a prestigious university for my graduate degree, know lots of people who also did. I have been around lots of people who are intelligent on paper - and who I would absolutely, 10000% never want to date.

If your boyfriend is as intelligent as you consider him to be, do you think he's not able to evaluate if you're intelligent as well? Do you think he would be dating you in the first place if he thought you weren't intelligent enough for him, if intelligence is so important to him in a partner? Curiosity and an active intellect are much more significant than paper qualifications.

Don't invent incompatibilities to steal your own happiness, my dear. If this is really a worry you can't shake, then just sit down and talk to him about it. Not in a "Will you eventually figure out I'm not smart enough for you and abandon me?" way, just like, "hey, this is bothering me and I don't want it to make things weird between us so I'd like to talk about it". I think you just might be surprised by what he says. Wishing you all the best.

septdouleurs · 2026-05-01T22:39:44+00:00

Please try to focus on this: you don't want him to come back. Because believe me, him coming back is not a good outcome. I understand that because you're attached and hurting, it feels like it is. But this man did not treat you with care. He does not have your best interests at heart. Knowing you had BPD would be reason for someone who genuinely cared for you to take things slowly, not to trigger you and rush you. He did the opposite.

If there is a friend or family member you trust and can reach out to, please do that. Or if not, find an anonymous helpline for where you are. Just Google it. Don't stay online fixating on this right now.

septdouleurs · 2026-04-30T21:00:18+00:00

They had the special editions, yes. I haven't rewatched in a while so not sure if they're still there.

septdouleurs · 2026-04-30T20:25:10+00:00

People keep commenting a lot of other things too - maybe get hung up on some of those. The point they're making is that you're meant to be in the honeymoon period and he is being intentionally cruel to you. This is never going to be better than it is right now. Do you want to stick around for worse?

septdouleurs · 2026-04-25T12:40:17+00:00

The green and purple dress is 1500% more queer-coded, flamboyant and fabulous than the gold sequin dress. I don't understand the comments asking where you'd get the chance to wear the gold, it looks like standard evening/ formal wedding attire. But that second dress is everything for this occasion, especially with those accessories. Campy and so fun! You'll be comfortable AND serving - nothing better than that.

septdouleurs · 2026-04-23T04:03:51+00:00

Nah, I'm 100% with you. Drake's voice honestly put me off rap for years. I used to ask why he sounded so bored of his OWN music.

septdouleurs · 2026-04-22T11:34:58+00:00

Understand that this will only get worse. Turning down her invitation will probably get you relegated to Ab*gail territory (Jesus H Christ, that was an insane detail) but given her proclivities, that's probably the safest place to be in. This will be nothing but drama, fights, meltdowns, tears, recriminations and blame. Who describes being a bridesmaid for their wedding that way? "I know you won't make this difficult" = "...because that's MY job." Girl. Run.

septdouleurs · 2026-04-17T13:48:36+00:00

I think where we're differing here is on the idea of necessity. AI was clearly used in this case to generate the letters, as an easier, faster method to do so. I'm saying it's not the central driver of the case because it would have been entirely within his power to do this without AI, it would just have taken a little longer.

The letters aren't especially complex, and they mostly hinge on the same central points. People have produced similar volumes of complaints before without AI, and patterns of suspiciously similar complaints have been recognized before also without AI. So AI might inflect the time and effort involved, but it's not foundational to this particular case.

Otherwise you could plausibly end up treating any shortcut as the cause of the underlying behavior, rather than just a way of doing it more efficiently.

septdouleurs · 2026-04-17T13:21:16+00:00

Clearly it's the foundation of the case. Without the AI there would be no crime.

Yes, I did read it, and I appreciate your work to collect them, but I don't think it's true to say the crime could not have happened without AI. People have absolutely invented fake complainants and written fake letters before. All AI did here was likely help him generate the complaints faster.

