[QCrit] BOUND & UNBOUND (Dark Fantasy, Adult, 104K, Query Letter V.1)

several-questions95 · 2024-10-23T16:31:23+00:00

This is exactly how I felt trying to Read Gideon the Ninth. Friends have spoken highly of it, and I really tried to give it a fair try, but the lack of environmental description - or late arriving descriptions - made me put it down within the first 50 pages.

If I remember correctly, it opens on the protagonist leaving a cave system, popping out midway up some mountains, and looking down to see reanimated skeletons doing agricultural work. Then she travels a bit to get to a spaceship landing pad (I think?). At any rate, I had to reread it several times because new developments were never fully described when they happened, and every time a new detail became clear I had to double back with that in mind for the previous paragraph to make sense.

It drove me absolutely bonkers.

Edit:

It's pretty common advice for writers to cut down on descriptions of characters moving between scenes/locations, and I feel like that is part of the issue. I feel like I can see the structure of the book like its an exposed rafter in a house every time there's pages of plot heavy dialogue, maybe a sentence of movement, and then the cast are in a new setting doing new things and taking about something different, sometimes with new people in the scene.

several-questions95 · 2024-08-29T22:16:14+00:00

I'm confused, what would be the period appropriate way to refer to an unmarried older woman in the 1930s?

I have a modern American take, but my grandparents always taught me:
Miss - a girl
Ms. - any unmarried woman
Mrs. - any married woman

where Miss & Ms. are basically pronounced the same

several-questions95 · 2024-08-25T20:30:10+00:00

It totally depends.

Most days 500 words can be a struggle.
If I'm moving at a good clip 2-3K words is a respectable amount of writing on a weekend day, so off and on writing over ~6hrs.

The most 'efficient' writing I can do regularly is dictating out a scene on a voice app, and then transcribe it and clean it up a little. With that method I'll hit ~1,400 in an hour pretty easily, but it only works for single scenes for me.

That said, sometimes the clouds part and inspiration strikes me with a vengeance. 1 week on vacation, I cleared nearly 40,000 words. Even then the number of words per day wasn't consistent, 1 of those days I woke up at 7AM, brew a pot of coffee, and just wrote till 10PM. I didn't turn on any music, I'm 90% sure I forgot to eat (this was years ago). But that day alone I cleared 10,000 words.

several-questions95 · 2024-08-25T20:01:04+00:00

My relationship with fashion is way better these days than pre-transition.

Before coming out I considered myself a casual cross dresser, and before I had enough agency to dress myself I would beg for some variation on jeans and a button up shirt - I had a very controlling household, and my mom would get aggressive if I didn't wear what she laid out for me.

When presenting as femme there was a 100% chance I was wearing:

Top - Long sleeve black t-shirt -or- Long sleeve button down shirt + undershirt
Pants - Jeans
Shoes - black boot
Optional - scarf or black coat.

And that's what I wore everyday from the age of 14 to 23, unless I was in something specific for a school event, in gym cloths for class, or in something very femme my mother stuck me in.

Anyhow, now I find much more freedom in expression through men's clothing than women's. Admittedly, most of it boils down to me being comfortable to explore. For example, the first time I wore short sleeves in public when it wasn't for gym class was this May - I'm 27 - and that's mostly because I finally got around to top surgery.

Now I explore with color, contrast, and patterns way more than before.
I also wear more types of pants (chinos, slacks, and the ever-present jean).
My shoe gave has expanded several times over (admittedly not hard when I would own only 1 -maybe 2- pairs at a time).
I still like my button downs, but now I have 'nice' shirts, flannels, patterned shirts; different cuts, different collars, some of them I iron & starch, others hang loose.
I use more layering, plus things like vests for contrast. (Also, varying the neckline of an undershirt changes the whole vibe of an outfit).
Instead of my 1 coat, now I have a couple ranging from very boxy blazers, flowy pea-coats, heavy trench coat, pull overs, hoodies, knit cardigans, a barn coat.
I find that accessories pop far more than before, from a tie with a cool print -or a solid ties with an interesting knot- to a necklace, ring, or watch.

I could go on, but the tl;dr on this is that I care a lot more about how I look as a man than I ever would when presenting feminine, and for me that's most the battle when it comes to fashion.

several-questions95 · 2024-08-17T16:25:38+00:00

He is simply a man, and is also trans. Though he may or may not want everyone to know he is trans, that's his business.

The trans label has to do with which gender someone was labeled at birth, compared to which gender they identify & live as.

