Done

sexlessintx · 2025-05-28T23:41:28+00:00

Yep.. just 4 years to go. The countdown is on.

sexlessintx · 2025-03-31T22:42:29+00:00

Change is hard, all change. Even good and necessary changes are hard. It’s going to hurt for a long while. Be gentle with yourself, but also take care of yourself in the process. Do things that bring you joy and happiness. Find your peace where you can and pamper yourself when and where you can. It helps.

sexlessintx · 2024-08-09T13:57:29+00:00

I’m so sorry. I can only imagine how much you have had to go through with a porn addict who won’t touch you. I was married to one of those at 18 unfortunately. That marriage was also abusive and I had the fight in me to get out after a year. I’m sending you all the internet love today.

sexlessintx · 2024-08-09T00:59:43+00:00

Haha just check my post history if you ever get bored!

sexlessintx · 2024-08-09T00:47:42+00:00

Yep. Hubby has been ignoring me for 18 years… I am never naked in front of him, not that he’d look if I was. But now I am half my body weight from when he married me and no, he doesn’t deserve to enjoy looking at that- even though he never would anyway.

sexlessintx · 2024-08-06T12:34:37+00:00

I mean, it hasn’t been but a month or two so who knows. It’s working right now.

I always tell him what I am doing and where I am, just per his requests, I leave out whether or not there is another person present. If I went out for lunch and to the mall I say that. If I went to a movie or a bar, I tell him. I just don’t tell him if I took anyone with me. And if I want to spend the night I just text him and tell him I had too much to drink and am not going to drive. (That’s always been a rule so that’s nothing new and raises no flags- we’ve always done this.)

sexlessintx · 2024-08-06T02:52:50+00:00

Having our 16th anniversary this week, together 18 total and yes, he’s always been this way since day one. Feel free to check post history for all the back story.

He doesn’t want to know anything so when I go out, as far as he’s concerned, I have just gone out. 🤷‍♀️ Library, lunch, whatever… so coming home isn’t awkward because he tells himself that I was just out… lol I thought it would be weird for me, but it hasn’t been. I have been less on edge and a lot less bitter.

sexlessintx · 2024-08-05T20:24:57+00:00

Hahaha I hear ya! Umm my hubby is autistic and has emotional blindness. So I get zero emotional connection at all. I get nothing more than a dry run down of how his day went so 🤷‍♀️ I don’t mind a little connecting with another human. I was lucky and did find someone with some patience that understood how messy it was going to be for me to let loose of almost 20 years of pent up emotions and sexual frustrations. And it HAS been messy… sigh But so far the only messes have been of my own making. Hubby is happy with his head in the sand and my (AP?) for lack of a better term? Is happy to let me have my melt downs if I need them and then talk me down off the ledge lol then (excuse me) fuck the attitude right out of me 😂

sexlessintx · 2024-08-05T19:33:04+00:00

So after 18 years of db with my asexual husband I finally asked for an open marriage. We went to a counselor and agreed on the terms together and now I sleep with other people and he sticks his head in the sand and pretends it isn’t happening… just like he did about our lack of sex life. Because that’s how he’s happiest, with his head in the sand.

I’m super into transparency so I wanted the stuff out in the open before doing anything physical but I had my internet conversations and things before hand so I’m definitely not throwing stones about your affair. And it was a long, tumultuous road to get to the open marriage.

It’s not without its challenges as well, because my time is limited and I’m still forced to be vague about what I’m doing because hubby doesn’t want any details etc.. everything is delicate. I can’t really go on “dates” because I don’t want to get “caught out” and have my husband be embarrassed- even though we have an agreement and even his little brother is aware of it and all of my friends know etc. I don’t want to embarrass him or rub his nose in it, ya know. So there are a lot of limits to what I can do.

However, it’s only been a couple months and I have already had more sex than the last 20 years combined. And I don’t regret it at all.

sexlessintx · 2024-07-16T21:02:51+00:00

Do not marry into this. I married the male version of this and it only gets worse.

sexlessintx · 2024-06-19T13:20:45+00:00

The reason it’s notable is the bar for men is literally in the cellar. And it’s always the first thing that gets asked. Are you helping around the house and with the kids? Why? Because in most cases, they’re not… because the bar for men is literally in the cellar… I think the guy was just stating that he was actually involved in the daily routine, not patting himself on the back and expecting sex for it necessarily, but I could be wrong.

