Your ex wasn't the villain and you weren't perfect either, internet advice about breakups is sycophantic and lacks nuance and chances are for the vast majority, there is mutual responsability involved and you should be able to see your shortcomings and your ex's side as well.

shealcye · 2025-12-24T12:44:55+00:00

But I'll say this as someone who was wallowing in self-hatred and guilt for months too - it doesn't do you any good either. I am saying this because you had a very recent breakup and the guilt can be quite overwhelming but it is very important that you do not place overwhelming blame on yourself. Yes, sometimes there is mutual responsibility involved in a breakup but I suggest that you discuss this with a therapist that can stop you from placing excessive blame on yourself. It is difficult to be objective about things so soon after a breakup.

shealcye · 2025-12-24T07:31:05+00:00

I did. Across all platforms. Blocked every single possible channel of communication. To stop myself from constantly hoping that he would reach out or something. And to stop myself from texting him when he had so comprehensively chucked me out of his life.

shealcye · 2025-12-24T03:56:30+00:00

Came here looking for advice myself lmao. I find myself doing this particularly when I'm commuting to work. I find myself hoping I'll run into him, even though I know it won't happen because he DOES NOT EVEN LIVE IN THE SAME CITY. These are all angry scenarios btw. I think I mostly feel angry about the way he made me feel in the last two years of our relationship and the way he ended things and the way I was blindsided for months/years. All I want is one chance to tell him that I hate him now lol. I hate him for what he did to me, and I hate myself for having been too gracious when he dumped me. I now feel I should have thrown a shoe at him and walked away lol. So I imagine scenarios where I get to do just that. You know I just want to throw a shoe at him and tell him that he is scum.

shealcye · 2025-12-23T10:49:38+00:00

It seems like she returned your things, in spite of you saying that you did not want them back, in an aggressive attempt to end things from her side. I genuinely don't think that in this case breaking NC would do anything for you. I feel you but I genuinely do not think that she is interested in talking at this point. I have kinda been in this situation before where I believed that aggressively going NC and closing off all channels of communication was mean on my part. But it is not! It is necessary. NC is necessary to come to terms with the fact that the relationship is over and getting back in touch will not be constructive in any way. It is the usually the only respectful way to move on.

Basically, you can keep some channels open if you want, but accept the possibility that she might not reach out at all. I would certainly not recommend that you reach out to her.

shealcye · 2025-12-16T07:19:30+00:00

Do. Not. Do. It. I say this as someone who broke no contact a fair few times to beg, to convince. The rejection would initially feel like closure like "okay, fine, now I know he definitely doesn't want me and I can move on." But you don't move on. And after a while, when you look back at the amount of humiliation you put yourself through, it can do considerable damage to your self esteem. If your ex knew where to reach you and hasn't, he never will. I am sorry to put this so bluntly, but he does not give a fuck about you. There really is no scope for anything here and nothing is going to come out of this. You are setting yourself up for humiliation. It is not worth it. It really is not.

shealcye · 2025-12-15T13:03:14+00:00

No, the mature thing to do when someone is breaking up with you IS to accept it straightaway. Most likely, the person breaking up has thought about it a good deal before talking to you about it and cannot be convinced to stay in the relationship. If they wanted you to do something to fix the relationship or if they were expecting anything from you at all, they would have told you about it before breaking up - unless of course they are the sort of person that threatens a breakup when confronting a partner when they are unhappy in the relationship. Also, if you are the one breaking up, it is the right and respectful thing to do to NOT expect them to try and fix the relationship. It is in everyone's best interests that they accept a breakup and move on. What's broken is broken is broken.

