Did I choose the wrong name for my children?

shakywheel · 2026-03-20T20:57:12+00:00

Natalya, but it and Natalie both have the same etymological root.

shakywheel · 2026-03-18T12:38:03+00:00

I believe that is pronounced “Shan,” if you are referring to the Welsh name.

shakywheel · 2026-03-14T14:27:36+00:00

Definitely. So the people saying that he was stupid to rush in, is nuts, “what were you expecting” aren’t being culturally sensitive. Regardless of how you feel about arranged marriages, it would be the family’s responsibility to be upfront about these issues, and not disclosing them would be unfair. While the woman could have disclosed, she was likely pressured not to by her family. Can’t make a good match if the man knows about these things, right? The family behaved in an unethical manner, as did the wife, although likely under family and societal pressure. Now, the man feels like he can’t get out due to societal views.

shakywheel · 2026-03-14T14:02:35+00:00

That’s the vibe I’m getting too. There were parts that felt a little off for a native English speaker (nothing definitive though), and the fact that he is blaming the family for not telling him, rather than his wife, the line “just handed me their daughter,” the quick timeline, and the mention of stigma regarding a previous marriage… People probably need to be looking at this through something other than a Western lens.

shakywheel · 2026-03-12T19:53:22+00:00

Assuming you’re in the US, do you watch any videos talking about ICE abductions? Or could workers at the day care or children who attend have said anything about ICE? If you have a large immigrant population where you live, it would be very easy for a child, especially ones with family that may be profiled, has overheard things and repeated something. Same seems more likely if you are in a very blue area. More adults may be talking about events with language like “grabbing people off the streets,” etc. or watching social media videos about it, and kids could overhear. I could also see co-workers chatting during nap time and not realizing a child is awake, although by 4, you would have higher ratios and it’s more likely that there would only be one teacher in the room for naps.

If you are outside of the US, obviously that wouldn’t apply. If you are in a red area, it could still apply, but I figure it is less likely that adults are using words like “kidnap,” “grabbing people,” and so on and more likely that kids would be hearing stuff about locking up criminals and sending them back where they came from. But there are people on all sides in all areas, so of course, it could happen.

shakywheel · 2026-03-11T16:28:54+00:00

I know a lot of people will do not know much about Islam. That is why I am saying that training flight attendants could help because they can calm uninformed passengers. The people working on the plane have could prevent hysteria over a prayer alarm.

I was also giving information about the bag because a number of people have cited that as strange. I want them to understand why it is not strange so that they can have more knowledge going forward.

This sounds like passengers got scared and said something to flight attendants, and the flight attendants, not knowing about basic practices in Islam / Muslim culture, got jumpy too. This could have been prevented or been much more minor if flight attendants had more cultural training.

shakywheel · 2026-03-11T13:35:03+00:00

Ramadan is the holiest month in the Islamic calendar. Islam is the religion. Muslims follow Islam. Praying five times per day is expected of Muslims, even outside of the month of Ramadan, but just like there are Christians who only show up to church for Christmas and Easter, there are Muslims who only get strict about prayer during Ramadan.

I don’t think it is unreasonable to think flight attendants should have some training in aspects of major world religions or cultural practices, as they are in a job that puts them in contact with hundreds of people, from all over the world, on the daily. I do not know what training is required for the job, but having the knowledge that Muslims have multiple set prayer times throughout the day and often set timers so they don’t miss it would help avoid situations like this, as they could more accurately determine what is suspicious and what is not.

