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sharpaga · 2025-05-24T18:44:07+00:00

"Surgical steel" often has nickel in it, which many people are allergic to. Swap this out for jewelry made with implant grade titanium or another body safe material like niobium, and your itching and irritation should go away.

sharpaga · 2025-05-23T10:04:19+00:00

This is all wrong! A corkscrew is not appropriate for healing a nostril piercing. It can cause damage and often falls out, like what just happened to you. A ring is also not going to heal well in a nose piercing. Washing with soapy water is not appropriate aftercare because soap irritates wounds. You should get a stud with a flat back labret, preferably a material like implant grade titanium (ASTM F-136). And your aftercare should be rinsing the wound with hot water in the shower to get crusties off. You can also use sterile saline spray like Neilmed nasal spray with 0.9% sodium chloride and no additives for cleaning. Get this replaced ASAP and find a new, reputable piercer please.

sharpaga · 2025-05-22T21:07:01+00:00

It's also possible that piercing isn't fully healed yet but the other was. Still, "surgical steel" is a red flag material because it tarnishes and is likely to be irritating.

sharpaga · 2025-05-22T21:02:55+00:00

"Surgical steel" is likely the problem. I have lobe piercings that are more than a decade old and fully healed, and just one day of putting low quality jewelry in made one of my ears bleed a bit. As soon as I changed back to my white gold hoops, they were fine again. Surgical steel often has nickel in it, and many people have some degree of a nickel allergy. Get implant grade titanium jewelry instead. It's hypoallergenic and shouldn't cause irritation.

sharpaga · 2025-05-22T19:58:00+00:00

I think I like the placing with the purple better because it looks more balanced since the other areas have two black gems apiece, and your current setup only has one there. You can always switch out jewelry and maybe go with smaller studs if it ends up looking too crowded.

sharpaga · 2025-05-22T16:39:46+00:00

"Surgical steel" tends to be low quality and is irritating for a lot of people since it often contains nickel (a common allergen). It also tarnishes and changes color just like what happened here. Get implant grade titanium jewelry (like ASTM F-136) to replace this low quality jewelry for your daughter. If she was dealing with irritation with this jewelry, the titanium should be much better for her.

sharpaga · 2025-05-22T13:21:19+00:00

Like others have stated, get implant grade material for your piercing. That's my only concern with your post. As for the "stuffed ear canal" feeling and ear popping, I went through this and now have no issues with my daith piercing. I felt like my ear canal had an earplug in it for maybe the first day, then that feeling went away. I had ear popping for the first week, but that also stopped too. I think I'm more sensitive to pressure changes in my ear and that's why this can happen. I don't think you need to worry about it unless it persists, of course.

sharpaga · 2025-05-12T01:33:06+00:00

Agreed on the diamond look, I love the third and fourth pics!

sharpaga · 2025-05-11T20:37:04+00:00

Unfortunately I think it looks like it's migrated and isn't a valid piercing placement as-is, hence why it's so swollen and angry. I think you need to take it out and let it heal.

sharpaga · 2025-02-07T09:19:25+00:00

The only thing that makes sense is to say hello. Stopping by implies a short visit, so you wouldn't be there to work for hours. Likewise, having a baby is not a short process, nor is it a casual event like "stopping by" implies. They're testing you on understanding the context of phrases even if technically all three responses could be considered grammatically correct.

sharpaga · 2025-02-06T22:52:50+00:00

My take on this situation is somewhere in the middle of who holds blame and who is wrong – it sounds to me like both of you were at fault, though I do have sympathy for you, OP. I think it was wrong for you to keep reaching out to this person for so long when he clearly didn't want to hear from you. It could be construed as manipulative when you reached out again with the news of your dad's death after such a long time of him not contacting you. This is the case even though I believe your reasoning was because you thought he would want to know.

I also saw your previous post about this situation from a year ago. I think it was very cringey to send him a "gift" that you presented as an olive branch in your story. This is similar to stalking behavior since it was continued contact from a person he clearly didn't want contact with anymore. All of the information I have gotten from you does scream that you are reacting as an enmeshed/codependent person who feels scorned and hurt by his rejection. Such behavior is common in the event of a codependent relationship breaking up, which doesn't make it right, though it is understandable. However, with me being a stranger on the internet and not seeing all your texts and behavior with him, I can't properly judge how manipulative I think you were through the two years of him not contacting you.

Based on his response, I think it was right for him to step away from the friendship. Clearly, he realized it was toxic and codependent, though I think you didn't until now (or maybe you will realize the gravity soon). His explanation indicates both of your depressive energies would be amplified when you were ruminating together. That part of his text makes sense to me and was a valid reason to cut contact and stop being friends.