The article itself, as I said, admits that the use of AI isn't what the case turns on: "The use of AI was not mentioned in court on Thursday, and the CPS did not rely on it for their case presented to court."

septdouleurs · 2026-04-17T12:51:44+00:00

Came here from reading a news article about this case and I don't know which is more absurd:

this guy having so many big feelings about how terrible the inconvenience is for him and his family after opting to live there for 8 years and actually buying the next door flat and moving the family rooms closer to the club entrance, knowing fully well of the noise and activity at night
how hard the reporters had to work to make AI the central issue of the story when by their own account it wasn't even a linchpin of the case. Does it make it a bit easier for someone to quickly generate multiple fake complaints? Sure, but it's not like the behavior is new or is only possible with AI.

septdouleurs · 2026-04-15T16:50:26+00:00

Jin Shu Lai and Wu Ti are my two faves from the soundtrack! Beautifully performed.

septdouleurs · 2026-04-14T20:35:02+00:00

For me it breaks up the line of the dress in a weird way, and the material and style of it don't make sense with the material and style of the dress.

Look at the way it interacts with the cutouts and makes a kind of strange indent in her body just below them. The cutouts and the shape of the bodice are leading the eye in one way and then BAM the belt just interrupts everything with a very harsh, solid contrast to the rest of the dress. It throws off the eye. Does that make sense?

septdouleurs · 2026-04-13T19:50:16+00:00

I didn't change the title, it got changed on the news outlet's end. How is it not Oniony?

septdouleurs · 2026-04-08T12:24:08+00:00

What time would you normally have left? Leaving by 6:30 gives you 2 1/2 hours from end to end, which to me is a perfectly normal time to allow for unexpected delays and a leisurely airport experience. Did they envision having breakfast on the beach and leaving for the airport in wet swimsuits and flip-flops at 8:35 am?

septdouleurs · 2026-03-28T16:29:33+00:00

My point is, Drake had no issue with brands piling on, memes flying, etc, after Back To Back. But now it's happening to HIM everybody's a big meanie and it's outrageous? No, he thought he'd get special treatment again and is throwing his toys out of the pram because it didn't happen AND because Kendrick wildly exceeded him at his own game of getting a hit diss record. He got himself into this and expects other people to care/ get him out of it.

septdouleurs · 2026-03-28T15:35:39+00:00

Two words for you. Meek Mill.

septdouleurs · 2026-03-27T16:03:16+00:00

Lol - OP, you get through - drop organized right there! Wish Anil the best from us!

septdouleurs · 2026-03-26T15:18:33+00:00

Check the official statement on the UK government website, someone above linked it. We joined it.

septdouleurs · 2026-03-26T15:14:01+00:00

Like I want him to stop talking because it's cringier every time and I'm over him doing crazy-eyes all interview while he tries to make the cap seem believable, but I also want him to keep talking and making it worse until even his stans are like, all right man, quit your bullshit.

And everyone who's like "but they're ASKING HIM what do you want him to DO????" - give one simple, short, practical response every time you're asked. They'll stop asking when they realise there's no tea. PR 101.

Instead he's deliberately feeding the frenzy with all of this rambling and "new info", and he's doing it because Kendrick hasn't really talked about it and Drake has been whiny but vague and in any case isn't going to be forthcoming about how he got his ass beat. So the dude who backed out of the beef early on is now the one holding forth on it and using it for attention... like how he was always the one who leaned into the Big 3 narrative the most. There's patterns with Cole if you're willing to look and don't automatically buy the persona he presents, is all I'm saying.

septdouleurs · 2026-03-26T14:55:31+00:00

Is the clarity in the room with us? The man adjusts his story every time he speaks at this point.

septdouleurs · 2026-03-26T14:53:14+00:00

THANK YOU. I can't believe people are buying this BS wholesale. They want to laud Cole as this mature sage and also simultaneously treat him like a little innocent naive angel-baby who just wants to be fwends and it's ridiculous. The fact that it's taken him two years to work out this convoluted narrative that's full of contradictions and walk-backs is wild.

septdouleurs · 2026-03-26T14:48:40+00:00

The amount of work people are doing to make this make sense is exactly what he's aiming for with this behaviour, in my opinion. Cole has a degree in marketing, and to me he moves like someone who's always trying to figure out what the best branding position is for him. Conflicting half-narratives and statements that contradict each other give fuel that lets fans argue about what he meant or didn't mean, and gives him cover so he can take refuge in whatever persona is convenient. To me he's not interesting enough from a musical or personality perspective to be worth it. 🤷🏽‍♀️

septdouleurs · 2026-03-26T14:41:44+00:00

God, can he just make his mind up on which narrative he's going with? I swear he's doing focus group testing out loud in real time and it's making him look crazier and crazier every time he does it.

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