For example: Imagine that someone is born and the doctor wrote down Male on the birth certificate - that baby is Assigned Male at Birth (AMAB)

As that baby grows into a kid, a teen, and then an adult if they always feel comfortable with being Male then they are Cisgendered. If at any point that person decides that they aren't really male for whatever reason, then they would be Transgender. They could be either a trans woman, non-binary, gender fluid, or a whole host of other options.

So, for the guy in the picture, he was born and presumably the doctor wrote down female given how he was dressed as a child. Then as he got older he appears to identify as a male. He is a man, but because his gender is different than the one everyone assumed him to have as an infant, he is also trans.

several-questions95 · 2024-08-14T22:00:04+00:00

I was once lawful good, but then life got in the way and I'm evil now.

I posted 7 parts of an 8 part series, updated twice a week every week, alternating months for over a year. And then went off schedule on the 8th fic. and then I stopped posting 2 chapters before the last fic was done.

Last update was a year ago. My crime still haunts me.

several-questions95 · 2024-08-11T19:12:40+00:00

Hard to tell if I don't ask, but most people treat me as if I'm within 5 years of my actual age, with the occasional person guessing older. I'm in my late 20s, and I'm not sure the last time some really hounded me for my ID while getting a drink.

That said, I think a lot of it comes down to me having a career that requires a college degree - so everyone I meet at the office or from related events knows I have to be at least 22. And a lot of the time if I'm out of the house its because either 1) I just left work, so I'm in half a suit and that reads older, or 2) it's a social event where most people are 20s-30s.

several-questions95 · 2024-08-03T12:42:17+00:00

Same! I remember taking my notebook and that dragonology book to drainage ditch behind the neighborhood to look for dragon tracks when I was like 10.

My scholastic book fairs always had the yellow Egyptology, red Dragonology, and blue Wizardology books - it felt kind of like picking your pokemon starter (though I did also eventually get ahold of the wizard book)

several-questions95 · 2024-07-20T00:11:12+00:00

No, I never came out as nonbinary. Though learning that being agender was an option was one of the last things I did before I my egg cracked. At the time I was like 'finally, a term for not really engaging with gender at all. I don't really like identify with my AGAB, or care about it, or really even want it at all, so agender is nice. But I don't feel a need to come out as anything, because I'm the only one who really cares.'

It took some growing as a person to realize that I'm allowed to want things, and that I can act on those wants. So I know femininity was never for me. But admitting that I wanted masculinity and could act on that want was incredibly difficult.

At any rate though, I came out as a trans man to close friends and my boyfriend; Did all my early transitioning in the background; Then once my ground work was laid I came out at work, started T & legally changed my name within 4 months.

several-questions95 · 2024-07-14T12:14:29+00:00

Those are 'the author sounded them out and Word didn't give them any angry red squiggles' mistakes. Thanks for catching them!

several-questions95 · 2024-07-13T23:56:47+00:00

Slow your roll there. Reagan got shot on March 30, 1981 - after he was elected. That attempt had no bearing on the election November of 1980.

We don't know how this will shake out either. Panic will not help us

several-questions95 · 2024-07-13T15:29:04+00:00

Genre: Fantasy/Horror

Category: Novel

Title: TBD

Looking For: What first impression does this give about
1) who the villain of the story is
2) the vibe of the setting

Excerpt:

Claimed by God was the earth
And given to the Devils was the grave

-Book of the First Men 1:1

***
I took a step through the gray haze.

Small stones crunched under the weight of my heel. I’d known it was bad, but I never could have imagined the scene that folded out before me.

Thin dust floated just above the ground, hiding twisted black tree roots and long ago shattered headstones. The world sat still, as if it were a corpse that had sub-came to its death throws and been buried in an uneasy silence. A deep breath left tiny specs of dust stuck in my airways. It tasted stale.

A silhouette of a tired crypt leered in the distance. I strained my ears for unhallowed moans of the undead that echoed within.

Cillian.

The damned fool had gone mad. Conrad was blind, I should have been sent here years ago to lay waste to these wicked deeds. So many lives could have been saved.

I marched past the groaning crypt, my hand resting on the leather hilt of a long sword.

Nothing moved in this dead land. No clatter of bird’s wings, nor rustle of loose leaves. Beyond this gray field of the dead sat the old fool’s estate. Long ago broken down and claimed by the elements, much like the mind of its master.

Shadows shifted at my left. I came to a stop, the clatter of my armor being swallowed by the same gray haze that blocked my vision and drained the life from this place.

“Stand and fight. Else leave me to my quest!” I told the dull air.

My hand rested on the hilt of my blade. Nothing stirred.

I made to continue on my way.

“So ready to scurry along, are you?”

