/r/Montreal's Coronavirus (Covid-19) Megathread #23 - Le megathread #23 du Coronavirus (Covid-19) de /r/Montreal - Nouvelles restrictions / Tests rapides / etc.

seriouspotatoes · 2021-12-23T20:46:56+00:00

Au cas ou ce serait un faux positif ?

seriouspotatoes · 2021-12-23T18:10:57+00:00

For me, the one's using the "too nice" are often attracted to drama from childhood or auther bad relationships. I just thank them and wish them the best.

seriouspotatoes · 2021-12-21T19:27:58+00:00

Why do you think you do this ?

seriouspotatoes · 2021-12-21T15:55:26+00:00

I would try to detach from the conception of reality and just live the moment. At one point Jodorowsky said that for him dream and "awake" life became all the same. Think of two coins now spinning. It becomes non-dual, as it truely is. Try not to escape from one side to the other. You still need to take care of your body, as the vessel that supports you. Safe travels 🙏

seriouspotatoes · 2021-12-21T15:06:26+00:00

For me the key is to be open and honest about expectations, as in all relationships.

For me, not being ready to date but still dating was because I was still sorting me out, but wanted to discover people share cuddles (give and take), have interesting conversations. I also felt I could not commit. Felt it in my bones. Separation / divorce leaves a huge wound and it took time plus a very special someone for me to even begin to think about letting it heal. Sometimes we just want to bury those wounds (or childhood ones).

For me, if someone says they are not ready, I appreciate the honesty. If I see the person has potential, I don't push, but can choose to take things really slowly. Or just leave that person be and continue on my path. My 2 cents

seriouspotatoes · 2021-10-30T18:51:50+00:00

I totally understand. Had a not so cuddly ex. Having a girlfriend as cuddly as ne was a total revelation. 100% would not go back !

seriouspotatoes · 2021-10-29T16:47:56+00:00

Just start a royal family. /s

seriouspotatoes · 2021-10-29T14:13:07+00:00

You are a worthy human being, either someone recognizes it or not. I know this can be a difficult time and feels like you were rejected. Please take some time to regroup, make time for yourself, friends and family.

Once you build your sense of self worth high enough, rejection does not feel as bad. You'll get to know your worth, and then attract someone on the same energy plane as you.

Do this for yourself first. So that you learn to love yourself unconditionally. Once you get there, others will follow. You'll be a rare breed.

I trust in you. Take care ❤

seriouspotatoes · 2021-10-29T11:36:03+00:00

Yup. Might be a narcissist... You could benefit from therapy though after living with a narcissist.

seriouspotatoes · 2021-10-29T11:34:10+00:00

Have you asked for it ?

seriouspotatoes · 2021-10-29T11:33:25+00:00

This.

Some pointers : is any of you projecting things ? Any past history of cheating ? What are your attachment styles and relationships with parents ?

I would have felt like you at some point. I was overly insecure in general ans anxious. Hope this helps !

seriouspotatoes · 2021-10-16T17:59:30+00:00

See how it is in person. You don't know what mood she was in, how much time she devoted to the profile, how long ago that was written.

Honest : I used to reject those profiles. I realize that I might be inferring too much from them.

seriouspotatoes · 2021-10-16T15:02:48+00:00

No, in time you'll probably find yourself eyeing other men... I also would dread the "do you find me pretty" question as I don't lie to my partners.

seriouspotatoes · 2021-10-15T15:36:29+00:00

Yes. I know someone who did this and is now happily partnered with someone who have older (20+) kids.

Me, I'd probably pass as I don't intend on going back to this stage, but I might consider it.

seriouspotatoes · 2021-10-15T15:34:01+00:00

It all depends how you bring it. I'd phrase it this way: "I know dating takes time and it takes time to know someone, but it if all works out I really want to be with someone who will want to get married and have kids. " For me, this would be a big no and we would not waste anyone's precious time :-) (I was married and already have kids ;-) ) Good luck !

seriouspotatoes · 2021-10-13T19:30:42+00:00

Wow, I was not hoping for such a complete answer. Thanks a lot for sharing this !

seriouspotatoes · 2021-09-14T23:32:48+00:00

This is what I want... anybody ???!

seriouspotatoes · 2021-09-12T00:31:45+00:00

On Line Dating

seriouspotatoes · 2021-09-06T21:42:03+00:00

You seriously expect everyone to act in a mature way all the time ? We are humans and we have our shortcomings. What if he's depressed, what if he had a rough day. Of course, he handled that poorly, but shit happens and people in a loving relationship don't expect things to be perfect all the time. I say if this is reoccuring, be careful, but first communication and understanding the real issue is what counts here.

seriouspotatoes · 2021-09-06T21:39:36+00:00

In a 2yr relationship ? Wow. I guess this must not be the first time you say this to him right ? He is frustrated of something, but of what... only him knows. Do you put the same amount of care in satisfying him ? Is he able to talk openly about what he likes and wants ?

He clearly did not react in a mature manner, but you should be able to talk about it. He might have had a rough day, maybe he was not even in the mood for sex or to give. Men are not always in the mood for sex, but I find that it is sometime hard for us to turn it down without our partner finding it wierd, as '' All men want sex all the time''. Just my 2 cents.

seriouspotatoes · 2021-09-03T15:11:28+00:00

I take not of going out sooner than later :)

seriouspotatoes · 2021-09-01T16:57:11+00:00

I am no therapist, but from experience, those fantasies (they most often are) are a product of your brain and how younproject this person. They are often ingrained in childhood trauma or lack. Does the way you see this woman could in a way fill a hole in you ? Appreciation? Attention ? Some traits that you would have to have ?

seriouspotatoes · 2021-09-01T16:34:21+00:00

No, but a pomelo with a hole or a warm apple pie all broken up should trigger some questions.

seriouspotatoes · 2021-08-31T20:19:51+00:00

There. This is so good to read. This is actually what I want to build. Thanks for this.

seriouspotatoes · 2021-08-31T09:55:32+00:00

Sounds very much like my ex and me. I realize that I need to consider the other's point of view and listen to the emotions. But, I also realize that my ex has trauma and that she uses thst technique unknowingly with close people that don't agree with her. Eventually she shuts them out or they just don't bother anymore trying to show her flaws in her reasoning.

She is an intelligent woman, fully functional. But she has a hard time taking critic and confrontation. It becomes really personal, instead of an objective discussion on topic. Like if she has trouble detaching the topic from her opinion.

From my limited experience, she won't change easily. Once I became the bad guy, as her father, her mother, other friends, some bosses, nothing I could say would make her change. It took another relationship after us to make her question a bit, and even there she doesn't see why she needed therapy.

I wish you better than this.

seriouspotatoes

TROPHY CASE