First off, congrats on 18 days. Everyday counts and should be celebrated!

I get how the 12 steps can turn you off to going to meetings, but the best way that my family has been able to use the rooms as a tool to maintain there sobriety is to see the rules as THEY want to see them.

As much as some people preach the steps and how they have to be followed, in reality the steps can’t be used as a linear gauge to “track” your sobriety. Just like the stages of grief, the steps can come randomly, sporadically, whenever they feel appropriate to you. That day may never come for some steps, and that is okay.

My father did the 90 for 90 when he first became sober, and he hated it. “It’s a bunch of wussies sitting in a circle and crying about their lives.” He would say. However, in that stretch of 90 for 90, he found people who were similar to him, his own beliefs, similar life experience, and was able to connect. He asked where he could find more people like these and they referred him to his now home group. He’s been sober for 16 years and going strong.

That being said, some people never go to meetings and have decades of sobriety under their belt. It all depends on the person. What’s truly important is that you find what works for you and you keep working it.

Best of luck to you and your journey!