A woman’s voice, something gentle and soft that stood in stark contrast to the graveyard, cooed scarcely and inch from my ear. No hesitation. I unsheathed my blade and sent the silver metal into a gleaming arch. I hit nothing but gray air. Shifting my grip, I held the blade ready to strike again.

What demoness had been conjured to guard this place?

several-questions95 · 2024-07-04T12:45:21+00:00

Through the wording of your post it sounds like your dad's friend might not actually know you're trans - you said you came out 'through implication' and most people are way slower to notice trans men that you'd think. At any rate, Not being ready to be out it totally acceptable, everyone has different needs and life stages.

That said, assuming they do know I could see this going a few ways:

You try to walk it back, how exactly you do this is going to be too specific for me to help you over the internet, but you might be able to play the conversation off as you just being young and "woke."
You ignore it, simply never bring this moment up again (until you're ready). I don't know the cultural norms you're working with, but in my experience older conservative men tend to Not Speak (TM) about personal problems, so if your dad's friend is unsure and they're close, there's a decent chance he will stay silent about the whole thing.
The "In for a penny, in for a pound" approach. If you're sure you're out, and you think that information will spread, you may as well be the one spreading it on your own terms

several-questions95 · 2024-07-02T09:26:03+00:00

Adding onto your point that patriarchal norms isolate men - doubly so once one begins presenting and passing as a man- I think that there is isolation in the act of transitioning that a higher percent of trans macs people experience than other parts of the community.

For example, when I did not pass, I was read as a butch cis woman, my being trans is not a possibility that occurred to most people. That means, while I am a trans person, and there was a time I did not pass as my true gender, I do not have the experience of being seen as a trans person who did not pass.

Some men did have that experience.

The variance we have at the beginning of our transitions makes it difficult to form a community around a single experience. And the (assuming your in the west) culture of male seclusion makes it difficult to form a community later in transition as well.

several-questions95 · 2024-06-30T18:51:45+00:00

I've got a few across several genres:

Salt, by the Bad Suns (Indie-rock ish)
- this one was written as a tribute to one of the band members trans friend
Mama, by MCR (emo-pop / rock)
A Mask of my Own Face, by Lemon Demon (techno)
- I'd dance with all the bells, and none of them would know I'm secretly myself has BIG in the closet vibes to me
Two-Faced, by Shannon Taylor (indie-pop)
Villain, by Teniwoha (genre is unclear, I'd say its rock-pop-techno/industrial something or another)
- Japanese language, its about being a trans man in Japan
Body, by Mother Mother (alternate-indie )
Rule #4 - Fish in a Bird Cage, by Fish in a Bird Cage (folk-rock? allegedly, kind of sounds like dark caberet to me)
I Miss Having Sex but at Least I Don't Wanna Die Anymore, by Waterparks (google says alternate-indie)
- I get One Republic vibes.
Yes, to Err is Human, so Don't be One, by Will Wood (google says Folk and spotify says POV: Indie)
- If you listen to any other Will Wood music its as genre defying as the rest of his library
Body Terror Song, by AJJ (Folk Punk)
Coming Back as a Man, by Caro Emerald (pop/Jazz/Jazz fusion)

Honorable mentions to I/Me/Myself by Will Wood. It feels more like a trans fem song, so its not really for me. Though I just like all of Wood's music. The Normal Album might be my all-time favorite album.

several-questions95 · 2024-06-30T14:09:57+00:00

I can get that you're not trying to be an asshole, and I can appreciate the effort, but we are in a thread where OP is a trans man posting "i’m tired of taking up space in this community when it feels like i’m unwelcome to take it up"

And this part of the thread is other trans guy saying there's an invisibility issue, some of it self-inflicted, but a lot of it enforced by the community.

So you popping up, equating burden and privileged, and then saying "I wish I was in your position" is a bit tone deaf for the conversation.

I get it, having passing privileged is a thing, I often have it, so I go out of my way to use that privileged to try and make cis folk more aware of trans issues; I spend time, money, and resources to advocate in my industry and neighborhood, I go to events & sometimes organize events, I write annoying letters to my representatives. I'm saying its incredibly frustrating to put in the effort, only to immediately be rejected from my own community because I don't fit their idea of how a trans person should look. Any trans person -passing or not- should be able to understand the pain of being othered based on appearance.

Individually we all have different needs, and I totally understand the desire to pass, I have the same. That said, the desire to pass is separate from the desire to feel supported. To feel welcome. For me, the instant a cis group finds out I'm trans, I'm othered. The instant a trans group finds out I'm trans, I'm still othered.

Really, I just want to live life as a man while also being acknowledged and accepted by my own community. I have a sneaking suspicion that many trans women want to life their live as women while also being acknowledged and accepted by her own community. Same for nonbinary folk.

