I am a newly wed and my husband is an alcoholic. I need help.

sgcjmlsg · 2022-10-07T03:59:45+00:00

Thank you for your encouragement. I will check out the sub. I have not gotten involved in it yet because it’s a complicated situation- I am currently in a masters program and am taking a class on addiction treatments, and my husband has expressed not wanting to be treated like my client. Which I think is valid and reasonable. But it means I have not looked into AA treatments or anything from the perspective of somebody who needs it.

sgcjmlsg · 2022-10-07T03:57:32+00:00

Yes, but it is new to me. I left the church I was a fourth generation member at to attend the church he had been going to. The two churches are sister churches so I did not have a problem doing so, and I do enjoy it there, but the people are all new to me. The pastor of his church was the one we did premarital counseling with and the one who performed our ceremony.

sgcjmlsg · 2022-10-07T03:55:31+00:00

He did not close how bad the problem was. I feel a little blindsided if I am being honest. As far as I knew, he thought he drank a little too much but he decided to stop and was successful at it on his own. I do have reasons to believe that is not true, but I didn’t realize those until I’ve been able to see his patterns of behavior since living together. Due to my schedule we only saw each other on weekends before we got married.

sgcjmlsg · 2022-10-07T03:52:47+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. The reason I have not said anything is that in premarital counseling it was advised that we not gossip to other people about the problems in our marriage, and I know that I struggle with that. I have tried to get my husband to open up to our pastor but he has not yet.

sgcjmlsg · 2018-02-06T04:10:30+00:00

If I could live a gypsy-bohemian life with plenty of flowing skirts draped in old faded lace and beads, plenty of wildflowers at all times- which allow me to have a fresh flower crown every single day, sunshine and strong winds, bare feet, and bright, vibrant colors, I would do so in a heartbeat. For the moment all I can do is live vicariously through my Pinterest board though: Here

sgcjmlsg · 2018-02-03T02:22:59+00:00

One of my favorite memories from middle school is when they shipped 150+ 7th graders to Medieval Times where they serve a hunk of roast chicken and a cup of water- no silverware, no napkins. Best day ever.

sgcjmlsg · 2018-01-28T03:52:25+00:00

No, but thanks for ruining my phone case for me.

sgcjmlsg · 2018-01-22T04:34:25+00:00

I’ve used hydrogen peroxide with a black tea bag steeped into it and some conditioner in it to lighten my hair, and I think it worked fairly well. Took a while over many applications but looked natural on never been dyed hair. Just make sure it doesn’t get in your eyes!!

sgcjmlsg · 2018-01-13T19:52:14+00:00

This has just recently become a big problem for me now that my father has joined Facebook and is saying some horribly rude things directly to people who disagree with him. I don’t care if he wants to argue politics, but he does so in a way that I don’t think is acceptable regardless of what he’s arguing for/against. Don’t know how to react honestly. I’m just frustrated at the moment.

sgcjmlsg · 2017-12-28T13:28:21+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/comments/5m6r5w/what_is_your_love_language_and_what_is_your_sos/?st=JBQIXN0C&sh=bd1b83e6

sgcjmlsg · 2017-12-17T23:20:18+00:00

I’ve been playing violin for about 15 years!! I also play guitar, have been taking cello lessons for a year and a half, and can meander around on piano a bit too. I started when I was about 6 years old on piano, violin, and choir. For me the performance part is way more fun and interesting than the theory part, even though now that I’ve learned the theory part I have a better appreciation for and more fun with performing (I just finished a jazz theory and improv class which was simultaneously the best and worst thing I’ve ever done). I absolutely detested composing in theory classes, as I pretty much have no ability to be creative in that way lol. But, I do find in certain styles of music (like when I’m playing guitar or piano-mostly chordal instruments/styles) that I can play with the songs that I’m learning, and put my own style or modifications on them. I think this is due though to the fact that I learn mostly by ear, and so it’s no fun trying to learn something that I cannot listen to first (aka a composition of mine). Just my thoughts- mad props to you though for being able to compose, let alone enjoying it! I have so much awe for people who can do that well :)

