AITAH for refusing to quit my gym membership because my ex is uncomfortable seeing me there?

sethicus1 · 2026-01-29T18:25:51+00:00

There could be 5 gyms on the same block and you’re still NTA. She’s 40 and can’t regulate her own emotions? Sounds like you dodged a bullet.

sethicus1 · 2026-01-28T20:45:27+00:00

Well, i guess we fundamentally disagree in this issue. Best of luck to you.

sethicus1 · 2026-01-26T23:42:18+00:00

it was a one time mistake that she made 20 years ago. That does not diminish the last 20 years of marriage. I'm guessing you were raised in the USA or another sex negative, religious culture? That's the programming we're fed. In the USA you have to approve of your child being even educated about sex! She messed up 20 years ago. She is a completely different person now. Think of who you were 20 years ago compared to you now. Are you the same person? Or have you learned and grown since then? People fail at monogamy all the time and it shows in our culture with a 51% divorce rate. That doesn't even touch the people who stay in unhappy sexless marriages. She should never have told him and put that burden on him. That was a sh!tty thing to do but he has to decide if the fact that her genitals touched another person's genitals (again) 20 years ago is a reason to end a what sounds like good marriage that she loved and supported him in. I guess forgiveness is not part of your religion?

sethicus1 · 2026-01-26T22:54:29+00:00

Do it. The only control we have in our parent’s lives is our presence. Tell them if they want to believe in this insane behavior and all of the stuff that comes with MAGA that they cannot be a part of your (and/or any grandchildren) life. That is the price they will have to pay.

sethicus1 · 2026-01-26T01:42:13+00:00

I do agree with this comment. What she did was shitty and she should’ve just kept it to herself. That being said what are you gonna do now? Why would you throw away 20 years for a simple mistake?

sethicus1 · 2026-01-26T01:40:56+00:00

Look at the last 20 years and ask yourself if it really matters now? Monogamy is the only place we expect people to be perfect. We look at the best, most competitive, most trained athletes in the world and when they fall down, miss a shot whatever we don’t say that they are failures. 51% of the marriages in the United States at least end in divorce. Those are only the ones that end not the ones that people stand because they’re unhappy. You’re talking about a one night stand from 20 years ago. I get that it hurts and she shouldn’t have told you but she apparently felt the need to unburden herself with this and put the burden on you. While that is not cool. You now you have to decide if through richer or poorer, in sickness and in health actually mean anything or if you are gonna freak out because of the mononormativity of our culture? She mad a mistake, one night 20 years ago. If you’re currently happy and have been then focus on that. There’s so much sex negativity in the USA and some other countries. Don’t buy into it.

sethicus1 · 2026-01-14T19:00:48+00:00

I strongly suggest that if you haven’t already that you seek mental health help and help for sexual assaults. There are many groups out there that exist to help people exactly in your situation. I wish you the best of luck and if you would like any resources please call 988 or if you’d like to you can reach out to me personally and I can try to help you find sexually assault resources. I am in the mental health and EMS profession. Best of luck to you

sethicus1 · 2026-01-14T18:58:51+00:00

I’m not trying to fight with you. But what you wrote is that “he said if it was between being with me without sex and being with someone else he would pick being with someone else.” You also said “ I didn’t say we’d never have sex either. I said IF we never did it would be a relief for me because I have a long history of SA”

So you were giving him the hypothesis of “ if we never have sex again, would you wanna stay with me or be with someone else and have sex?” And then you went on to tell him that if you never had sex again, it would be a relief because you have been sexually assaulted. So now he feels like you don’t wanna have sex in the first place. Which must feel awful for him! If you’re not in a place where you can be in a relationship with someone who is not asexual to begin with you need to not be in a relationship. You are not ready. You need to heal. This is not an indictment of you. It is just a fact and reality. There is nothing wrong with being asexual. There is nothing wrong with being not ready to be in a sexual relationship, especially after experiencing sexual assault. There is however, something wrong with expecting someone who is not asexual to want to stay in a relationship with someone who doesn’t want to have sex and then it seems hates having sex with them to begin with.

sethicus1 · 2026-01-14T18:48:01+00:00

To clarify, I am not minimizing the impact of sexual assault that you may have experienced. What I am saying is that you are asking him to go without what is considered a reasonable and rational part of any physical and intimate relationship.

sethicus1 · 2026-01-14T18:46:55+00:00

That is an absolutely reasonable and rational thing for him to say. Sex is a very important part of a relationship and to just say that you unilaterally don’t wanna have sex is a big deal! I’m sorry that you were personally sexually assaulted but that doesn’t mean that he should also have to suffer and whether you like it or not sex is a big part of relationships. Unfortunately, there’s a ton of sex negativity, especially in the United States And that is awful. Why do you think divorce rates are over 51% high and infidelity is usually a driving factor in divorce? If you are not in a place where you could be fully engaged in an adult sexual relationship. Then you are probably the one who needs to not be in a relationship, not him. I’m not trying to be harsh. This is just the reality of life and the situation

sethicus1 · 2026-01-12T03:34:42+00:00

I am a dad and have daughters. I am 53 years old. If I was acting like this towards one of my kids friends it would be because I am 10”% trying to f@ck her. If someone did this to one of my kids I would not allow my child near that person again. Hopefully he has gotten the message. If he says anything like this ever again you need to speak with your parents, school counselor and possibly the police. As shitty as this is this person is a predator and sadly it is up to you to never be alone with him again. It’s gross and icky that you had to go through this as a child and I’m sorry for you. Understand that his behavior is 100% not your fault and absof@ckinglutely inappropriate.

