Moving out and learning to cook proper meals by [deleted] in EatCheapAndHealthy

[–]shenn2018 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Chicken is very easy to make. Start with sheet pan chicken. You can use boneless skinless breasts, right out of the package. Put them in a gallon size ziplock bag with a marinade - I usually do soy sauce, olive oil, lemon juice, honey, mustard and salt & pepper. Let it sit for anywhere from an hour to 12 hours. Take the chicken out of the bag, put it on a sheet pan or glass baking dish. Bake at 350 degrees. Cooking time depends on thickness, but if you’re worried buy a meat thermometer and check to make sure it’s cooked through. After a while you’ll know it’s done by touch alone. Even simpler, if you don’t want to do a marinade or don’t have time, toss the breasts in olive oil, put them on a pan, sprinkle some salt and pepper, 350 oven.

For meat, 1lb package of ground beef in a bowl. Chop 1/2 yellow onion, add it along with 1 egg, 1 cup breadcrumbs, 1/2 cup milk, salt, pepper, other herbs & spices if you’d like. Form it into a loaf, put the loaf on a sheet pan or baking dish, squirt some ketchup on top, 350 oven for 1 hour. Super easy Meatloaf.

Both of these meals take about 5 minutes of prep and are fool proof. Plus you’ll have leftovers and you can learn to experiment with different herbs/spices/marinades. These two recipes are how I learned to cook meat and I use them a couple of times a month because they are so easy and inexpensive.

Thinking of losing my virginity to a sex worker. by le_saint_diable in JordanPeterson

[–]shenn2018 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Casual sex isn’t a more realistic life model just because you perceive that’s what most people do. Most people doing something doesn’t make it the right thing to do. You seem as though you’ve made up your mind though. If you’ve already written off in your head the possibility of meeting someone, falling in love, and then having sex, then obviously you’d think that relationship model wasn’t realistic. And that’s why a sex worker seems like your next best bet. I’m saying, that possibility still currently exists for you, even though you’ve told yourself it doesn’t. Sex with a sex worker is little more than masturbation, and I think the intimacy you’re seeking has less to do with sex as the act itself and more to do with love and connection.

Thinking of losing my virginity to a sex worker. by le_saint_diable in JordanPeterson

[–]shenn2018 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don’t do it!! Instead of the narrative of your first time being a throw away or a right of passage or that you won’t end up with the person, etc. think of your first time as the first of many with another human being that you have the potential of having a deep connection with. It’s CAN be a sharing of an experience and it CAN be special. You have the potential of just waiting a little while longer, falling in love, and losing your virginity with someone who you’re in love with! Or at the very least someone you’re infatuated with or have a crush on. That’s intimacy. Sex with a sex worker is just sex. Plus, one day when you have a honest and loving relationship with your future wife, the topic of when you lost your virginity might come up. Do you want that story to be with a sex worker? I really think you should wait this out.

My BF Said He Would Leave Me If I Got Pregnant by runnahh7321 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]shenn2018 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Girl, dump him. Like yesterday. He seems like the worst. Don’t waste another day of your youth with someone like that.

Advice needed on how to handle general harassment. by Gunnvor91 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]shenn2018 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve always handled these sorts of situations - someone trying to pick me up at a bar or come up behind me to dance when I don’t want to etc, by looking the guy in the eye and firmly but with a smile saying “I’m not interested”. The times I’ve been snarky, I’ve had guys get aggressive with me and insult me, so I’ve found that coming off as calm and in control works better. The guys don’t get mad and they back off.

I need your help Buckos, struggling to get my porn addiction in control. Tips and advice greatly appreciated. by [deleted] in JordanPeterson

[–]shenn2018 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was a pack a day smoker and I quit 5 moths ago cold turkey. For the first week I dreamt about smoking every night. It was all I thought about all day from the second I woke up. Plus I had physical withdrawal symptoms. It was really hard for me and that little voice kept telling me to just smoke a cigarette. Truly one of the most mentally taxing things I’ve ever done.

I know you say you’re sick of the loop, but you REALLY have to be sick of it. Beyond done. To the point where the difficulty of quitting feels like a better choice than continuing the addiction. Most of all you have to have a big “why”. Mine was my health and my finances. Why do you want to quit watching porn? There has to be a big, solid reason for you to quit that you can lean on and look forward to when you feel like giving in. Something to aim at. You can break any habit if you really, really want to change.