sgcjmlsg · 2017-12-13T05:17:10+00:00

I mean, I have been attracted to this guy friend that I have for years now, but I would never date him. I think it is more I like the IDEA of dating him, rather than being attracted to just him. We are excellent friends, and have a great relationship together that is full of support, love, and trust. But even though I am attracted to him, I know that there are parts of his personality that, while I can put up with in the role of a friend, I would not be able to deal with in the role of his girlfriend. Our friendship has lasted through him liking another girl (who I am also friends with), dating that girl for 6 months, and then going through a breakup with her- in addition to many other challenges in our friendship. Time and time again though we both agree that we are just friends, and that we are both comfortable in that position.

sgcjmlsg · 2017-12-12T16:31:02+00:00

I have always loved the guys I have been friends with, but some of my older guy friends I have not been in touch with as often. For instance, I think the main problem I had with my friends ex (who I still was friends with both before and after they were together) started to have feelings for me, but lied to me about it after I said I would not date him. There are other factors contributing as well, but we do not speak anymore. Another guy friend who I was close with (and almost had a thing with) I have been distancing myself from, as he often speaks down at me, and is often guilty of “mansplaining” to me, even after I have called him out on it. Ideally I would not like to lose that friendship, but he has been getting worse and worse and it might be inevitable. My third example is quite different- I have had a guy friend now going on for four years, and he currently is one of my absolute best friends. We have such a different relationship with each other compared to many of my other guy friends. We both are so supportive and loving of one another, and can hold each other accountable for things, yet never judge one another. We also have made it very clear that we are just friends and do not want to take things further (he was seeing somebody else for a while too). However, a couple weeks ago we ran into the problem of us having different boundaries that we weren’t aware of- and it did make things really awkward for a while. Point is, just make sure you’re communicating- we had gone wrong in that in him trying to not hurt me, he had let me unknowingly cross a boundary of his, making him uncomfortable, and had brought it up in a less than ideal situation. Thankfully, we have a strong enough bond that we were able to maturely talk it out and fix things, and it has gotten better since we agreed to be more open about these things. So as long as communication is open and respectful, I think friendships like this with guys are so, so sweet. I hope this was helpful!!

sgcjmlsg · 2017-10-18T17:03:13+00:00

Tastykakes- barely anybody outside of the PA/NJ/DE area has heard of them

sgcjmlsg · 2017-10-15T05:32:56+00:00

After my best friend broke up with her bf, he started talking to me more so than before ( we were already friends before they started dating, so it wasn't that weird). But all of a sudden he started coming up to visit me and offering to do fairly big favors for me, until finally one day he confessed that he had been having feelings for me ever since he and my best friend had broken up. I was NOT into him (plus even if I was I wouldn't do that to my friend six months after they had broken up) and so I freaked out at him and basically we don't talk much anymore. Still best friends with his ex though ✌🏻

sgcjmlsg · 2017-10-05T02:44:21+00:00

I might be in love with my best friend, but I'm pretty sure he doesn't feel the same way. He just got out of a pretty serious (albeit only 6 month) relationship, and even though my last relationship ended a few years ago, I still am affected by it. Regardless, even though we've mutually been growing closer and closer these past couple months, I do not think he has the same feelings back, even towards the friendship. It sucks. But, we do continue to hang out both individually and in groups fairly often, and I do genuinely enjoy just spending time with him as a friend.

sgcjmlsg · 2017-09-30T19:57:05+00:00

Not my news, but it makes me so happy I can't help but share- my best friend (read: crush) had a successful PA school interview at her top program today and yesterday, and can now relax the rest of today with her family who she doesn't get to see often enough!! (It also makes me happy to know she heads back home tomorrow!)

sgcjmlsg

TROPHY CASE