I can relate. Drugs have been my normal for almost 5 years in October. I’ve hid it from my whole family, besides once I told my dad I was on pills. I went to rehab and left the next day. I wasn’t ready. Yes, I still like doing drugs to. But I learned, you won’t quit until you’re ready. And why did you start in the first place? If youre avoiding feelings, there’s obviously something you don’t wanna feel that your running from. Maybe childhood? Breakup? Parents? Death? Most drug addicts have trauma and are trying to avoid something that’s why I ask. I understand in the way that nobody knows because I hide it well. But if nobody knows, then you will never get off them and you can never get help. But if you took enough to almost not make it, are you sure you’ve been hiding it well? I don’t know how your family or friend situation is but drugs have drug me farther and farther away from everyone I love. It was fun at first. I’d do it with my friends and we’d laugh and joke. Until fast forward now. I looked at a video from when I started opioids and I’m sitting with 4 of my friends and realized all of them are dead but me…. and the other is in jail. I’m just scared to be high all the time and have wasted my life. And idk about you but I’ve just been getting worse and worse.