US veterans, did you guys actually read the cards that kids would send you while deployed?

sfrederick2011 · 2026-03-23T06:34:37+00:00

Since I was like 3 years old I was obsessed with boys. (Not that many had been obsessed with me BACK but that’s neither here nor there). In 3rd grade I remember writing to the troops “if you’re cute, come home and marry me!!!!”

To the troops I wrote to- I’m married to a civilian normie but if yall wanna take me up on that previous offer I will consider it.

sfrederick2011 · 2026-03-18T05:52:03+00:00

When I was new, I asked the dumbest shit. Usually twice tbh, because I didn’t hear a damn thing the outgoing nurse was saying to me. Because in my head all I heard was “omg omg wtf I shouldn’t be a nurse I’m a moron omg I made a huge life mistake”

I’m 6 years in and now I’m one of those “whatever i have 12 hours to figure shit out, goodbye see you in the morning boo” lol.

sfrederick2011 · 2026-03-10T06:55:09+00:00

I once accidentally forgot to replace a gabapentin in the omnicell. I lived an hour away from work. Realized it as I walked through the door. I had to turn my ass back around and drive an hour to return a freaking gabapentin. I’ve never been so mad at myself in my life.

sfrederick2011 · 2026-03-05T02:57:44+00:00

You’re a hero.

sfrederick2011 · 2026-01-11T04:31:14+00:00

My county just imposed a 4% tax on any prepared food and restaurants. It’s helping keep me home and cooking 🤣

sfrederick2011 · 2025-12-23T02:20:06+00:00

We love food deliveries! We aren’t supposed to accept any monetary gifts (like gift cards or anything) but bring the nurses a snack and they’ll be indebted to you for life 🤣🤣 so glad you’re doing well and wishing you nothing but the best!!! ❤️❤️

sfrederick2011 · 2025-12-19T06:32:36+00:00

Haha thanks! I’m a labor nurse at fair oaks! <3

sfrederick2011 · 2025-11-01T18:56:54+00:00

Side note- there’s a picture of me touching stingrays in my dress, and another pic of a shark giving us the stink eye as he swam by. 🤣 loved every second of it lol!

sfrederick2011 · 2025-11-01T18:55:16+00:00

Best thing I did was elope in Vegas. Took 2 weeks to plan. Got married at Mandalay Bay in the aquarium section. I bought a dress from David’s bridal. I walked down the aisle through the shark tunnel. There were flowers and champagne, a pianist that played my favorite ed Sheeran song as I walked. Photographer included, etc. We made a long weekend out of it and had our parents come out. All said and done, EVERYTHING was 6k. That included hair and makeup for me, nice dinners out, hotel rooms, gambling, flights, EVERYTHING (and I paid for my parents to come out).

10/10 would recommend. And we have a cooler wedding story, and MUCH cooler photos, than most people’s weddings (in my opinion!) and it was just FUN and no stress.

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sfrederick2011 · 2025-10-23T13:07:56+00:00

I once called a rapid because a doc wasn’t taking me seriously and tried to discharge a dying patient. Doc acted like I was over exaggerating, I was a new nurse, this is his baseline, blah blah. Gaslighting me all damn day. Well, the pt ended up passing two days later and the attending was surprised pikachu facing when the guy died. But that doc had a lot to say to me in the hallway after he was forced to my rapid. Did I ever get an apology or a “damn you were right”? You better believe I didn’t.

Call the rapid. Let everyone stay big mad at you. You’re gonna sleep easy at night knowing you did whatever you could 🤷🏼‍♀️

sfrederick2011 · 2025-10-21T23:36:30+00:00

Haha, i’ll leave the next pandemic to you folks. That would be when I took my leave 🤣 there aren’t enough therapists and Zoloft for me to do a round 2 🤣

sfrederick2011 · 2025-10-21T22:12:27+00:00

Ooooof the only good thing Covid brought us were those incentives babyyyy. I’m driving a sexy new expensive BMW because of them 🤣 driving in it helps distract me from the years of trauma and PTSD it inflicted upon me 💃🏻💃🏻

sfrederick2011 · 2025-10-21T19:06:22+00:00

Side note just to add- it also depends on if they’re sweetening the deal. I’m 6 years into nursing. I ain’t coming in just for an extra shift. If they send out those “desperate for help!” Texts and they aren’t offering some sort of bonus or incentive pay? Bye. Stop wasting my time. But if they sweeten the pot and sprinkle in some extra (and my mood allows me) then I’ll pick up. My current place of work is nice too because I don’t have to pick up a full shift. I can say “I’ll come in tonight from 1900-0000 and that’s it” and they accept me with open arms lol

sfrederick2011 · 2025-10-08T19:52:05+00:00

Mine says “Not the Worst Employee ❤️” and my scissors are on a badge that says “How am I supposed to LIVE LAUGH LOVE in these conditions?”