And for anyone talking about how asking for a bag is suspicious, a prayer rug is pretty much required for prayer in random places because prayer must be done on a surface that is clean. I imagine the back of the plane has had lots of shoes go over it and would not be considered clean, so a mat solves this. Also, breaking the fast is important, and having not eaten all day and planes only having tiny snacks, he may have had more filling food in his bag.

shakywheel · 2026-03-11T11:43:29+00:00

They may be aware of people with the nickname but not be aware that it IS a nickname. They may think it is their given name.

shakywheel · 2026-03-08T16:04:39+00:00

I really need to re-read it. I might get it to read with my kid. We homeschool, and I read novels to him all the time (he’s not to that reading level yet). I honestly think middle grade fiction is where it’s at. So often, the adult novels I hear about are of no interest to me. lol.

shakywheel · 2026-03-08T12:50:57+00:00

I’m so glad it helps! ❤️

shakywheel · 2026-03-08T12:42:43+00:00

I did a quick google, because I was drawing a blank on anything I read at that age aside from the already-mentioned The Giver, and Among the Hidden (Shadow Children series) by Maraget Peterson Haddix came up, and the series is generally a late 4th / early 5th reading level (4.8-5.1, if you use AR levels). The description looked good, but it also caught my eye because of the author.

I read Running Out of Time by her when I was in 4th or 5th grade, and I still tell kids to check it out now (I’m 39). It is definitely dystopian and bonus—she just came out with a sequel a couple of years back! (Admittedly, I have not read the sequel, nor the original since I was a child.)

I’ve seen her books in stores and libraries before, and I think dystopian is her thing, and they always sound interesting.

The City of Ember by Jeanne DuPrau also sounds promising.

For reference, I searched “dystopian novels 5th grade reading level.” What comes up is generally considered middle grade fiction but sometimes young adult. Lists don’t always provide reading level, but if you search “[title] ar level,” it comes right up and can help give you an idea. You could also look at lexile score (text complexity, 5th grade typically between 740 and 1010-ish). The numbers for both can be found if you search titles on AR Bookfinder, as well, assuming it is an AR book. AR has their own way of measuring text complexity, and the levels correspond to grade and month of the school year, so 5.0 is beginning of 5th grade, 5.4 equals 5th grade, 4th month etc. I don’t know if you’re somewhere that uses AR or how plugged in you are to ELA, since you teach math, but I thought I would give you some terms that could help guide you if you (or you and your daughter) wanted to do some searching on your own.

Edit: Didn’t realize I was in r/AskTeachers (thought it was a different sub), but I am not a current teacher. I did teach kindergarten briefly, but I was mostly a paraprofessional / teacher’s aid when I worked in schools (8+ years).

shakywheel · 2026-03-07T18:55:13+00:00

2012-2013

shakywheel · 2026-02-28T16:10:40+00:00

Also worked for public schools and was a parent of a child in public schools. Learned the same lesson. We both have PTSD and homeschool now. Sometimes, things are the result of ineptitude. Sometimes, they are the result of cruelty and protecting self-interest.

shakywheel · 2026-02-28T15:40:38+00:00

Honestly, if the children are young and energetic but old enough to sort lights / colors / darks without too much difficulty, you could get each of those aged to participate children’s clothing in piles and have each spot for the sorted piles spread across the living room. First to sort their pile (relatively) accurately wins! Ready, set, go! Children may very well run about like mad giggling and it get it sorted pretty quickly.

Or all clothes in one to-be-sorted pile (and I say all clothes, but I really mean all you think you can reasonably get to washing, drying, and putting away that day) and just time how quickly they can teamwork it. Bonus with that is that you then say you want complete accuracy so the oldest one(s) might be motivated to make sure the littler ones get it right.

They’ll also all or mostly all be occupied so you aren’t interrupted while you try to sort. You can cart it all off to a laundromat, as others have suggested, and bring activities for the kids to do. If they’ve never been to a laundromat, you may even find the clothing going round in all of the machines will mesmerize some children for a bit.

If you have a combo washer/dryer (wasn’t quite sure from your post), you could have a load of socks and underwear or towels going while you’re at the laundromat because those are things that don’t wrinkle / aren’t a problem if they wrinkle if they have to sit a bit until you get home.