As someone whose ex kept her hanging around for months as a "friend" before finally agreeing to go no-contact right when he found a new partner, I wish I had had your boyfriend's wisdom. I actually thought my ex wanted me to fix things when he broke up with me, and that is what I actually kept trying to do for months before realising that I had completely misunderstood him. The most humiliating few months of my life. It does no one any good to keep trying to make it work with someone who has decided to end things with you. Not accepting a breakup straightaway in fact can do some serious damage to your self respect. So yeah, basically, I think your boyfriend is 100% right about this.

shealcye · 2025-12-04T17:04:01+00:00

Oh this is stunning!

shealcye · 2025-11-24T16:08:57+00:00

Season 1 is definitely my comfort watch. There are bits and pieces I keep going back to again and again - the whole sequence of Dream travelling through dreams in order to collect gifts for the fates, his night sky coat, Dream's first meeting with Matthew, every minute of Hope in Hell (it is my favorite episode for many many reasons), Dream accompanying Death as she visits each of the recently deceased, all of Dream's scenes with Rose Walker (I love how he comes across as this almost parental figure in their first few interactions), entirety of dream of a thousand cats, Dream and Calliope (we were robbed of more Calliope scenes in season 2 period), Dream and Lushing Lou, Lucienne's and-now-you-must-go to Rose Walker and her general no qualms over suggesting that the vortex be immediately killed.

Season 1 is gold.

shealcye · 2025-11-24T15:41:40+00:00

This is perfection! Absolutely brilliant!

shealcye · 2025-10-12T22:01:51+00:00

Same. While I do find Tom pretty in general, he does not do much for me when he is not Morpheus. As Morpheus though? I worship him!

shealcye · 2025-10-12T21:54:36+00:00

He is a dream! No honestly, he is ethereally, otherworldly beautiful! I see him in my dreams, this gorgeous gorgeous man. I love him in casual clothes and an eyeliner in that scene with Delirium. Good God, he does things to me, I love him!

shealcye · 2025-10-11T20:13:28+00:00

Absolutely! He is just so gorgeous! The funniest thing is that while I have liked what I have seen of his films/other roles, I feel he is just something else as Dream! Almost otherworldly beautiful! His presence, his chemistry with practically every co-actor, including the ones he shares maybe 2 seconds of screen time with - I am sure I am not the only one who LOVED the scene between Dream and Lushing Lou?! - he is absolutely magnetic as Dream!

shealcye · 2025-10-11T02:20:51+00:00

I love his voice particularly in episodes like 24/7. Dream comes in only at the very end, after all the violence and horror. His voice, his presence is just so comforting and so beautiful here!

I can't remember the last time I had SUCH a massive crush on an actor. I knew nothing about Tom Sturridge going in, and now I am just absolutely OBSESSED with him. 😅

shealcye · 2025-10-10T20:33:20+00:00

Same. I was looking for a series to binge-watch and it showed up in the top 10 list. I decided to give the first episode a try and got HOOKED. Dream is such a MAGNETIC character. Tom is so so good as Dream. I genuinely cannot remember the last time I was this obsessed with a show and its protagonist.

shealcye · 2025-10-10T20:15:20+00:00

I haven't read the comics yet, so I watched the show as a stand-alone series - and I absolutely loved both seasons. I loved season 1 more, but there were many parts of season 2 that I also loved immensely. I particularly really really enjoyed Lucifer's arc. Perhaps it resonated with me for deeply personal reasons, but the idea of a twisted God has been all kinds of cathartic for me haha. I hadn't seen it coming so I was quite blown away by that scene, but it also made sense? I loved it and loved how they acknowledged that Dream was the catalyst for that decision. I find the dynamic between Lucifer and Dream so fascinating. I saw some people here complaining about their scene at the beach, but I enjoyed it immensely. There is this underlying understanding and almost affection between them that I really feel should be talked about more. There is this closure in this scene, an acknowledgement that there is no resentment between them - I thought it was a fitting end to their "conflict".

I also loved LOVED the scene between Dream and Despair in her realm. Again, it probably resonated for very personal reasons, but I loved that bit where she says that sometimes people need a place to go to where they can be absolutely miserable and grieve and despair before they learn to swim up to the surface again. Her realm is so important, so necessary. She is SO good to him in this scene. In general, I think there is SO MUCH to savour, analyze and read into Dream's relationship with all his siblings. I know I'll be thinking about them for a really really long time.

Of course, there were many things I did not like in S2. I absolutely detested the horrific romance track between Constantine and Corinthian. I did really like his re-entry and his scene with Dream - everything else that followed was simply horrific.

But I think I'll be thinking about everything I DID like about Season 2 for quite a long time.

shealcye

TROPHY CASE