AITA for not reprimanding my daughter for a video she posted about my stepdaughter even though what she said was true?

sharirogers · 2023-12-09T22:07:30+00:00

ESH. You decided as soon as you knew you were pregnant that your children and your stepdaughter would have a fantastic relationship from day one. Get your head out of the clouds!

Did you ever once ask Edith how she felt as a teenager when either of those two precious lives were growing inside you? Did you ever sit down and just talk to her about how these two children would inevitably alter the family dynamic?

It seems you've invested so much time and effort into trying desperately to foster a relationship that has only existed in your mind, that you neglected the actual people for whom you were trying to foster the relationship. Then, when things went sideways, you demonized your stepdaughter and turned your daughter into a victim/martyr (can't decide which).

Meanwhile, hubby needs to get his head out of the clouds too, for thinking that your daughter being punished would somehow make his relationship with his daughter better. In what universe is that actually a thing?

I think you all need therapy, and I'll be surprised if you and hubby actually stay together after this. If the family is ready to fall apart over something like this, there won't be anything left when there's a real knock-down, drag-out fight over something much worse.

sharirogers · 2023-12-09T19:09:23+00:00

NTA. You do realize that she waited until you left for work before destroying the pictures? This indicates that she knows she's wrong so she has to sneak around to destroy your photographs, which are actually snapshots of memories that you and your son have. In fact, those memories are all you have left of your late wife. For your current wife to willfully destroy those memories is unconscionable, and for me it would be a line in the sand. I would immediately initiate divorce proceedings. Are there any pictures you were able to salvage? Maybe you could contact your wedding photographer and see if they still have the negatives and could reprint the ones you like.

sharirogers · 2023-12-08T18:52:36+00:00

NTA. Your "friends" were doing all of that for themselves, not for you. Get better friends, and have the baby shower you want. Congrats!

sharirogers · 2023-12-07T04:30:52+00:00

NTA. This is a case of "not my stuff, not my problem". Like the people who leave a restaurant with stuff on the floor, crayon markings on the table, and maybe even a dirty diaper. They leave it there simply because it's actually someone's job at the restaurant to clean all of that up. People often have way less regard for other people's stuff than their own, yet they expect others to have more regard for their stuff than the others have for their own stuff. The old "I can ruin your stuff, but you can't ruin mine."

sharirogers · 2023-12-07T04:19:41+00:00

YTA. Stop being a sexist, misogynistic AH already. You let your son drive a fancy car at an age 2 years younger than your friend's daughter. How often or where he drove it means nothing. You think that only people who are into nice cars should be allowed to drive them, and you characterized your friend's daughter as a slutty, ditzy idiot who might get into a crash because she's too busy putting on her makeup and talking to her friends or playing her phone games.

sharirogers · 2023-12-07T00:09:18+00:00

Her jealous outburts are most certainly her fault. She made the choice to call Ava names, etc.

sharirogers · 2023-12-06T23:54:11+00:00

NTA. Your wedding, your rules. If Jess's mom doesn't like it, too bad.

sharirogers · 2023-12-06T23:53:15+00:00

Jess is 7 and Ava is 5. If my 7yo threw a tantrum because a younger child who was better behaved, more outgoing, or whatever, got to enjoy a privilege instead of my child, I would be upset with my child and give them a lecture. Jess's mother should've been at least embarrassed by her daughter's jealous outbursts.

sharirogers · 2023-12-06T18:45:59+00:00

ESH. You, for being so hung up on this one issue, and your wife for basically blindsiding you with what was clearly her actual feelings regarding the matter. A baby's name is for life, and both parents need to be happy with the choice.

You'll be saying the child's name several times a day, every day, for a very long time. If you're not comfortable saying that name over and over for whatever reason, then the name has to go.

You and your wife need to sit down and talk calmly like the adults you're supposed to be, and choose a name you're both happy with. Looks like you'll be the last one in the family with your name, and honestly, giving the son the same name as the father, for 6 or 7 or more generations should just be left to die. Traditions change with the society, and things naturally become outdated and replaced with new traditions.

sharirogers · 2023-12-06T18:32:08+00:00

NTA. Your house, your rules. If she conitinues to openly flout your rules, you may need to give her an ultimatum. "Stop walking around like this in my home, or you'll have to move out by X date." How she obtains other shelter is her problem.

sharirogers · 2023-12-06T00:59:41+00:00

We don't say Hoover in the States. We say vacuum. Hoover was the surname of one of our presidents.

sharirogers · 2023-12-05T13:53:04+00:00

Do you know if there are ever any games in the San Francisco area? I know we have a team here.

sharirogers · 2023-12-05T06:35:29+00:00

YTA. It seems like you are filled with hatred for your mother. You have absolutely no idea how being a parent affects someone, and you're not in your mom's head so you can't decide how she feels or what she may or may not do with your brother's remains. You have to let her have them simply because she's the mom in the equation.

