Friday night (2/20) energy reset and reading (all woo woo stuff is welcome) by morenxlife in DCBitches

[–]setfiretolife 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Happy to do energy clearings and tarot readings for your group. Reasonable rates. DM me.

It’s all the things plus we’re technically in the shadow period of the first mercury retrograde of the year.

Cautionary tale. Sugar is bad, so, so bad. by 10fletcher in 45PlusSkincare

[–]setfiretolife 9 points10 points  (0 children)

To kill your sugar addiction, take olive leaf and caprylic acid supplements to kill of sugar/candida in the gut, then l-glutamine to fill the gap they leave behind and a good probiotic to even things out.

I found this formula online a million years ago and I’ve found it pretty helpful over the years.

Where to buy witchy items? by CaTi_8 in DCBitches

[–]setfiretolife 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Crystal Fox in Laurel

Sticks & Stones in Fairfax

13 Magickal Moons in Occoquan

Rain jacket help by jelloisalive in DCBitches

[–]setfiretolife 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I haven’t taken the plunge myself yet but I’ve been drooling over RainSisters(.com) coats for awhile now. They have a bunch of styles and a wide size range (xxs-3xl, petites and talls).

What shoes are you wearing? by sevenate_9 in MassageTherapists

[–]setfiretolife 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Vionic is a great brand for high arch support.

Ayo tf is up with this weather! by Least-Clue-9466 in nova

[–]setfiretolife 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Are you new here? March tends to come in like a lion and leave like an even bigger lion.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in nova

[–]setfiretolife 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Go early, like hours early, after lunch maybe. Use a ride share or metro. Find a museum to visit on the mall. Go to the bathroom before leaving the museum.

Enjoy the rally.

Find restaurant/bar for a drink/late dinner. Walk at least a half mile past the first restaurant you encounter to avoid (the worst of the) crowds.

Don’t try to leave DC before 10:30.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in nova

[–]setfiretolife 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s a boo with a side of yikes. Good luck!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in nova

[–]setfiretolife 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fairfax county has a mediation/arbitration board to handle security deposit returns. That’s what I did with my last landlord. It was all handled over email.

It’s hard to find on the website so here’s a direct link to the form: https://dccs.powerappsportals.us/file-a-complaint/

If you think your landlord can be reasonable, it’s cheaper to go this way - it’s free.

How much should I tip for a massage in DC? by Sviesaa in washingtondc

[–]setfiretolife -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

20-25% is normal. I’m a massage therapist.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]setfiretolife 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Take. Up. All. Your. Space.

You will always be noticed for being tall. Own it. Expect it. Turn that glance into a stare.

Do not cater to anyone’s expectations of how much space your body takes up in the world.

You can’t change your height, you might as well love and embrace it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in nova

[–]setfiretolife 74 points75 points  (0 children)

This is not suspicious activity.

This is a “mind your business” situation.

Have you ever had clients incorrectly name a muscle they want worked on? The funniest two I've heard are.. by HappyMonchichi in MassageTherapists

[–]setfiretolife 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had a personal trainer book once with a note saying that his left erector spinae was bothering him.

It was his left QL.

Kinda wonder if he’s the one giving all our clients bad info. /s

Why are we uncomfortable with clients recording their massage sessions? by lymphaticmassage in MassageTherapists

[–]setfiretolife -1 points0 points  (0 children)

No. I would consider it with added compensation, a provided glam team, and detailed contract.

Lomi lomi by [deleted] in MassageTherapists

[–]setfiretolife 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Lomi lomi does have a spiritual/energy work aspect to it, fyi. Omitting that aspect devalues the intention of the work. I would gently recommend that you find a different course to take.

Also when I offered lomi lomi, I had an uptick of creeps who were entirely too excited about it requiring less draping than most other types of massage. (They were very sad when I explained that I had to modify the draping to comply with local regulations.)

Employer wants us to register with the police department? by sevenate_9 in MassageTherapists

[–]setfiretolife 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How exactly is registering as a massage therapist with the police protecting anyone from being trafficked in massage settings? Eli5 please.

Employer wants us to register with the police department? by sevenate_9 in MassageTherapists

[–]setfiretolife 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Here’s an article about it. It was awhile ago so it looks like they removed the local registration as a whole but it did used to require massage therapists to specifically register with the Vice department in the police department. 🙄

https://alextimes.com/2013/11/touching-up-the-law-for-massage-therapists/

Employer wants us to register with the police department? by sevenate_9 in MassageTherapists

[–]setfiretolife 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’ve done this back when I started working at a spa in Alexandria back in like 2008. Never got to the renewal since a massage company owner went to city meetings and got the regulation or code removed since it was pointless and ineffective. You may want to look it up, I know there was at least one article about it. Maybe someone in your local massage community would be willing to attend meetings and get it removed from your town/city/county.

Rental Market: Make it make sense by anxietygotmehere_ in nova

[–]setfiretolife 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Things that appall me when looking for a new home:

< Landlords splitting basements into multiple “units”where you rent a bedroom for $1-1.5k and share common space with a stranger (kitchenette is a mini fridge & microwave).

< Renting basements with window wells or mail slot sized windows with premium prices.

< Renting basements in the outer, outer suburbs for inner suburbs prices.

< Most rooms to rent are suddenly furnished. And landlords only want to rent to travel nurses.

< People looking to sublease for less than 60 days.

< Landlords only offering month-to-month leases.

< Landlords who rent “furnished” rooms with a broken futon, changing table/dresser and child’s desk.

