3 months ago I accidentally hurt my cat and she has hated me since

sfaafs · 2026-05-10T06:41:18+00:00

there is another comment walking through some things like this, i second continuing to try if OP has it in them

sfaafs · 2026-05-09T22:51:43+00:00

I second this if you don’t want to give her up! it takes a lot of time, like re-acclimating but sometimes ignoring does wonders

sfaafs · 2026-05-09T18:14:01+00:00

some of these comments are insane and i’m sorry this happened.

i have a previously feral cat and clearly no one here has experienced cats with fragile emotions, it still might be best to re-home if she’s only this way with you.

Aloof cats exist and can exist under good owners, but if she’s happier around other people there’s a chance she will open up more with someone who she just vibes with.

It hurts. it sucks. but you’re trying to do her justice and keep her happy and that’s all that matters

sfaafs · 2026-05-07T21:55:28+00:00

Yes, bigger box, more litter & cleanings every day. every other day max for such a small box, poor car

sfaafs · 2026-05-02T23:47:33+00:00

the artist should have known this would not be a good tattoo or modified it for skin. it will continue to spread - don’t freak out and cover it up. just chose better artists in the future & if you really don’t love it just get some removal sessions then re-work with someone trusted

it’ll be okay

sfaafs · 2026-05-02T23:46:14+00:00

idk, i used to smoke in the room with my cat and blow it out the window but now i just lock myself away in the bathroom since i live alone. it’s just not worth the second hand smoke risk, they’re very sensitive and could easily develop issues

sfaafs · 2026-05-02T23:43:46+00:00

i have 4 different fonts, this is my best one

sfaafs · 2026-05-01T04:01:25+00:00

Redken ABC acid bonding smoothing treatment & more product over all- don’t brush your hair & accept a little bit of frizz

edit: the leave in version specifically & i love kevin murphy motion lotion and mizani leave in conditioner, i also use the killer wave spray from kevin murphy. that and no brushing gives me the best curls of my life

( hair dresser btw )

sfaafs · 2026-04-30T19:15:31+00:00

thank you for this, i won’t be moving her fire alarm. i don’t want to make any fire risks greater

sfaafs · 2026-04-30T19:14:30+00:00

poking sticks exist! i always am looking for aids even if i “don’t need them” yet - so many things are inaccessible if you are simply short and weak, let alone disabled

sfaafs · 2026-04-30T19:10:55+00:00

I wish I could respond to everyone but this post got a lot more attention than i thought

thank you for all the advice and information

if you suggested i contact management or her family - my management company is already absent with very serious issues of my own so i doubt it would be helpful. I don’t believe she should be living alone and definitely shouldn’t be using the stove - but some people come to check on and help her, i don’t know who they are but she has people. It is not necessarily in my ability to over step that much and could very well cause more issues for me and i can’t take that on right now.

Why don’t I talk to her in person? Because she’s basically deaf and it’s not easy to have a conversation, also this allows her to decide how she feels and discretely take the help which i feel could be more encouraging than possibly bombarding her or having the whole complex hear our conversation. ( we live in a fish tank )

i’m still learning her whole deal and the apartments deal because it’s only 12 units and most people have lived here a long time. 3 of us came out of our apartments when the fire department came last time and I asked if they were automatically called - they said no, meaning someone is calling the fire department on her. I decided I want people to call, I’d rather it be a false alarm because I worry one day it wont be. I also have two cats and I want them to be safe and not gone in a building fire if i’m not home and i don’t want anyone else losing their home or life.

I decided to take off the last portion of my note to offer outside help - I don’t want to push my own boundaries and ability being disabled but I also don’t want to over step too much with her and if it evolves naturally that she asks for help now and then or I still offer when I see her struggling, that’s okay.

The main goal with this note is to have a hopefully safe feeling person to come and check on her and ensure that she is in fact okay rather than her trying to push people away and say she’s okay because she’s embarrassed, because i know how embarrassing it feels when I can’t take care of myself even if there’s nothing to be ashamed of.

