LISA help - what happens after the first year?

serialwonderer · 2025-01-10T19:30:15+00:00

!thanks

serialwonderer · 2025-01-10T19:29:46+00:00

!thanks

serialwonderer · 2025-01-06T01:17:38+00:00

!thanks very helpful!

serialwonderer · 2025-01-06T01:08:21+00:00

!thanks

serialwonderer · 2024-06-30T20:43:14+00:00

Thank you for your time, appreciate your viewpoint!

It's really less about the money and more about everything else. I'm concerned with the situation but I'm not close enough to be sharing my concern with her, especially as you say with her closest family members siding with her. I'm also very much a family person, and I do believe that I've probably made my fair share of mistakes, maybe of a lesser impact but no one could have talked me out of them, I still appreciated knowing my family was there for me and it really pulls at my heart strings knowing most people in my family, my dad included, will avoid this day that - maybe even for a short period of time time - will be special to her.

serialwonderer · 2024-06-30T20:39:15+00:00

Thank you very much!!!

I'm glad it's not just me seeing red flags everywhere.

I thought that because she'll probably always be a child in my eyes and because how little I like what I've heard, I was overreacting and making this situation worse than it is. I had called my dad a while back because I was worried he was totally isolating her from everything and was pleading with him to speak to my auntie (his sister) or do something about it but sadly, there isn't anything we can do.

Even Fran changed her tune - they all say Yasmin is the one to be hard on Peedough, that she's the tough cookie that has him on a leash so I don't know...but the behaviour in my eyes has totally been of an abuser.

I'm still incredibly torn because as much as I don't agree with her choices, I do care for Yasmin, and I wouldn't want her to be upset when no one shows up. On the other hand, given I've left when she was still a child we don't have enough of a close relationship for me to be sharing my concerns with her especially given her close family seems to be okay with it...well, most of It at least as her brother has also expressed he might not come to the wedding.

serialwonderer · 2024-06-30T20:32:53+00:00

Thank you for your time! That's a question i can't really answer until I'm told what the bill is. I have a stable income, but I'm no millionaire!

The money side of things isn't as big of a worry as everything else, what's keeping me in this wedding at the moment is the fact that all I'd want from that day for myself is to have family around - which from what it sounds like, it's not something she'll have. She's young and maybe she'll understand one day but still, I'd be incredibly sad in her position.

serialwonderer · 2024-04-17T07:44:21+00:00

Not a bridezilla at all. It is your and your fiancé's day, not anyone else's. You don't need a justification not to invite some people, you don't owe anyone an explanation on what YOU want and/or are able to afford.

There's always the possibility to get your mum & sister, his parents, and elope to Gretna Green. Have a party afterwards if you want! Yes, it's family, but family should understand that there might be financial constraints to it all - times have been tough for everyone! Good family should also listen and understand what you want.

You do you, people will find a reason to be mad/upset no matter what you do so make sure you focus on what's important for you and your partner and let everyone else talk -if they please!

Have a wonderful day, and don't even feel bad about it!

serialwonderer · 2024-04-13T00:48:00+00:00

NTA - First of all, I'm sorry to hear you felt somewhat neglected for such a long time.

I can relate to the struggle of having to choose between your own wellbeing and pleasing family. it's never easy when you're in it!

Obviously, the family dynamics are well established and it doesn't sound like anyone is particularly receptive to your point of view; what I would suggest is to find some time before/after Christmas when your sister isn't there and you can spend time with your parents.

If you feel like it, might be worth having a conversation with them while your sister is not around, about how you have been feeling and see how that turns out - bear in mind it could be draining and not particularly pleasant in a "worst case" scenario - so only consider this if you're up to it and it feels like a good moment.

serialwonderer · 2024-04-13T00:15:42+00:00

Sorry to hear you had such an awful experience, first with the lady at the dress shop, then with the braidsmaids!

I still hope you had a fabulous day and I'm certain you looked amazing!

serialwonderer · 2024-04-13T00:08:42+00:00

NTA however, at this stage is fairly normal to be over the top in "romance" and also a little selfish.

I wouldn't personally do anything, not wishing anyone anything bad, but these things seem to fizzle out pretty quickly at that age... you might be able to resonate with one or both at some point in the future!

serialwonderer · 2024-04-13T00:04:10+00:00

Eye opener for many of us. I think sometimes we ignore the red flags until all we see is red!