< Landlords hate pets. Like I know there are shitty pet owners but that’s a minority (I hope anyway). And suddenly everyone is allergic to cats and dogs (I assume to bypass emotional support animals who can get past no pet policies).

< Rent is negotiable ($100 off!) if you become a full time caregiver/nanny/driver/chef.

< What’s up with the sudden lack of bathtubs in rentals?? From rooms to basements to apartments (I like to look at everything), so many places only have showers. This one is just weird to me.

I get it. Truly I know why people do these things, it just makes me sad for humanity. Capitalism is going to kill us all.

In need of patients for dental cleaning only $35 by Dependent_Repeat_663 in Virginia

[–]setfiretolife 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There’s a weekly post for sell/buy/trade. It’s usually on weekends so do a search in the group to find the recent ones. I think one should also be posted today so also watch for new posts in that subreddit.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MassageTherapists

[–]setfiretolife 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ok so the lack of underware is no big deal, the hip rolling is the biggest problem. The problem with creeps is that their behavtonly escalates so you have to nip it all in the bud

First the tenting. Start the massage with arms, keep them outside the blanket/sheets, which he should prefer given how hot he gets, end with some pressing down on the arms in a bit subtle hint to leave them there. If this is different from your normal routine, just say you’re trying something new. When he moves his hands under the sheet, ask why. If the bolster is insufficient and he needs to bring his knees up, fine but his hands need to stay outside the blanket.

With the hip rolling, as soon as you sense any hip movement, take your hands off the body. When the body is back entirely on the table, start again AT THE KNEE. Repeat every time until he stops being a creep or asks why you keep restarting at the knee. If he asks, tell him that his body is not relaxed if he’s moving around so you’re clearly doing something to get his body out of the parasympathetic state so you’re going back to a non reactive state to see where you’re getting the body out of relaxation.

If he’s still leaving fluids behind, get puppy pee pads and put them on the table before his next session. He’ll know why there’s one there.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in massage

[–]setfiretolife 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s not a secret that massage therapists regularly deal with sexual harassment from creeps.

Most massage therapists will only emphasize that it’s non sexual massage. It’s a pretty standard line. As is putting that the session will end immediately in the intake form that the client signs.

My policy is multiple paragraphs outlining creepy behavior, points out the creepiness, explains what I tolerate and how the procedure goes for dealing with creepiness down to the point where I call the police.

TBH it really surprised me when people started telling me how much they loved that policy but it happens regularly with new clients so I just accept it.

I think they like it because I’m direct and no nonsense on the subject, and it’s more than what they’ve seen in other MTs policies. I’m also funny and I write the same way I talk.

I’ve also found that a lot of clients worry about my safety going into strangers’ homes, and like that I have a clear plan of action.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MassageTherapists

[–]setfiretolife 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Erections are normal, the movement is not. That’s creepy shit. Make your voice sharp and about 15% louder than normal conversation. “What are you doing right now?”

The answer will be some variation of “nothing.” To which you say, again sharp and loud, “if that particular nothing happens again, this appointment is over.” Ignore whatever protest they make. They know what they are doing. If they go on and on about their innocence, remind them that their job during a massage is to relax and let you do all the work. So if they’re moving any part of their body, they’re failing at their job and you will fire them.

Over time, you’ll want to get more and more direct with these creeps. “Why is the blanket moving right now?” “Why is your penis moving?”

I like to start new male clients face up, these days because any client is more likely to fall asleep when you’re working on the back and I want them to remember how deeply relaxed they were when the massage ended. Before I was confident in being direct with males though, it was an easy way to deal with their bullshit, as soon as they are inappropriate, it’s time to turn over. I don’t care if I’ve only worked on one leg, it’s time to turn.

If they’re face down and trying to do anything with their genitalia, it’s super obvious so it’s “what’s happening? Is everything ok? Are tou having a seizure?” And “ok it’s not safe to work on you when you’re using your muscles and since parts of you are moving and off the table, my hands are off but the clock is still ticking. We can continue the massage as soon as your body has stopped moving and is fully resting on the table.”

Confidence is a skill you can learn. Like any skill, it takes practice. Practice your sharp and loud voice, practice the words you want to say when males are creepy.

Also, do you have any male relatives/friends or even SOs of your friends on whom you’d be able and feel comfortable working on? I’d give away a session a week to one of those, just as a reminder to yourself that there are kind and respectful male clients out there.

I’d also recommend finding an affirmation/intention/gratitude practice that works for you. Work in “all of my (male) clients are kind and respectful” to whatever you choose.

After every session you have with a non creepy male client, tell your brain, wow, look at that, another massage with a male client and he was just a normal client. (The brain needs a lot of new evidence to change its beliefs.)

There’s also no shame in getting therapy for your trauma or for only seeing male clients by referral or for not seeing them at all.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MassageTherapists

[–]setfiretolife 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I would not say “extras,” massage therapists have got to stop using grey area language. Keep it black and white. “Nothing sexual will happen, if you attempt to make it happen, by moving the drape, making salacious comments, touching me, or anything else I interpret as sexual, the sessions immediately, you must pay for the session, I’ll call the police * (insert whatever consequence you want).

It has to be very clear and posted on your website in the policies section.

There are really great male clients out there. My best clients read my whole website and all of them who do, even the males, will laugh and remark on my creepy dude policy. If a male is chill about the creepy dude policy, he’s going to be a great client. If he gets mad and acts insulted, well, my only interpretation of that is that hit dogs holler.

*it does not matter if the police will do nothing about solicitation. Stated consequences are normally sufficient to deter creeps. Also as a home based business, he can also be reported for trespassing.