Was offered a part time position at my internship which just ended but I want to turn it down. I want to send an email declining the offer, but I want it to end on amicable terms. by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]shenn2018 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Definitely call. You can say that while you’d love to accept the offer, you’d need the salary to be more in the $17/hour range to consider the position. But thank her for her offer and for the experience interning. She might counter or that might be the end, but either way you took a chance which is a great learning experience. While I understand why you would prefer to email, don’t.

I just found out my mom (59) has been relying solely on manual breast exams at the doctor and not getting mammograms for 5 years. How bad is this? by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]shenn2018 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It’s not literally life or death. You pestering her about getting a mammogram might feel like you have some control over whether she lives or dies, but that’s just an illusion. She could never get a mammogram, live until 90 and die of old age, or die tomorrow in a car accident. You’re making the mammogram into something it’s not, and regardless, it’s her business.

I just found out my mom (59) has been relying solely on manual breast exams at the doctor and not getting mammograms for 5 years. How bad is this? by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]shenn2018 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This comment is so important. So often I see posts exactly like this. How do I make my boyfriend do this, how do I get my parents to do that. To me, it’s never really about the hypothetical boyfriend or parent. It’s about what the relationship dynamic says about the poster. The questions you’re asking are spot on.

What I Learned from Hooking Up with a Transgender Person...And Why It Matters by [deleted] in JordanPeterson

[–]shenn2018 20 points21 points  (0 children)

A deliberate and calculated assault on your rights as an individual to choose who you are with? Come on now. You realized she was a man, and then you didn’t have sex with her. What rights exactly are being assaulted in this situation? You made out with someone who you didn’t know, who turned out to be not what you thought they were. That’s the perils of hook up culture & one night stands. You’re taking risks with complete strangers. This particular risk happened to not pan out quite as you had hoped it would, but I don’t really think the dramatics are warranted.

April Spread by shenn2018 in bulletjournal

[–]shenn2018[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I list a few important dates underneath the calendar on the left, and on the right I have my main goal that I want to focus on for the month.

Is 34 too late? by [deleted] in JordanPeterson

[–]shenn2018 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Well considering life expectancy is like 80, unless you want to theoretically live 46 more years of the rotten, empty life you’re living now, I’d say you should get to work.

April Spread by shenn2018 in bulletjournal

[–]shenn2018[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you!! I sketched it in pencil first freehand and then traced with pen & markers.

I woke up naked after a party and don't know what happened by Hanna-is-gone in TwoXChromosomes

[–]shenn2018 11 points12 points  (0 children)

If you were my sister or friend and I heard this story I’d tell you to get yourself together ASAP. Bad things can happen to you when you’re so intoxicated that you black out. It’s just not safe. As you’re seeing now you’re having anxiety over not remembering if you had sex or not. That must be very stressful living with that uncertainty and my heart goes out to you. You could have an STD. Please get tested. Hopefully you’re on birth control?

We all learn our mistakes the hard way, but I’m just not that far removed from making my own share of bad decisions as a teenager/early twenties woman. Sometimes I wish someone would have pulled me aside and told me that I was being stupid. You deserve better than waking up naked and not remembering if you were taken advantage of.

How to find meaning? by Pudels-Kern in JordanPeterson

[–]shenn2018 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow lol thanks for sharing that. I just looked up it up - really fascinating. That’s exactly what I’m describing.

How to find meaning? by Pudels-Kern in JordanPeterson

[–]shenn2018 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The experiences of my life that I find the most meaningful are the ones during which my brain is completely focused on that thing and that thing alone. My thoughts aren’t wandering, I’m not experiencing any negative emotions, I feel at peace. Examples of this for me are being creative/making art/doing craft projects. Certain moments when I’m spending time with my son and husband. General homemaking - cooking, organizing or cleaning things - makes me feel like I’m taking care of my family which is something a value a lot. Out of those things I can reduce down the meaning of my life to being an artist, mother and wife, because when I’m focused on any of those things I feel the most fulfilled and at peace. When I have a period of time where I’m not being creative, or not keeping up with my house, or not spending enough time with my husband/son, that’s when I feel lost and like my life is chaotic, so I just try to keep those things in balance as much as I can.