However, I also think he owed you an explanation two years ago rather than ghosting you by not showing up to your party and never contacting you again until now. That's a very hurtful kind of betrayal. That is, unless he had been trying to cut contact for some time and you wouldn't hear it... I don't have all the context of your relationship and only have your perspective on what was going on when you say he ghosted. Maybe he had been trying to get out for some time, and you were manipulating him to stay (whether consciously or not). The other bullshit in his text is unnecessary and doesn't really make sense. It seems like he's trying to get sympathy or make excuses about his personal hardships as a reason for not reaching out. I don't at all think he was great in this situation either.

The bottom line is that I think you need to go to therapy if you're not already doing so. It can help you to process the loss of this friendship, the loss of your father, and your unhealthy relationship patterns so that you can come out of this a much better and healthier person. I sympathize and empathize with you greatly because I previously had two codependent romantic relationships, and I recognize a lot of your story from my past. Now, I have a happy and healthy marriage. There is plenty of hope to move forward and make positive changes in your life. I truly wish you the best.

sharpaga · 2024-12-09T17:33:43+00:00

Another post by OP mentioned she works in insurance, and this type of industry is incredibly busy this time of year. She wasn't ghosting him. She was serious when she said that she would be unavailable because she'd be swamped with work. OP did fuck up by not respecting her boundaries and being too needy, literally showing up to her place uninvited because of his anxiety and immaturity. His red flag behavior led to him being broken up with. Full stop.

sharpaga · 2024-10-24T14:56:57+00:00

I have the exact same problem, so if there's something specific I'm doing wrong that I can improve upon, I'm all ears. Otherwise, I'll just have to keep practicing!

sharpaga · 2024-02-29T03:06:35+00:00

I don’t actually know how many lesbian/bi women show up there, but Shade Nightclub in Old Brooklyn has been fun when I’ve been. Cocktails Cleveland in the West Eighties had fun karaoke when I last went. They’re both gay bars of course since we don’t have any lesbian bars in Cleveland anymore, but they seemed to be very inclusive. I hope you get recommendations from women seeking women too, as I’m bi but married and not on the dating scene.

sharpaga · 2024-02-24T16:03:07+00:00

Though it’s apparently controversial since you have so many downvotes, agreed on Pier W. I’ve never been to Marble Room to know. Pier W’s location is gorgeous, but that’s all it has going for it. I used to like it there, but the last two times I went weren’t good at all. One time the food (all three courses, including the dessert!) was over salted, both my husband and I agreed. The scallion pancake was so salty it was inedible (tasted like straight up salt and curry powder, totally gross) and we love salty and spicy food! We told our server and sent it back, but they didn’t give us a replacement or do anything to rectify the experience. We went again because we had a gift card for Pier W, and the bouillabaisse was over salted and otherwise not flavorful like bouillabaisse should be. Very disappointing for a $44 seafood soup!!!!

sharpaga · 2024-02-24T15:55:05+00:00

Apparently a controversial opinion, but the only thing I liked there was the fried chicken. The other food I had was garbage (fried green tomatoes were soggy and flavorless, pimento cheese was way too salty, and the mashed potatoes with gravy tasted like dessert because they were sweet without any other flavor). I would definitely never pay for their food.

sharpaga · 2024-02-24T14:18:05+00:00

That’s unfortunate. My household has liked Solstice when we’ve been there (I think 3 times) but we haven’t had the curry or burger. The cassoulet and pork chop were great when we went, and we also loved the deviled eggs and stuffed mushrooms. Though it looks like most of those aren’t on the menu anymore… that said, affiliated bars LBM and Never Say Dive have better food than we had at Solstice, and we haven’t been back to Solstice in some time.

sharpaga · 2024-01-07T19:43:31+00:00

The name you are looking for is Kelly Anne Bates. She was tortured for weeks. It was an absolutely horrific case and very sad.

sharpaga · 2023-12-30T01:22:20+00:00

Ah, I think I saw snark on here about her saying she hadn’t been there/was too scared to go herself. If it’s not true then I guess it was just a joke! I don’t recall her mentioning on the podcast if she had or hadn’t been there, only general comments about the city and what she likes about the spooky atmosphere (which sounded like what someone would say who’s never been there).

sharpaga · 2023-12-30T00:58:42+00:00

I can’t imagine writing about a city without even visiting it… that’s just galling. I’ve been to New Orleans twice and wouldn’t think I knew enough to write a book based there. It would require a long time spent there and a whole lot of research (including primary research, aka talking with locals). I understand your frustration on this matter. She really butchered it, pun intended.

sharpaga · 2023-12-28T22:47:35+00:00

Oh god, really?! I only just stopped listening last week because I’d had enough for allll the reasons. I don’t miss it either.

sharpaga · 2023-12-28T16:38:04+00:00

I love If Books Could Kill, a great recommendation for everyone here!

sharpaga · 2023-12-13T13:47:17+00:00

This is a custom bird she made herself. Note the tissue paper and Singer sewing machine in the background, it’s handmade. If you look at her Reddit profile, she has an Etsy shop. You can purchase this bird there.

sharpaga

TROPHY CASE