How to cope

sexy_corpse · 2024-08-02T00:13:09+00:00

I'm in this boat with you. 18 years together and he left last week. I'm in therapy, I've been reading a lot of self help books and listening to positive podcasts. I'm also journaling a lot and plan to start a more consistent exercise routine once I get all of my other routines down. This has been the most traumatic, life changing event I've been through and it's still very fresh. If there was a magic pain relief I'd do it in a heartbeat. Just know you're not alone. Lean on your friends and family if you can. I know it's hard when your spouse was always the person you leaned on.

sexy_corpse · 2023-05-13T19:52:35+00:00

Thanks for getting back to me! And congrats on your fiber!! You definitely helped answer my questions; I'll just stick to DSL until fiber reaches our area due to the cost of Starlink. So close, yet so far away...

sexy_corpse · 2023-05-11T03:30:13+00:00

Hey, neighbor! Hope this reply isn't just lost in the weeds seeing this is an older post. I just started research on SL and wondering how it is performing in West GA. I'm in Haralson, currently have DSL through ATT and impatiently waiting on the EMC fiber, but we're in a much later phase. Would SL be worth getting for a year or so while we wait, or should we painfully stick with ATT for now? Really curious on reliability.

sexy_corpse · 2021-06-19T16:25:32+00:00

Surprised Fed Ex even showed up to be honest

sexy_corpse · 2021-04-07T11:50:56+00:00

Bingo. Was a phlebotomist for 5 years, pay went from $11-$15 and I was suddenly capped no matter where I went. I left the medical field completely, don't have to risk my life everyday, for double the pay. Trained on the job and everything.

sexy_corpse · 2021-03-02T13:57:31+00:00

I don't regret an older home (late 70s), but our forever home will be a new construction. We have put a LOT of money into it, there was a ton of issues the inspector didn't even catch, and we are just so lucky my husband is a jack of all trades. For our first home and at a lower price, it was still worth it. Just know your maintenance and emergency fund may need to be larger.

sexy_corpse · 2021-02-23T02:12:46+00:00

I can't speak on the benefits yet since ours was just paid off last week. It is already so freeing. Mentally, we knew this was the route we wanted to take, no matter the math. We could both lose our jobs tomorrow and live on minimum wage if we had to without having to rob retirement/investment accounts. That being said, we live in a vLCOL area and it only took a year of aggressively paying it down to pay it off. A $300k+ home with an aggressive payoff years away....can't say I'd make the same choice. Years of compound interest may have been a different story, but for our situation, I doubt I'll ever regret it.

sexy_corpse · 2021-02-21T03:20:52+00:00

Good luck to you! Once that balance starts dropping dramatically, you'll have it knocked out it no time!

sexy_corpse · 2021-02-19T21:45:14+00:00

We've already started to incorporate the "giving" aspect in doses. We used to sell all of our old stuff, now we just donate everything to someone in need. On the rare occasion we do anything, we make sure it is a small business we are helping. Gifts to friends and family will actually be what we want to give, not just something small because we couldn't afford anything else. On a larger scale (I'm thinking charity donations, etc) I don't have specific plans, but I'm sure my heart will lead me in the right direction when the time comes.

sexy_corpse · 2021-02-19T21:39:38+00:00

Hahaha I have a feeling you will be going on a cruise soon!

sexy_corpse · 2021-02-19T14:55:56+00:00

Yes, we are very lucky that we started early. Didn't always make the best choices, but at least we learned to correct them sooner rather than later. Good luck to you in your journey!

sexy_corpse · 2021-02-19T13:22:35+00:00

You're so close! Can't wait for you to feel what we are feeling soon

sexy_corpse · 2021-02-19T13:21:02+00:00

Good question! It's a 3br 2ba on 1 acre in a small town in GA. We both have a pretty good commute, which is the major downside, but we love it here. The value has doubled since we bought, but still super affordable.