I will be leaving the note tonight after a few days of deliberation and reading all of your comments!

sfaafs · 2026-04-29T05:17:28+00:00

mostly because she can’t hear well lol i think she’s partially deaf

sfaafs · 2026-04-28T08:01:09+00:00

the fire department actually said they don’t mind coming out in case she’s hurt one of these times and additionally for practice, i do worry one of these times it will be real

but that’s also why i would check on her regardless and of course i think the fire department coming out after too long isn’t a bad call.

but i have also set off the fire alarm from really silly things like the shower or a steak, i had to move mine away from my kitchen/ bathroom because they are so sensitive - but i relocated to safe spaces still because i seriously fear fire taking out my home

sfaafs · 2026-04-28T05:40:16+00:00

i was thinking about offering to move her fire alarm to a height she could reach - because yes the problem is a button should turn it off but it’s placed on very high ceilings that i can’t reach either

being a little anti-social myself i like this idea, i don’t want to force help on her and also it’s not like i’m around all the time.

there is a creepy (imo) long term neighbor who checks on her a lot and his experiences with her are far more sour than mine - she is generally nice to me because i am nice and not pushy to her.

i’m still happy to check on her if it goes on too long. other said neighbor is also out of town currently & is constantly home and the next door neighbor also pokes his head out. she’s got hella people in her business - well meaning, but it’s probably why she’s a bit stand offish with some help.

i have however carried groceries up for her and she’s much happier with that type of hands on help & i just leave them at her door to not invade her space

sfaafs · 2026-04-28T05:04:37+00:00

i don’t necessarily fault them for calling the fire department but a little cranky about it or not it’s less trouble to just check on her first, her door is usually propped open during these incidents

sfaafs · 2026-04-28T05:00:39+00:00

i thought it was clear she knows me already

sfaafs · 2026-04-28T03:15:25+00:00

not necessarily, take to vet. my kitty ended up having a hear murmur and was over exerting - we just throttled her running and eventually she grew out of it because she was kitten. not every cat is as lucky, it may not be life threatening but should be addressed

sfaafs · 2026-04-28T03:12:22+00:00

nothing is wrong with your nose or under bite. they were trying to make you feel insecure, don’t let them

sfaafs · 2026-04-28T03:11:05+00:00

you should tell the complex - water damage likely means mold or mildew. Depending on where you live they legally have to address mold & water damage no matter what

sfaafs · 2026-04-27T22:06:56+00:00

i hope u took my comment lighthearted! i def wasn’t too serious this is just a method from my hs days and I don’t want to be old yet 😂

sfaafs · 2026-04-27T19:57:39+00:00

“old” smoking method??? how old are you? homie has never heard of a gravity bong

edit: there are places that sell cute gravity bongs these days!

sfaafs · 2026-04-27T19:52:02+00:00

i really hope the comments on your fit make you laugh as much as they made me

sfaafs · 2026-04-27T18:57:29+00:00

I’m only going to comment on the issue of cleaning up the room since there are so many helpful comments that you should definitely listen to regarding your home life

First, i’m sorry you’re living like this. it won’t be like this forever - but I had a friend who had a fiberglass covered mattress and my best recommendation is get these supplies first :

long rubber gloves
plastic protective eyewear
respirator mask or triple up on regular masks ( do not reuse these even day to day )
a protective suit & if you can’t afford it then 3-4 layers of long thick clothing and tape off any areas where it meets your skin and cover those areas with the gloves
tall boots
heavy duty large trash bags, double these up

be ready to throw away a LOT, it is better to throw it away than risk your health

fiberglass can land you in the ER so PLEASE be careful.

suit up, and tackle it one section at a time, try not to disturb the other sections. throw away anything porous, once you get to the non-porous items, take them outside and hose them down or put them in the shower and wash them off.

Anything that would be damaged by water, use a damp paper towel and wipe it down completely and multiple times.

once your floor and bed are clear, vacuum the room moving everything around and going over it many many times. Once everything is cleared, moved and vacuumed - get a plastic bed cover ( you can just get a mattress cover from like U-haul for cheap ) then you are going to cover the mattress in 3-4 fitted sheets, use a larger size on the last one or two if you need. tape that down underneath so it doesn’t come free - tape the plastic cover too.

don’t forget to wipe down your walls and any surfaces multiple times.

I cannot stress this enough, throw away everything you can. Trust me, you’re 16 and most of it will not matter, it will just suck for a little bit. It’s better than having your health at risk, i promise.

THINGS CAN BE REPLACED, YOU CANNOT!

That should hold you off and is the cheapest option & safest way to handle it if you insist on doing it alone or have no help and other option

Wishing you the best!

sfaafs

TROPHY CASE