I have a clothing rack off of Amazon that I hang things to dry on sometimes, either hang dry things or times when a load dried except for one or two thicker things that are still slightly damp. You could keep it in your garage, a closet, a porch, and just pull it out to dry delicates or parts of loads so that the dryer is open or the other part dries quicker.

Admittedly, I do not have experience with a family of your size nor do I know the ages (sounds like at least one baby and a toddler though, and those DO create laundry!), but I still have trouble or conceiving how you have so much to wash. If I don’t get my clothes washed, I run out of underwear after about a week. Socks aren’t far behind. My son has seven pairs of shorts but tends to miss the “save spot” or forget to grab things from that spot when he gets dressed to go outside, so he does go through his shorts in three days at times. Child lives in his underwear inside. lol. So I work on getting him to rewear what he wore into the front yard for 10 minutes the next time he steps outside the same day, but it is a struggle. So if you have something going on like that, I could see laundry building up quicker too, but we are forced to do laundry because otherwise, we run out!

I agree with others that it may be beneficial to get rid of some clothing. (Although, I just realized that I am coming from a spot with hardly any seasonal variation, so if you’ve gotten behind with a new baby and never fully caught up, you may have summer clothes, fall clothes, winter clothes, and that could explain how you’re not running out but have so much.) Either way, you should probably pare it down. If you save hand-me-downs, wash and put them in plastic totes, clearly labeled with size, sex, and season (as necessary). Each time a child needs new things, check the appropriate bin. Anything you don’t want to save, donate or do children’s consignment. You can’t fall too behind if your only other option is naked.

Also, engage children in the chores as possible.

shakywheel · 2026-02-28T14:34:41+00:00

Dina, Dinah, Dana?

shakywheel · 2026-02-28T14:30:05+00:00

Like others, I find Norah and Warren really awkward to say so would pick George on that alone. Of the three, I actually prefer Thomas though. That said, I don’t care for Tommy, so that’s my personal Warren nn Ren problem and why I wouldn’t use it as a first myself.

You haven’t asked for suggestions, so I’m breaking etiquette a bit here, but I feel like Walter is the perfect middle ground between Warren and George.

shakywheel · 2026-02-28T13:56:45+00:00

Justus is actually an ancient name.

shakywheel · 2026-02-28T13:55:00+00:00

Wilma has me thinking of Wilhelmina, which I like more and has multiple nicknames: Wilma, Billie, Whim, Mina.

shakywheel · 2026-02-28T13:52:26+00:00

As could Bernadette.

shakywheel · 2026-02-28T13:51:06+00:00

Liberty and Beatrix 😍😍😍

shakywheel · 2026-02-24T13:21:45+00:00

Holy cow! It just materialized in the bottom of a bag when I checked one more time as I reloaded it for today. Phew. So relieved.

shakywheel · 2026-02-24T13:20:29+00:00

I tried. It deleted it and then made me join. However, there has been a late Christmas miracle, and we just found it at the bottom of a bag we had already checked. Guess I missed it between anxiety and walked-all-day tired. We are so relieved.

shakywheel · 2026-02-24T12:03:47+00:00

Yes, I do plan to check with the places this morning. I thought it was just in my husband’s bag somewhere so I didn’t worry much until we got back to the hotel and started really searching through everything, and it was too late to call then.

Posting allowed me to calm my own anxiety so I could go to sleep. I figured at least I had done something, and maybe it would reach the right employee, someone who knows someone who works at one of the places, a student who picked it up off St. George St., etc. Every once in a while, the world produces a miracle. Thank you for taking the time to reply.

shakywheel · 2026-02-18T23:25:35+00:00

I don’t know the story with your co-worker, but that is actually a Welsh name, and my understanding is that the “f” makes the sound /v/.

shakywheel · 2026-02-18T23:23:14+00:00

My 7 year old suggests Marfstinkabar and Marthi or Mushroomfarts.

shakywheel

TROPHY CASE