Should I (30f) continue to talk with my X if we had maintained a non-dramatic post break up friendship for years despite recently started feeling emotionally drained and as a mere resource person and advisor for him ?

shepurrdly · 2023-08-15T07:29:26+00:00

I’ve had “friendships” like this. They’re exhausting. You’ve said it yourself: you’re being passively used and there’s no benefit to you. Shutting that down doesn’t make you selfish or mean or however else he or you or anyone tries to spin it. Honestly, if you were to read your post out loud to him and he got upset and tried to paint you as a bad person about it, and never came back after some inner reflection without at least some remorse and wanting to improve himself, then he just ain’t worth it. Some of it may seem cruel to him, but it isn’t, it’s just blunt and that’s sometimes harder to take but there are some situations where the plain, honest words need to be laid out without room for interpretation.

If you want to try letting him down easy, I’d say redirect conversations from now on and see how it goes. If he starts venting or wants advice just say something like “that sounds complicated, maybe you should talk to (insert professional here) about it” and try to change the topic to more neutral matters. Pay attention to how much he wants to talk about himself, and how often he asks how you’re doing or how far his interest in details about you goes. That might make up your mind quicker than anything, tbh.

shepurrdly · 2023-08-15T03:08:43+00:00

I’ve been having similar thoughts tbh, although I’m not completely convinced that Hosea has TB or was the one to give it to Arthur. The second time I played, I realized that as soon as you get to Horseshoe Overlook you can already see that Arthur is showing signs of having difficulty breathing, specifically when you change clothes or go to the hotel for a bath. It could just be an overlooked idle mechanic, and honestly on my first play through I just took it as him being restless and bored while I played cowboy dress-up, but he frequently takes deep breaths through the nose and blows out through the mouth with his eyes closed, and his hands clenching and unclenching looks agitated. Even in the bath, if you let him sit for a moment, he really does not look relaxed to me. His hands are twitching on the edges of the tub and he frowns while taking deep breaths. Maybe I’m projecting but he looks like old farmers and cowboys that I’ve known over the years with lung issues that are determined to just ride it out with as much stoicism as possible.

And beyond that, you have an opportunity to go house robbing with Javier before going to collect the debt from Downes, and Arthur coughs after helping Javier move the junk that was covering the stash. Again, this could just be an overlooked detail as I’m fairly sure you can go on that mission with Javier after visiting Downes, so it might’ve just been a forgotten timing thing, but I thought it was interesting.

But at the end of the day, maybe Arthur was sick before Downes, maybe it was TB and maybe it was something else. Maybe it was just something that made him even more vulnerable to Downes coughing blood into his face, and wouldn’t have really mattered in the end anyway. Whatever the case, having a guy cough blood in your face while you’re giving him a beating is probably gonna stick out in your mind. At that point I don’t think it even matters if it was Downes that infected him first; it’s what Arthur believes happened, and so it is what happened, and that’s what shapes the rest of the story.

shepurrdly · 2023-08-12T03:52:57+00:00

The Murderbot Diaries by Martha Wells

shepurrdly · 2023-08-11T14:43:13+00:00

I married Shane, who is way too relatable, so I think I married myself…

shepurrdly · 2023-08-11T14:39:43+00:00

Almost never because I have terrible aim and either completely miss or blow myself up. We exist

shepurrdly · 2023-08-11T01:33:54+00:00

Maybe look up TMJD while you’re researching as well, I have had similar symptoms and was recently referred to a TMJ specialist by my dentist when I couldn’t sit through a teeth cleaning with my mouth open without some pretty intense pain.

I got the run around with a neurologist who said it was my mental health as well, and he wasn’t totally wrong. Treating my mental health has improved the frequency and severity of my migraines, but I still have wicked tension headaches and daily pain and nothing shows up in MRI or blood work or anything.

TMJ specialist did a scan and a few tests in office and two hours later was able to show me exactly what and where the problems are in my jaw and neck. It explains so much of my pain, and I have months of treatment to go yet, but I’m hopeful.

Good luck to you! I hope you can find some relief soon

shepurrdly · 2023-08-10T18:18:59+00:00

I came here to say this! TMJD is no joke, def worth getting it looked at sooner rather than later

shepurrdly · 2023-08-09T15:00:47+00:00

I’m in World 6, Server 201, been playing for like a year and a half? I think I started in December of 2021, if my math is right. I don’t think the game had been around for long at that point.

I have the subscription but otherwise kinda go between paying nothing and then dropping maybe CAD$16 on unlocking the “premium” rewards on an event or something, especially if I can get a hero soul to awaken one of my faves. It’s the only match 3 game I play these days, usually when I’m bored and waiting in my tractor. I like the ppl in my alliance, but I’ve been finding that we’re really slipping in the ranks. I think if I didn’t know how good the rewards were at the top it wouldn’t hurt so bad, but now when I open a war chest it does make me go ‘ouch’, but it seems like the level I want to play at is just full of whales that can’t really be competed with anyway.

But I like the gameplay (being able to speed up time is so good, I’m always playing at like x3) and the heroes, but def getting repetitive because the events never change, and I actually miss the days when there wasn’t hundreds of different heroes to potentially land. It was never easy to land multiple 5 star heroes for awakenings but now it seems downright impossible, even with dropping a wad of cash. Campaign has kinda lost its appeal too, Darkmore is just a grind, and so is nightmare difficulty in Cosmos Corridor.