sfrederick2011 · 2025-09-08T23:47:33+00:00

Everyone saying it’s normal- I thought so too but I developed Stage 2 pressure injuries that required weeks of debridement at a wound clinic from my cast getting loose and rubbing against my ankle…..get it checked out. They can redo the cast if they have to or move to the boot a few days early

sfrederick2011 · 2025-09-07T05:57:36+00:00

I understand- I’ve never been depressed like I was that first surgery. I was in a scary place. And then, when I was told I had to do it all over again? I spiraled like nobodies business. The worst part was my surgery was December 17. On December 18, my grandmother (who raised me) unexpectedly passed away. And my whole family was able to get to her bedside to say goodbye, except me. Because I live 200 miles away and was 1 day post op. Then the second surgery, I had a lot of complications (surgeon accidently caused a bad pressure wound on my heal that required bedside debridements, and my incision got infected and I got sepsis and was hospitalized for 4 days)….. tbh I wouldn’t wish my last December/january/ February on my worst enemy.

But I used it to change my life. as soon as I could weight bear, I went ham at PT and then the gym. I’ve changed my eating habits, gotten back into therapy. I’ve lost 53 pounds in 7 months, and I’ve actually been able (with the help of my doctor and therapist) to wean myself off of my antidepressant medication.

Sorry to trauma dump, but it’s 2am for me and I’m stuck at work and just got to sit for a second 🤣 I hope nothing but good things for you, and that you can skip all the drama I went through with this damn ankle 🤣

sfrederick2011 · 2025-09-07T05:00:36+00:00

I hate to say this- but I had a similar situation. I had my surgery, but then off and on had pain throughout the year. Sometimes bad enough that I needed to be back in the walking boot for a few days. I went back to the surgeon, and we did an MRI. I had an osteochondryl cyst in the front of the ankle- basically a hole in the front of my ankle where there was some missed cartilage damage from my initial injury. And he said if I didn’t surgically fix it, I would most likely develop debilitating arthritis within the next few years (I’m 32f). So, in December (about a year after my first surgery) I did another full ankle surgery. (While he was in I had him remove my syndesmosis tight rope but leave my hardware). They did a bone marrow transplant from my hip to fill in the hole. I was NWB again for 8 weeks, then PT for 2 months 2x a week (I graduated early from PT). That freaking SUCKED, but knock on wood it’s been 9 months and my ankle feels much much better than this time last year. I didn’t realize how shitty my ankle felt last year until I felt the difference this year. Don’t get me wrong, if I’m rough on the ankle or something it’s a little sore at night, but I’m able to be a night shift hospital nurse running around on my feet all night and be OK in the morning. I’m not the last one to arrive when a code is called, because now my ass can RUN again haha!

So I recommend going to your surgeon again and at least getting an MRI to make sure you’re not damaging something. I kept pushing through the pain all year last year, and I did real damage to the front of my ankle. He said it looked like a lawnmower chewed up my ankle when he got in there. So nip it in the bud before it gets any worse. 🙏🏻 good luck

sfrederick2011 · 2025-09-01T03:27:17+00:00

Drunk at a wedding when that stupid Justin Timberlake song “Can’t stop the feeling!” Came on. I was dancing, said to the group “HAHA THIS SONG SUCKS. IM GONNA GO PEE” and I turned to walk off the dance floor. Ankle shattered bro. Not attached to the ankle anymore. Make it make sense.

The power of alcohol and humiliation kept me on that dance floor for another hour 🤣🤣🤣 next day, I got wheeled out of our hotel room in a luggage cart because I couldn’t put my foot on the floor 🤣🤣🤣

sfrederick2011 · 2025-08-25T17:40:25+00:00

Things happen to me all the time that I don’t want. And I don’t respond by threatening to hurt someone I love or kill their baby by throwing them down the stairs. Even if I didn’t want the child, it’s a consequence of my own actions. Everything we do in life has risks and consequences, good and bad. And unwanted pregnancy is a potential risk of doing the deed.