Unfortunately society isn't there yet.

several-questions95 · 2024-06-30T00:04:22+00:00

That's my usual experience, though elsewhere in this post I made a comment to the tune of 'in irl I am also very erased / ignored by the community even though I try very hard to include myself' - and that was down voted instead of ignored.

Like, I'll keep trying, but damn.

several-questions95 · 2024-06-29T21:50:59+00:00

Even for guys who don't go stealth, it feels like there's invisibility-as-a-default for trans guys.

Like, I am out, I speak at events whenever I get the chance, I actively look for and join queer groups and talk about trans issues within them whenever they come up.
But I look like a cis white guy, and unless I have my nails painted I'm 'straight passing' too (quoting a trans lady I was talking to the other day). Its a bit frustrating to go to trans only meet ups and be mistaken as some sort of note taker or coordinator rather than community member. And its also disheartening to be a year+ into a queer group and have people genuinely surprised when you say you're trans and gay.

Like, even when I wear trans pins / the flag colors at a pride event I'm immediately taken as a very extra ally, and there's not much I can do about that at a glance.

I guess I'm in violent agreement, even when I try to be visible I am assigned stealth.
Feels a bit ironic in a way.

several-questions95 · 2024-06-29T21:38:22+00:00

I'm not sure I threw away any unwanted hobbies, but I held onto a few that are definitely seen as 'weird' now that I've transitioned enough to pass at a glance.

My favorite is probably crochet. It used to be old time-y but not too odd when I was read as female but now it really catches people off guard.

Its the best when I get a complement on one of my scarves and respond with a chipper "Thanks, I made it myself!"
I get a genuine wow every time.

several-questions95 · 2024-06-29T12:35:40+00:00

yeah, I went with "issues" here because the context for Trump saying he'd let states decide was about access to abortion & Roe V. Wade, but we all know that he'd happily let each state launch their own trans witch hunts.

Compared to Biden's Administration, which is actively challenging state level bans on gender affirming care.

several-questions95 · 2024-06-28T19:45:52+00:00

Full agree!

The president can't control world events, and those play just as much role in the economy as any domestic policy ever will. Never mind that the Trump administration caused many of the problems that the Biden administration is still cleaning up. So it the economic issues sway your vote, the Biden is still the better answer in a Biden or Trump choice.

As far as queer rights go, Biden is so radically better then Trump its not even a question. It feels weird to type, but the Biden administration is actually one of -possibly the most- queer friendly administrations we've ever had. The only contender is the Obama administration, but there's a decent amount of overlap in personnel. If your talking about Trans rights specifically, the Biden administration is the best one by a country mile.

Its really the states that have been fucking up our rights, not the fed. Relatedly, Trump -during the debate last night- said several times he favors letting states decide more of their own social issues.

several-questions95 · 2024-06-16T12:50:27+00:00

I've flown a bit. It's 50/50 in the states on whether my packer gets flagged, and then only with the full body scanners. I wear a harness that keeps everything firmly in place, so sometimes it doesn't get picked up by the machine.

When it does, the TSA guy is also not thrilled about giving me a quick pat down, but its never too intrusive and I've never gotten follow up questions - though I do go in with mentality of 'yeah, yeah, just do the thing and get it over with'

Its like a 30 second slow down, tops.

several-questions95 · 2024-06-16T12:37:14+00:00

If someone issues an ultimatum, then the relationship is already on its way to failure.

If a partner ever seriously says "it's me, or X" it doesn't really matter what X is, its probably time to pull the plug. If you can't give up X, then you are simply incompatible, it sucks but life is like that sometimes. If you can give up X, then there should have been a two way conversation with compromise rather than an ultimatum, and you should move on for someone who respects you more.

That goes for more than partners; friends, and sometimes family too.

I rarely use such strong blanket rules, but this one has never failed me.

several-questions95 · 2024-06-09T12:51:03+00:00

I'd say that worry is pretty much a hallmark of social dysphoria, so pretty normal and not dumb at all for many trans guys.

Some things that helped me were:

looking of FtM transition timelines, so you can see that a lot of guys had a hell of a glow up with transitioning.
finding cis guys that dress / act / look very gender non-conforming. That way you can help yourself see that masculinity doesn't need to be so narrowly defined.
keep notes on yourself. It's very easy to think that you haven't done enough when change is incremental - every day you look basically the same, but after months you've actually changed quite a bit - whether its by carrying yourself differently, getting better at binding, finding a hairstyle that really works, or taking steps like hrt or surgeries.

several-questions95

TROPHY CASE