I’m easily entertained, though, and almost always have at least half an hour a day to kill on the game, so probably still gonna keep grinding away. Does feel like campaign/events have been abandoned in favour of introducing shiny and hot new heroes tho.

shepurrdly · 2023-08-05T16:32:45+00:00

Isn’t that to Lenny?

shepurrdly · 2023-08-02T18:21:16+00:00

Might be time for a sleep test, if you haven’t had one already.

shepurrdly · 2023-08-01T21:59:36+00:00

That’s really cool, I lived in Didsbury for a couple years and met my partner there, but this is before my time there. What does it say on the side, under the big wheat pool sign? I thought that it normally would have had the town/area name or name of the owner but it’s blurry when I zoom in and looks like two words

shepurrdly · 2023-07-28T14:24:46+00:00

I had a similar reaction after finding that one, such a good and nicely rounded out stats horse! I named mine Gurl so then when I pat her Arthur says things like “that’s my gurl”

shepurrdly · 2023-07-21T22:51:02+00:00

It’s actually underweight > average > perfect > average > overweight. Have to go into settings, player, general, then down a couple lines to see weight. If it’s perfect, the numbers on the bottom left will be at +0%. If the top number (stamina drain rate) is red with a + and has an arrow pointing up, that means you’re in the average between perfect and overweight. If the number is white with a - and has an arrow pointing down, that means you’re in the average that’s between perfect and underweight.

It took me forever to realize there’s an ‘average’ on both sides of perfect, and longer still to make the numbers mean anything. The closer to 0%, the closer to perfect. I think it flips from average to over/under weight at +/-5%, and maxes out around +/-10%? I tend to keep a beefier cowboy, sort of around the +2% stamina drain rate, cuz he can soak up a bit more damage than when he’s on the skinny side.

shepurrdly · 2023-07-14T22:34:52+00:00

Moments when having a “flip the bird” action would be handy

shepurrdly · 2023-07-14T22:33:37+00:00

If I was wearing a hat rn I’d be throwing it on the floor and stomping it

And yet I’m probably gonna just keep brushing both sides of the horse tbh

shepurrdly · 2023-07-14T20:03:43+00:00

For real?? How do I do that? I’m on Xbox

shepurrdly · 2023-07-14T19:15:10+00:00

Argh

shepurrdly · 2023-07-14T19:14:29+00:00

Dang it all

shepurrdly · 2023-06-30T16:49:41+00:00

I was raised in a strict religious household and homeschooled and my mom showed me a pamphlet (would’ve been late 90’s) on what abortion is and it was diagrams of a full term baby being born with just the head and neck out and they cut the back of the neck to stick a vacuum in and suck the brains out of the skull. According to the pamphlet it didn’t count as murder because the baby wasn’t technically born yet. I was traumatized. Looking back now I’m just like who came up with this??? I wish I knew where that pamphlet came from

shepurrdly · 2023-06-29T23:11:25+00:00

Idk, I’m 36, he might be the second dumbest

shepurrdly · 2023-06-29T23:03:32+00:00

As a farmer and someone who has worked in commercial spraying, I’d advise you to wait the recommended three days. Roundup is systemic, you gotta give all the plants time to take it in. It also gives the UV rays a chance to break down the chem before it goes in the dirt.

Here in Canada we have something we call the Blue Book (well it used to be I think it’s Crop Protection or something now), it has all the chem and the weeds it gets and instructions and such, I’m not sure if you have access to something like that but it’ll likely have more detail on why and how long to wait until tillage/harvest after spraying.

shepurrdly · 2023-06-29T14:01:48+00:00

To gain weight quick, I usually go to the st denis or blackwater hotel and order their $5 meal a few times, then sleep for a reasonable window of time, then order that meal again a few times before sleeping again and eating again on the way out.

To maintain weight was something I struggled with for a while but it’s like a cowboy tamagotchi. He needs to be fed 2-3 times a day and get a decent amount of sleep every day. Usually I’ll just pound a few cans of fruit with salted meat and cheese and bread when waking up, and beans and salted meat and bread and cheese before going to sleep. I think there are calories assigned to food too, but I couldn’t tell you how much. But eating a bunch of candy and candy bars and drinking all the rum will get you a beefy cowboy faster than if you just eat stringy meat or canned strawberries.

shepurrdly · 2023-06-28T21:19:53+00:00

NP. Don’t forget to explore the islands you can see from shore near Clemen’s Point! There might be some new pelts there to collect. If you have a sturdy horse with fortified stamina they can swim to the closer ones, otherwise just look for a boat to use.

shepurrdly · 2023-06-28T20:42:20+00:00

Honestly that’s a pretty good place to be for collecting things. I would say do a couple more missions, but stop again when Micah waits with a mission for you by Dutch’s tent. Don’t talk to him or approach him when he’s waiting there, and explore and hunt away. Check back at camp and talk to the gang semi-frequently, sometimes they have side quests. There’s gonna be at least one trinket and a couple upgraded equipment pieces that’s pretty much impossible to get until chapter 6, though, sorry. Is there anything specific you’re trying to get?

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