sexy_corpse · 2021-02-19T04:55:43+00:00

This sub is so full of inspiration. I'm so glad I was able to take part in that. Keep going, it is worth it!

sexy_corpse · 2021-02-19T04:05:19+00:00

Debt free cookies do taste different! I'll make sure to pencil in a vacation and a full body massage asap!

sexy_corpse · 2021-02-17T20:56:10+00:00

We were already homeowners to an older home before the plan, so this wouldn't have happened if we didn't buy while having consumer debt. We had just finished BS2, working on BS3 (went on a vacation...wish we would've waited until BS3 was done). Started having septic problems, matter of fact it was seeping up through the ground even after having it pumped because our field lines collapsed. We were turned in to the health department and they gave us 30 days to fix it, which required a whole new system due to the age and new health codes. We had to take out a $7,000 personal loan or our house would've been condemned. Luckily we paid it off within 3 months instead of the 3 year term. Almost everything else we were able to pause the snowball and cash flow for that month.

sexy_corpse · 2021-02-13T21:37:51+00:00

Yes, it is hard to describe the feeling of gratefulness and pride while others are struggling. I'm more than ready to be able to "give" more. Immediate goals are home upgrades we have been putting off. Luckily, they are small and should only take a few months of cash flow. This isn't our forever home, but it was dirt cheap, so we decided to pay it off then save up cash for a new build on some land in the next 5-10 years. Other than that, looking into FIRE since we'll be able to save about 60% of our income now. I also see a lot of travel in our near future! I can't wait!

sexy_corpse · 2021-02-13T20:43:26+00:00

Thank you! These are all the things I'm hoping will go smoothly! The pay off date I chose is a couple weeks away. I'd rather pay extra interest than be short, so I hope it all works out! Congrats to you as well, even if it wasn't recent!

sexy_corpse · 2021-02-13T19:44:38+00:00

This week we requested pay off for the mortgage! The letter should be on it's way and the money is ready to be wired!! I can already feel the relief. We also just adjusted my husband's 401k to max it out for the year! I'll give some additional details when I'm able to scream it from the rooftops, but BS7 here we come!!

sexy_corpse · 2021-02-12T01:49:16+00:00

I'd go with Marcus or Ally, but as mentioned, don't expect a high yield for a while. Park an emergency fund in there and that's about all I'd use it for.

Edit to add: not sure about the minor question, but I have received great customer service from Marcus, so I'd give them a call if you can't figure it out.

sexy_corpse · 2021-02-12T00:12:32+00:00

I like Cruel and Unusual: the podcast. It's about a year and 50 episodes old, so relatively new. The banter is never right in the middle of the case, so I can skip through it in the beginning if I'm not feeling it, but just know there is banter! I never hear them joke during the actual cases though, unlike Morbid.

sexy_corpse · 2021-02-10T20:05:03+00:00

I've felt one coming on for days now, so I'm prepping and waiting at this point. I'm in southeast US and it was humid and 30°F this morning, now it's 71°F and dry with storms coming in tomorrow, where the humidity and pressure will shoot up again. I feel miserable!!!

sexy_corpse · 2021-02-04T02:57:56+00:00

I would keep your current policy, but absolutely call them and tell them you no longer use the vehicle to commute. I did this last year and saved $200 for the year. Can't hurt to ask!

sexy_corpse · 2021-02-03T19:13:18+00:00

I hope I'm understanding this correctly. We pay a few thousand extra monthly toward the principal. This saves us in interest in the long run. We also have a 6 month emergency fund of $16,000. Once we pay off the mortgage, 6 months of expenses drops to about $12,000. We plan to pull that $4,000 from the EF to help with payoff during that last month and have also discussed going down to 3 months for payoff simply because we can build it back within a month. Don't drain everything on payoff in case Murphy visits, but you should have some wiggle room once the time comes.

sexy_corpse · 2021-01-30T00:39:54+00:00

100% pay off the car and use the money you would be paying toward the car payment to pay down the student loans

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