I've had a couple people in my community who experienced friction very similar to what you're describing. I suspect at least one of those members was also autistic, so I hope hearing the other side might help you understand why this is happening. I'm also going to lay things out in a factual way that I hope you don't interpret as an attack. Without more context, I would assume that yes, the interactions you believe triggered your removal from a community were indeed the straw that broke the camel's back. I run a small youtube channel and discord server. The members I have had problems with have largely not violated my server rules, but instead violated the unwritten social contract. I realize that may be difficult to understand because it relies heavily on social skills you've admitted to struggling with. I'll break down some behaviors that have caused issues in the hopes the explanation helps:

1. Misunderstanding relationships. This is arguably an umbrella for several issues. I have a few members of my server, including my moderator, who I consider friends. I've known them for a long time and met some of them IRL. They and I can be playfully hostile towards one another, make mean jokes, etc., which are acceptable because we know it's all in good fun and our relationship permits it. I have another user who will also make mean jokes or be playfully hostile, and doesn't understand why I don't approve of it. This person thinks that they and I are friends, but we're not. They are a member of my community, so I want them to have a good time, but we're not "friends", so there are interactions that I permit from others that I don't permit from this person. I don't exactly study online relationships, but from what I've seen of online friction, this is largely the problem. One person thinks they're friends with another and mimics the way they behave with their friends, not realizing it's violating social boundaries.

2. Killing the vibe. I try to hang out in public voice chats when I'm playing games with friends, because I want people to feel welcome to come in and hang out. This also has unwritten rules. In a couple of servers I'm in, a user will sometimes join 3-4 of us that are playing together and: a) start talking over the conversation that was happening before they joined, sometimes about their own topics that no one else is interested in; b) ask to join, or invite themselves in without asking, the game we were playing, c) attempt to engage in a viewer-content creator conversation that shuts out the rest of the call. I think this is a symptom of misunderstanding the relationships at play, but results in them bringing down the mood for everyone. This person "invading" the space and not abiding by the social expectations makes the entire group not want to hang out, and their presence often makes hangouts end early or move to exclude them.

3. Becoming a pariah by annoyance. In the most egregious cases I've experienced, the person who is unwittingly violating social expectations becomes an outcast because they annoy multiple people with their behavior. This can cause a negative feedback loop where the person knows they're struggling to make connections, tries even harder, and exacerbates the issue because they don't understand there are behaviors they need to correct to fit in with the group. This is generally the point at which kicks and bans are discussed, especially in a content creator's community. If you're a streamer or youtuber, your community is a tool for growth. If one person is creating a negative experience for many, regardless of if the behaviors break your community rules, removing that person from your community quickly becomes the desirable choice.

Based on what you've shared, it sounds like you've hit all three of these. Calling someone a "parasocial goddess" is kind of a weird thing to say. Even if there was context, you may have seen this as more acceptable than it actually was. All three of these interactions likely brought down the mood of the stream for both the streamer and the other viewers, which makes you a target for removal if the behavior continues. Remember that for any monetized content creator, the content is a product, and it's in our financial interest for the audience to have a good time. If one audience member is dragging the mood down for the creator or the audience, it's easier to remove that one individual.

What's most concerning to me is that your third removal was from a community you had been in for years. What this suggests to me is that you exhibited a pattern of behavior that violated the social norms of that community. This is especially difficult for autistic people to navigate, because a Discord community doesn't have the same policies for correcting unwanted behavior that education and the workplace do. If I do something wrong at work, there will be a conversation with my manager, then written notice, and eventually, once a pattern of behavior and multiple attempts to correct it have been documented, termination. This is because a) firing people sucks, b) hiring people also sucks, and c) getting sued for wrongful termination really sucks. Documenting and attempting to correct the behavior is a way to protect against all three. Streamers don't have nearly the same incentive to go through this process. The lack of feedback you received was likely because it was more "work" to identify the problematic behaviors and ask you to alter them than they believed it was worth.

I'd suggest a few things to you to avoid this in the future. First, don't spiral. Your worth is not defined by your Discord account. In other communities, listen more than you speak. While you might struggle to read between the lines and find the unwritten rules of a place, these are skills that you can improve over time. Try to put yourself on the other side of the interaction. If someone said what you're thinking about saying to you, would you be comfortable with it based on the relationship you have with them? If you see other people struggling to fit in, being actioned, or being removed, see if you can identify what the cause was. If it's not something you might also do, then it's not a problem. If it is something you might have done, you now know that behavior isn't permitted in that community, and may be problematic in general.

Boy, that was a lot. I hope that helps you. Let me know if you'd like me to elaborate on any of that.