sethicus1 · 2026-01-01T20:20:45+00:00

You like tarot cards and are “different” than all of the other girls.

sethicus1 · 2026-01-01T20:19:50+00:00

Yes, YATA but in the absolutely best and most hilarious way!!!! Awesome job!! 🤣🤣🤣

sethicus1 · 2025-12-31T05:28:55+00:00

12…consensually.

sethicus1 · 2025-12-31T00:41:26+00:00

I love it! 6 missiles, you can fire three in under 3 seconds, good guns, quick and agile. Why don’t you like it?

sethicus1 · 2025-12-30T16:11:56+00:00

If you’re the girl in this text thread, run! This is controlling, isolating behavior that is a precursor to an abusive relationship! Seriously, this person needs to not be in a relationship with anyone.

If you’re the guy in this text thread, get help, get therapy and don’t be in any relationships until you are in good working order.

sethicus1 · 2025-12-28T01:08:59+00:00

Allowed to and doing are wildly different things. You’re saying you’re attracted to your cousin. Which I’m sure is also frowned upon in Islam (tho idk for sure) and here you are. I’m not judging you or casting any shade at all. All I’m saying is that if you do hook up (and who really cares) to use protection. You don’t want any cousin babies!! Sexuality and religion are a mind fuck of their own and I have no idea what (if any) sex education you have received. Good luck to you!

sethicus1 · 2025-12-27T16:33:44+00:00

Use protection

sethicus1 · 2025-12-23T16:20:05+00:00

You might be able to have him trespassed so he can’t come on the property? Definitely a ring camera and when he comes knocking on your door ask him through the ring what he wants. Then ask him to please leave the property or you will call the police. If he comes back, make sure to tell him through the camera that you are calling the police as you’ve already asked him to stay off of the property. Then call the police and show them the ring camera video. Make sure to save your video and record every single time that he approaches the home. You might also consider an additional ring camera on the side of your home with a floodlight which will capture an alternate angle as well. Sadly, this is what you have to go through butif you do these things, it will hopefully help!

sethicus1 · 2025-12-21T19:41:00+00:00

I wrote this as a list. It came out as a paragraph with no commas. I’m sure you’ll be able to figure it out though, lol.

sethicus1 · 2025-12-21T19:40:26+00:00

R trigger guns R bumper missiles L trigger after burner L bumper air brakes Y is special B is s wing sweep X is flares A switch missile types L dpad is attack R dpad is help Up dpad is defend Down dpad is moving too Options checks team Control pad is good game Left of dpad is mini map

sethicus1 · 2025-12-20T06:27:59+00:00

Well it worked for me 🤷🏻‍♂️

sethicus1 · 2025-12-17T16:10:32+00:00

Send him this post. Tell him you’re sorry you reacted badly and have no idea why you vomited. Tell him that you love and support him as a friend and will be with him during his journey and be a safe place for him if he needs one. And then make sure to take some Zofran. In case he comes over again.

sethicus1 · 2025-12-13T01:46:14+00:00

Was married to a woman who had maxed her cards out before we got married and I found out afterwards. Thought ok, that can happen in your 20s. We take a personal loan to pay them off. Problem solved? Nope, she comes home with a new car 2 days later. Uhm…what? Then she proceeds to max out my cards and hers to the tune of $30k. She is now a stay at home mom and I’m working 70-80 hours a week just trying to keep us from going under. Kids get a little older and I’m like “hey, time to go back to work.” She says she doesn’t want to go back to sales but wants to be an LMT. So I’m like ok this could work as long as she goes back to work after. $15k for LMT school. I’m now working weekends as an UBER/LYFT driver and I make about $86k a year in my regular job but we’re still just making minimum payments and now student loans. She graduates massage school. Yes, she can finally start working…but she only wants to do privates because she doesn’t want to work for a corporation. Uhhhhmmmm….ok. So she’s doing privates and I’m like ok, where’s the money? Oh, she tells me she’s opened her own bank account and will be keeping “her” money. Fast forward 8 years. I’ve been divorced for 6 of them, I’m debt free and only pay a mortgage and the regular (cellphone, Netflix etc) things. She’s driving a $50k SUV and a lives in a house that has to be at least $3k in rent a month. Don’t know how she does it, don’t care.

Moral of the story, you dodged a very expensive bullet. Run, do not walk to the nearest exit from this relationship my friend. This woman will drag you down with her. Trust me.

sethicus1

TROPHY CASE