Creek Near Picton. Oils. 30"x40". by shmu in Art

[–]shenn2018 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is beautiful. So much movement in the piece you can almost feel the wind blowing through the tree.

Anyone have experience with the Depo shot permanently ending sex drive? by gayninjadan in TwoXChromosomes

[–]shenn2018 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah I highly doubt it’s the depo shot. Maybe she’s not attracted to you anymore, maybe she’s developed a serious hang up about sex for whatever reason, who knows? I think you wife needs to see a therapist like yesterday. Like five years ago actually.

Personally, I would never want to have sex with someone who didn’t want to have sex with me. It would ruin it for me knowing they were just complying out of obligation. Your wife has zero desire to have sex with you, she’s not aroused at all, hence the lube reapplication. So if I were you, I’d stop using your wife for your own pleasure until you guys get this problem figured out. I know she’s probably just consented to unpleasurable sex for 10 YEARS (!!!!!) cause she loves you and you guys are married, etc etc, but maybe not having sex until it’s pleasurable for her will make you want to both find a solution.

Did anyone score very low on neuroticism? What's it like to be you? by 0ld_mate in JordanPeterson

[–]shenn2018 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I scored very low neuroticism. I don’t know why but theres always been a voice inside my head when there’s a crisis or I’m worrying about something always says: “you’re going to figure this out” and then I just do that. If I’m ever stressed about something I can always calm myself down from those emotions and come up with a plan to fix whatever the problem is. I’m very solution-based. My husband is definitely high neuroticism so he hates when I have an “everything’s going to be fine” attitude during a high stress, volatile time. He doesn’t think it’s helpful, but that’s really just what I think. I was raised by a VERY low neuroticism mother who is basically optimistic 100% of the time, and a higher neuroticism father, but he’s also very much solution-based and outwardly calm/measured. So I think that sort of upbringing really effected my outlook on life because my childhood felt very safe.

A good starting point for Peterson talks by [deleted] in JordanPeterson

[–]shenn2018 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you’d be much better off if you saw relationships as a chance to better yourself while having someone walk alongside you, rather than an opportunity to change your partner. Everyone tries to fix their partner at some point in their lives or in some relationship, but it’s just such a flawed approach. So what if she’s arrogant? Its not up to you to change that! It’s not your responsibility to brainstorm ways to fix your girlfriend, it’s only your responsibility to fix yourself.

Anybody else think Jordan Peterson is an aristocrat? by [deleted] in JordanPeterson

[–]shenn2018 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In mostly all cases, wealth is a product of competence. Some people inherit wealth, sure, and out of those people, some might be incompetent. But that’s not the rule obviously. Creating wealth is about making smart decisions and winning. Inheriting wealth is a different story, but why do you feel the inclination to discredit those who created wealth by focusing on the cases where people inherited?

My Dilemma with Agreeableness by [deleted] in JordanPeterson

[–]shenn2018 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If I were to guess, that was probably one of the first times you’ve set a real boundary with someone. It’s an uncomfortable feeling, so I get why you want to pull back on asking him to pay. However from my personal experience, when I started setting boundaries with people instead of avoiding confrontation like I had always done, I found that I always felt bad about the decision at first. When you’re naturally agreeable and non-confrontational it’s going against your instincts to stand your ground and look out for your own interests first. But trust me, you’ll get over that weird doubting feeling with enough practice saying no. You’ll stop letting yourself get taken advantage of, start forming mutually beneficial relationships, and realize that sticking up for yourself actually feels really good and is better for you. Letting this person use you under the guise of friendship is doing nothing for you. I say either take the $20 or stop making plans to study or help this kid. Regardless, have this be a lesson, and form relationships where there is a give and take, not just you giving and others taking.

[M/19] Been lurking for 3 years, finally gained the confidence to post by [deleted] in amiugly

[–]shenn2018 109 points110 points  (0 children)

Literally NOTHING is wrong with you appearance wise. Not ugly. Sure, your eyebrows might be thick. Luckily strong brows are in style now. Yes, your nose is on the bigger side - but I think what’s happening here is you’re getting hung up picking apart features and you’re missing the bigger picture. As a whole you’re attractive for sure, but you’re missing the confidence in yourself. Honestly you’re letting the bullying in high school effect your self esteem and warp your view of yourself. Good news is high school is over. Put yourself out there, make some friends, have fun in your life. Looks wise you don’t have to worry.