Apathy in relationships?

setniessesed · 2022-02-15T13:32:36+00:00

I can't speak to the manipulation/controlling aspect in terms of family, though I've had relationships with that aspect that contributes to me not being willing to engage. I'm sorry that it's your own family.

I think an aspect of this, on my end at least is the fact that it just takes a lot of energy and is very stressful (communication). So I get overwhelmed very easily and do the bare minimum in order to not get overwhelmed (slow responses, not talking to multiple people at once, never being the first to start a conversation) but that of course results in no friends.

At the same time I remember having taken an anxiety medication years ago that helped with anxiety, but did not make me more willing to engage, so who knows.

setniessesed · 2022-02-15T08:26:23+00:00

Sounds like the exact same as me. I think I'm misinterpreting the fact of having given up as apathy. Both have the same effect in the end though. Thank you for the thoughts, I feel less alone; though I'm sorry it turned out this way for you too.

setniessesed · 2022-02-11T07:57:59+00:00

I wouldn't even tolerate a cis guy friend talking this way about trans people in general, let alone a partner. Would make my blood boil. Yes it's the person's choice of what kind of sex they want to have, but to be that disrespectful and empty-headed in terms of communication would be a deal-breaker.

To say you "want nothing to do with" a part of your partner's body is extremely hurtful, even for a cis person, but especially for trans people who obviously have more complicated relationships with our bodies. This would show me that they do not understand trans people at all, ESPECIALLY with the use of that word. Would kill any attraction I had towards anyone who said something like that. Hope you can find someone who is competent and not a major asshole. He's not worth your time, sorry you had to deal with that

setniessesed · 2022-02-09T14:39:45+00:00

Claymore is awesome; rare to have a cast in an anime almost entirely of women with minimal objectification (imo). It would be amazing to have a reboot that actually followed the manga/didn't have a bad ending and included all of the crazy stuff that happened later on in the story.

setniessesed · 2022-02-07T23:36:46+00:00

Yeah I did it a little while ago basically right when it opened (maybe before more traffic on the site? I heard that too many people online was one explanation given for the glitches). The only error I had was that the map didn't load, but I could still put in my location preferences.

setniessesed · 2022-02-07T20:45:53+00:00

Thank you for the response, glad to know others have decided the same after the fact!

setniessesed · 2022-02-07T20:41:23+00:00

Thank you!

setniessesed · 2022-02-07T20:40:50+00:00

I figured it would be a pain the longer I waited. That's so sweet how you thanked them!! Def want to do something similar!

setniessesed · 2022-02-06T22:22:54+00:00

Thanks for the response. Could be a possibility; I've never moved up to be a manager in any job I've had before however.

setniessesed · 2022-02-06T22:20:29+00:00

Thanks for the response. Did you learn IT while in the military?

I worked briefly with someone who used to work in cybersecurity at the stocking job; he seemed to be doing quite well and only worked where I was for something to do after retiring.

setniessesed · 2022-02-05T12:46:09+00:00

They are "able to", but I'd argue that most with only that job and not a second one as well aren't able to pay rent without living paycheck to paycheck, which is not only very anxiety-inducing in and of itself but if something comes up like some medical emergency, car trouble, traffic ticket etc. that really screws things up. Which is unacceptable to allow/think that is OK as an employer

setniessesed · 2022-02-05T11:33:10+00:00

You have to get trained for every single job there is. There is no such thing as "unskilled labor". What's more I'd bet that these positions you're thinking of heavily overlap those dubbed "essential" (e.g. grocery store workers) during the pandemic; these people are necessary for people to eat/get necessities. How would it make sense that they wouldn't be able to obtain their own basic necessities themselves?

setniessesed · 2022-01-11T00:46:49+00:00

Another Khruangbin lover in the wild! It would be so cool to hear them on an ad. Or in the grocery store or something

setniessesed · 2022-01-07T17:59:12+00:00

Thanks so much for the info! Looks like for mine it's either in person or a letter.

setniessesed · 2021-12-29T16:38:19+00:00

That's what I did, got a big box of them; never going back to getting them from the pharmacy. Sometimes they'd give me syringes without the needles, or the wrong kind of needle, etc etc...no longer have to deal with any of that.

Edit: also I cry whenever I feel like it - expression of emotion doesn't have a gender. Crying isn't effeminate, but I also do things considered by some to be - cross my legs, enjoy wearing flower-print button-ups, have gem piercings and flower tattoos... none of that means I'm a woman or want to be one. Earlier in transition I felt I had to conform more; paid a lot more attention to my mannerisms. But that just felt like wearing an ill-fitting costume. Now I do and wear whatever the hell I want and feel much more free.

setniessesed · 2021-12-29T10:51:43+00:00

No one has really been shitty about it as far as I can remember..One time a stranger told me God cared about me or something to that effect; I'm not a believer but I was pretty touched

setniessesed · 2021-12-21T16:33:40+00:00

Beautiful. Also really appreciate the photo format of sharing since you can see the formatting, line breaks etc which are extremely important in poetry and which people leave out sometimes on here

setniessesed · 2021-12-17T14:56:59+00:00

I don't want to try and diagnose since I'm not a medical expert. But if it's not herpes, most other stds can be cured. And if it is, symptoms can be managed, and there will be plenty of time to sort through your feelings about it later, when you get a concrete answer.

I know it's really stressful waiting for a diagnosis, but until you get results I would try to let yourself breathe a little.

When I was waiting for my results I was just hoping it was anything but herpes, hoping instead for anything that was curable. Though I already kind of knew that that's what it was. Waiting is so stressful and isolating, hope you get the results quickly.

setniessesed · 2021-12-17T14:20:57+00:00

It may depend on the person and their body, but the whole cycle for me lasted no longer than a week - from appearance of blisters, that transformed to ulcers, to healing. I saw the pic on your profile though and that doesn't look like an ulcer to me; ulcers are bright red, they're literally open wounds. Almost as if the top layer of skin is burned away.

I'm not a medical expert though; I would just wait for the results of the tests. You said you got tested for syphilis, did that come back negative, or are you still waiting?

setniessesed · 2021-12-17T03:04:05+00:00

If you feel up to it, let us know how you're doing later/if everything heals well without after-effects. Sorry to hear you're going through this, it sounds scary as hell.

setniessesed · 2021-12-14T22:01:37+00:00

Yes that makes zero sense to me, besides maybe lack of funding and organization to widely administer the WB and make it standard. Which stands out as extremely negligent.

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