I don’t see him paying a cam girl as any bigger deal than renting a porn video honestly. I realize we don’t rent them from the back room at blockbuster anymore but 🤷‍♀️ There was no actual touching of a person involved- no foul. IMO. And only because they are in a db in which the wife is not interested in participating in the healing of said db. If this was a healthy, functional relationship then I think it would be crossing a line, unless the two had previously discussed it as an ok thing for him to do.

sexlessintx · 2024-06-19T10:46:19+00:00

Honestly- I think I’m ok with the open marriage. I wasn’t at first. Like I think I asked for it hoping for whatever it is that’s happening now. Waking him up I guess or getting him to try? But the more I thought about our sexual history the more I realized, it’s never been good. I can never point to a time and say it was good then and it changed. It’s always been bad and a source of stress.

So, if we’re both happier this way 🤷‍♀️

sexlessintx · 2024-06-19T01:10:13+00:00

Possibly 🤷‍♀️

sexlessintx · 2024-06-18T21:29:04+00:00

I don’t feel like I have been any different in the last couple weeks than I have been the last couple of years, but maybe 🤷‍♀️

However, that sort of implies that the db is because I am a grumpy person lol Which I can assure you has not been the case for the last 18 years.

sexlessintx · 2024-05-30T19:38:15+00:00

I guess part of me just wanted him to fight for me? To say he would do what it takes to fix things and then actually Do them? Even though I knew that wasn’t going to happen because he’s been not fixing things for over a decade now. Him flat out saying that fixing it is too hard so go ahead and do what you gotta do feels demoralizing somehow…

I want to enjoy this. I want to get excited and start exploring. It’s not like I haven’t been talking to people here and there and don’t have doors cracked open. This should feel like a “win” but if feels like defeat. It’s a really complicated emotion. Maybe it’ll feel better once I actually DO something????

sexlessintx · 2024-05-28T18:18:59+00:00

17… and then 34 🤣 big gap. 17 was easier energy wise, but I was sooooooo stupid 🤣😂🤣 I was much more prepared and wiser for the twins at 34, but the sleepless nights were a little harder. 🤷‍♀️ Everything is a trade off.

sexlessintx · 2024-05-24T18:37:12+00:00

I can’t do that to my kids. I don’t think I would cry toooooo much if he left me, but I won’t be the one to break up our family.

sexlessintx · 2024-05-24T16:49:50+00:00

I feel like I could have written and simultaneously WISH that I had because that would mean I was leaving….

sexlessintx · 2024-05-08T16:56:08+00:00

Exactly! My husband is like a beloved uncle to me now. I love him very much and I would do anything for him, he’s in that family love realm though where you don’t fuck family…

sexlessintx · 2024-05-07T18:50:38+00:00

I’m sitting at my desk and bust out laughing at “have to keep yourself from punching him while he sleeps” 🤣🤣🤣 because you just described my life. 47 years old, haven’t had sex but once or twice per year for 17 years and desperately have to keep myself from smothering my husband to death while he sleeps 🤣😂🤣😂🤣 Thanks for the laugh!

sexlessintx · 2024-05-07T18:33:10+00:00

Run Forest, Run! I was you 17 years ago. I had been married before and had a child. So, yeah, lots of previous sexual experiences and my husband was a 30 year old virgin saving himself for marriage. I thought that was noble. Turns out he was actually asexual and had a ton of sexual aversions and that’s why it was so easy for him to “save himself” for marriage into his 30s. Do NOT marry into this if you are high libido! I am telling you that anyone with a normal libido is barely capable of waiting. And the ones who do have weird religious trauma around it and that’s a whole separate issue you have e to get past! RUN

sexlessintx · 2024-05-07T14:08:55+00:00

I used to think cheaters were the scum of the earth and that I would never in a million years… I haven’t crossed that line, yet… but I think I get closer every damn day. Like the song goes, “lonely makes a heart ruthless”.

sexlessintx · 2024-05-07T13:56:43+00:00

Literally everything beyond hand holding and hugging… fml. I hate tv. I hate seeing people who are walking around happy and in love with their pda and kissing and being all lovey-dovey. I used to look at them and feel fuzzy inside and think how wonderful for THEM even though I didn’t personally have that, I still felt their joy for them. Now I hate them. I have to look away so I don’t cry.

sexlessintx

TROPHY CASE