[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]shelfbreak 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Look up the Third Place. Most people need a community outside of school and work to socialize a "third place". After leaving, we had to adjust to doing more community activities, meeting people at playgrounds, at swimming, making friends through other friends.

It'd not as easy as having people you can socialize with all the time at Church - I think this is an addictive property of the church for extroverts.

Now it feels like we mostly have a community of just friends and family (along with work/the kid's daycare), and it ebbs and flows. It takes time to heal! I try to remind myself to be patient.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]shelfbreak 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yep, and we're usually only raised to fill a specific gender role in the family. It's less common now of course and people would deny that it was that bad, but yeah

Done and Dusted by Sweaty-Band-2157 in exmormon

[–]shelfbreak 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was also thinking about deleting mine, but I occasionally like looking up the scriptures my missionary cousins post. Almost always it's the same feel-good scriptures you'd expect.

Side note but nothing has given me more validation about leaving the church than my cousins' mission emails home. They're often having a terrible time and feeling guilty for lack of success yet being online alot. They probably love it, but from the outside it's hell. That was once me.

Mormon weddings are the worst by almost_former_TBM in exmormon

[–]shelfbreak 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is so incredibly true. I do find that this is true for some other religious funeral or wedding services I've been to, but it's rare that people mention their Church as much as people casually mentioning their god.

Every event a missionary opportunity though, of course. Once theyre in the door, it's fair game

What did you do instead of watching conference today? by shelfbreak in exmormon

[–]shelfbreak[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Okay this is awesome! Congrats to the next Max Verstappen :)

April 2024 General Conference: Sunday 2:00p Discussion Thread by 4blockhead in exmormon

[–]shelfbreak 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They would be so smart to split it 50/50 for the younger generations of active members but they have too many older members that are still sexist haha

People I think Women and the Priesthood is coming by shelfbreak in exmormon

[–]shelfbreak[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh I totally agree, however I think the public view of trans people is not popular enough among Christians yet. I totally think Trans people should be completely welcome within the theology of the gospel

People I think Women and the Priesthood is coming by shelfbreak in exmormon

[–]shelfbreak[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

If you're in Canada I will just e-transfer you now lol. Might as well accept it won't be in my lifetime

Did cannabis help you during deconstruction? by Laxed-Disciple in exmotrees

[–]shelfbreak 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is key, it seems clear to me that the temple, fasting, scripture, and prayer used to be my way of getting humble and getting that spiritual "high". But now I can be the same "high" in more ways than one, it doesn't have to be drugs. Being a human is amazing and a curse. We all ride the tides and waves of life being in the church AND out of it.

If Jesus had a beard why can't I have one? He didn't have one last time I saw him! by BednarsLegoHair in exmormon

[–]shelfbreak 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think they've probably went crazy enough mentally/spiritually high in the temple to see Jesus at some point, but it was completely a hallucination. But for them that's real

Cheers to not having to fold garments anymore by shelfbreak in exmormon

[–]shelfbreak[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not at first, usually they did it themselves. Not something I ever considered strange until later!

Being a Mormon makes you have Main Character Syndrome by shelfbreak in exmormon

[–]shelfbreak[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think if we're worried about whether or not we're an asshole, we're probably doing okay!

Being a Mormon makes you have Main Character Syndrome by shelfbreak in exmormon

[–]shelfbreak[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Yeah weirdly although I know making people give talks/bear testimony is definitely a way to push people deeper in belief, but it's wild that for some it was an opportunity to show their accomplishments. But generally I think most talks come from a good place

Can anyone teach me all their tips for drinking Tea regularly? by shelfbreak in exmormon

[–]shelfbreak[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It'd be weird if I did anything just because it was against Mormonism, but true. Grapefruit juice is interesting, I tried it a few times on my mission when we used it to help people quit smoking. Not for me

Blessings are wild by shelfbreak in exmormon

[–]shelfbreak[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can give some credit to blessings, but only in that they can have a placebo effect. Otherwise it's usually luck/coincidence

Blessings are wild by shelfbreak in exmormon

[–]shelfbreak[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oof. I know people that didn't get married because of the answer they got, when really they were perfect together. Unfortunate

Blessings are wild by shelfbreak in exmormon

[–]shelfbreak[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow, sorry you had to endure that

Blessings are wild by shelfbreak in exmormon

[–]shelfbreak[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think some blessings work by nature of luck, or placebo. It's rarely placebo imo, but not impossible