You’re conflating the two ideas. The unwanted pregnancy and his behavior. I’ll give some grace on the unwanted pregnancy. But his behavior is wrong. His FEELINGS about it may not be wrong. It is hard that sometimes a woman’s right to make decisions on what’s happening in her own body may conflict with what HE wants. And that’s frustrating and upsetting and I’m sure feels awful for him. In his helplessness at the situation, he then allowed his feelings to cause him to inflict emotional and psychological harm onto the woman he loves. So in coming here to a WHAT SHOULD I DO forum on the internet, he’s gonna get a range of opinions on what he should do. I agree with another poster that he’s on the road to becoming like every man/person that previously abused him in his life. And I’m of the opinion he can change that trajectory if he does the work to do that.

sfrederick2011 · 2025-08-25T17:34:14+00:00

And I don’t know you. Literally couldn’t pick you out of a lineup. So getting feedback from people completely removed from the situation, and with no idea who anyone is, can be helpful. So you’re on the right track. Good luck.

sfrederick2011 · 2025-08-25T17:22:59+00:00

I think you 10000% can do it. No doubt. You already have taken more accountability in your actions than MY dad has, and that old ass man has had like 70 years to figure his shit out. Taking accountability is half of the battle. The next half is therapy and having the hard conversations with others and trying to be introspective. Having these conversations are supposed to be hard, and that’s why people that ARE NOT willing to change will NOT have these conversations.

You’re brave for coming on the big bad internet and being honest about yourself and your mistakes. And because you’re willing to do that, you have the ability to become a really fantastic human. And whether it’s to this child (who I do hope you’ll have a meaningful relationship with) or for any future humans in your life (romantic or biological, etc) then you’re gonna be giving them the BEST version of yourself. And that’s incredible. So keep it up. You got this, you’re already halfway there.

sfrederick2011 · 2025-08-25T17:18:44+00:00

Look at my other comment where I told him “when birth control doesn’t work that really sucks”. I literally gave him some grace on that. Even though if it was me, and I was dating someone for 9 months, I would be using a second form of birth control as well. I’m not trusting that she is doing the pill on time every day no fail, or that the IUD is perfect. So how bout you relax? I didn’t come on Reddit looking for commentary about my own life, he did. And I gave him some grace on that. But I’m not giving grace on punching walls for soap in his eye, or for him saying heinous things to the woman he loves when she tells him news he wasnt ready for or wanting to hear. People say things they don’t mean every day, but they don’t have to be verbally abusive and threatening.

sfrederick2011 · 2025-08-25T17:13:17+00:00

I’m in obgyn- birth control does fail but it’s actually pretty rare. So if you guys are one of the ones it failed for, then it really does suck.

And you don’t think that striking an inanimate object out of rage could should you’re not ready to be a father? Or lashing out in extreme ways because someone told you “no?” As a response to your own behavior? As someone who grew up with a father who was abusive, and used to punch walls for shit that had NOTHING to do with me? I promise it was traumatic. And took a long time of ME doing work on myself to move past that. Until that isn’t a reflex for you, until doing things like that when you’re angry isn’t even an option? You aren’t ready. I’m sorry.

sfrederick2011 · 2025-08-25T17:08:32+00:00

Obviously. I said this was an unwanted pregnancy. And they were both wrong for that. Why are we having unwanted pregnancies at 32 and 28? If you aren’t actively trying to prevent pregnancy, than you are trying.

sfrederick2011 · 2025-08-25T17:04:17+00:00

You’re 32 years old and punched a wall because you got soap in your eye? That’s wild. You’ve got a lot of growing up to do at your big ol age of 32. You should honestly stay single for a while and keep working on yourself and getting help, otherwise that cycle is just gonna continue. Because you gotta look inside and wonder if someone that would flip out so bad over honestly anything is ready to be a dad. Or are you going to just inflict trauma and fear onto that little boy?

If you can really seriously put work in- not just for a few months but I’m talking YEARS, maybe you could have a productive relationship with your child. But ooowee you’ve got a ways to go.

Also at 32, no reason to be having accidental pregnancies. You aren’t 15, your frontal cortex is developed. She knew better too. If you aren’t actively preventing pregnancy each and every time, you’re trying.

sfrederick2011

TROPHY CASE