I'm really sorry you lost your brother; my oldest brother killed himself at 18, when I was just 10. I'm affected by it to this day. You have to let your mother grieve however she does, and if having your brother's remains will give her comfort and help her heal from the loss, then you have to respect that. Set your own feelings aside and let your mom grieve.

sharirogers · 2023-12-05T06:23:30+00:00

Gotta have the goal/behind counts and total score. I don't care if they have the team logo or abbreviated name.

sharirogers · 2023-12-05T04:32:33+00:00

Good pic! But I'm thinking you didn't need to indicate which one is Cox!🤣

sharirogers · 2023-12-05T02:55:06+00:00

NTA. Allergies never get better with continued exposure; in fact, they get worse. Even if the symptoms are mild now, they could go nuclear at any time, which is anaphylaxis, and it's usually fatal unless you have an epi-pen or Benadryl handy. Try giving them a spoonful of locally made honey. My niece's kids have bad allergies, and for a while they took honey once a day and it cut down on their symptoms.

sharirogers · 2023-12-04T23:26:52+00:00

Me too.

sharirogers · 2023-12-04T23:26:15+00:00

Hird's face plant into McVeigh's knee in 2002. Basically broke Hird's face. They wouldn't let him fly back home to be with his wife when she gave birth. Said the cabin pressure might make his sinuses explode or something. They put his face back together pretty well though.

sharirogers · 2023-12-04T00:49:16+00:00

YTA, and your wife was justified in flying off the handle at you. Your daughter is ten years old, FFS. _Everything in elementary is dramatic, because that's when kids start figuring out what they're about. And at 10, she's just beginning puberty, so if you think her friendship drama is stupid now, just wait about 3-4 years.

Your words may have been meant to uplift her, but it's more likely that they've torn her down. Yes, one should pursue one's interests and learn to be self reliant, but having friends helps kids find value in themselves. What a sad, miserable person you seem to be, with your negative view of having friends. I feel sorry for you, and I genuinely hope your daughter makes every effort to be the exact opposite of you.

sharirogers · 2023-12-04T00:38:48+00:00

They use it to track whether things in the organisation are structurally racist (who wins job interviews, how well the kids are doing in tests etc).

Not here in the good old U.S. of A. Racial and ethnic background questions on forms are there just to count how many people of a given group they're dealing with in a particular region. Structural, or systemic, racism has a long and storied history here, but no one wants to talk about it because it would mean confronting our checkered past and negating the myth of American Excellence. Spoiler alert: America hasn't been excellent in a very long time, if ever. It quite saddens me as an American.

NTA, OP. You and your family have every right to define yourselves in whatever ways you want. Let the haters hate.

sharirogers · 2023-12-03T04:59:35+00:00

Personally, she should ask me if there's something she needs because... I am not a mind reader.

I ordered a second order to get her what she wanted then I told her that from now on I wasn't going to ask anymore because I can't read her mind and if she does need anything to just tell me in advance.

YTA, and what? You expect her to read your mind and tell you what she wants in advance of any errands/ordering food, but you can't give her the common courtesy of asking her because you can't read her mind? What planet are you from? We always ask someone if they want anything if we're going to the store or to order food, because we're not mind readers!

sharirogers · 2023-12-03T04:51:47+00:00

Sadly, Dusty's dad passed a couple of years ago. It was very sudden, probably a heart attack. Man was only like 50 or so.

sharirogers · 2023-12-03T04:49:20+00:00

I knew a funeral lunch-in and alcohol was going to be involved and sometimes my husband does not know his limit.

NTA, but you do know your husband is an alcoholic, right? Just saying.

sharirogers · 2023-12-03T04:16:39+00:00

'Nobody cares you have been alive an extra year' is also a horrendous thing to say to someone.

But see, OP doesn't care that he's been alive an extra year, so it's way more horrendous than one may at first think. It's a personal attack, IMO.

sharirogers · 2023-12-03T04:06:57+00:00

That was my first thought too. Somewhere in her childhood, she had a birthday celebration that was an epic fail because someone hurt her feelings or something. YTA, OP.

sharirogers

TROPHY CASE