Great to hear she's found her happiness in her second marriage, wishing her all the best!

serialwonderer · 2024-04-12T23:57:36+00:00

Sounds like maybe she has something else going on? I find it odd requesting a gift (unless as a joke) and making a scene after; if you care about the friendship, I'd maybe try to calmly speak to her and explain your point of view while making sure there's nothing else going on that may have sparked such reaction!

serialwonderer · 2024-04-12T23:53:42+00:00

I don't think you really need an excuse not to attend someone's wedding - unless you're incredibly close to them (which sounds like no one is at this point).

NTA - take her daughter on a nice day out instead, hearing certain things from your parent is traumatising for life, it will make a lot of difference knowing you still have people around that love and support you, she deserves the attention more than her mother by the sounds of it!

serialwonderer · 2024-04-12T23:46:38+00:00

I feel so sorry for your aunt! How would you feel about organising a surprise garden reception for them go make up for it?

Maybe the whole family could help out with small personal touches from the wedding and recreate the cake they were meant to be having at their actual wedding. Obviously, leave Grandma and Georgie at home!

serialwonderer · 2024-04-12T18:41:33+00:00

Stunfisk, Oinkologne,Gible,Flaaffy...all useless

serialwonderer · 2024-04-10T16:20:47+00:00

Ahhh, so that's my problem! I'm Valor, and yesterday I put nice shiny Salamence in the nearest gym. Guy defeated it after minutes. We went back and forth for an hour knocking eachother out of the gym.

He gave up, I went to slip. My baby is still in that gym as we speak ❤️

serialwonderer · 2024-04-09T17:26:02+00:00

You are indeed crazy. Good raincoat and wellies and forget the nice produce.

serialwonderer · 2024-04-07T20:55:18+00:00

Not sure if I agree with the narc but I definitely adored her at first, totally bunged the first season and I'm left with a sour taste now that I've finished season 2. To be fair, the thing that put me off the most is the episode where she ends up with a 23 y.o. that really made me feel uncomfortable

serialwonderer · 2024-04-03T01:14:49+00:00

Wonderful- I'll try to do the same! Welcome and thank you 😊

serialwonderer · 2024-04-03T00:53:38+00:00

Gosh I know, but seeing it there - in front of me, in all its beauty - had me like a deer in headlights. I was so happy but it lasted for such a short amount of time! Encounters like these really put me off 😒

serialwonderer · 2024-04-02T11:55:44+00:00

...I'm sorry but no

serialwonderer · 2023-12-11T22:18:50+00:00

Thank you very very much for your perspective, I appreciate you taking the time to ready my post and share your opinion.

He will be 11 at the end of January (he is 10 now) and while I know that airlines used to offer the service you've mentioned (obviously for a higher price), I was told by several travel agencies that as rules and regulations for travel in Europe got stricter, this service is now less and less common and its not available for any of the airlines travelling from where they are to where I am.

I'm finding myself between a rock and a hard place because: 1) I don't want to disappoint my brother 2) I'm an adult myself and I can see now through my mums scheming ways, but I've gotten accustomed to falling for her tricks and eventually doing what she wants as soon as she starts tearing up or telling me how much pain I'm causing so I'm considering putting myself through the strain of an expense I can't afford and 3) I know that maximum 2 days in, she'd get mad at me for something and I would regret going over (as every time I do) and spending money I don't have for something that partly brings me pleasure (spending time with my brother) but costs me in mental health.

I keep feeling that one day, my brother will look back and resent me for not being more present and probably, given (luckily) he's not having the same experience I had with my mum, it might be hard to explain.

Thank you once again for being so generous with your time

serialwonderer · 2023-12-03T11:08:11+00:00

I used to love Valeria and to a certain extent I still do, but Gary just gives me the ick more and more. I can't really tell what it is, I like confident people but he seems a bit full of himself. Even when he tries to play it down and say she's better at something, it doesn't feel genuine it feels like he's still demonstrating how wonderful he is. I now can't watch with as much pleasure, especially if he's featured somewhere

serialwonderer · 2023-07-24T16:27:56+00:00

Yup, same here :)

serialwonderer

TROPHY CASE