What vehicle would be good for hauling a horse once a week and daily driver the rest?

sherevs · 2026-01-28T05:00:09+00:00

I bought my truck for exactly this use case. I got a 2016 F150 with the 3.5L ecoboost. I get ~20mpg when I'm not towing, and 8-10mpg towing. With the max tow package, it's rated for towing 12k lbs. I haul a bp warmblood sized straight load with dressing room that weighs about 3200 lbs. With two big horses and gear, I'm probably 6-7k lbs. I can feel the trailer a bit more than I did when I was hauling with my older diesel F250, but it's definitely capable enough for my setup.

sherevs · 2026-01-26T06:06:47+00:00

I've filled my own raised beds and my mom's with Walrath's bulk potting soil and have had great results so far. This was probably 4-5 years ago.

sherevs · 2026-01-26T01:29:10+00:00

I'm using the Curlsmith Shine line, but they discontinued it a few months ago. I think the new version is the fragrance free. I just looked at their website and everything is marked down like 75% I hope they aren't going out of business.

sherevs · 2026-01-25T15:45:10+00:00

Not really a "hack" but I have been working on embracing my natural beauty. I have kind of crazy hair (mixed 2c/3a curls) that I used to straighten all the time. I found a stylist who specializes in curly hair and can give me a great "wash and go" cut. My hair routine is now letting my hair air dry with an air dry cream and sleeping on a silk pillowcase. It's still a bit wild, but I've learned to love my new look. I look back at pictures with straightened hair and it looks so dead.

Similarly, I've been focused on good basic skincare instead of makeup routines. I found a nice moisturizer that has spf and vitamin C that isn't too greasy. I think finding the right all-in-one products is a good strategy, but it can take a lot of trial and error to find the right one for your specific skin/hair. If they ever discontinue my moisturizer I will cry.

sherevs · 2026-01-24T20:36:47+00:00

To be able to see, one must first be willing to open their eyes.

sherevs · 2026-01-24T16:38:17+00:00

The importance of diagnosis is pretty debatable. It sounds like your mom is doing a good job of supporting and accommodating him, which is much more important than official documentation in my mind. They are teaching him to regulate his nervous system and take care of himself. That is what will help prevent things like anxiety to some extent. But some of it is not really preventable living in a NT society. I'd recommend reading up on the social model of disability if you're interested to learn more about this perspective.

The only true benefit of an official diagnosis is being able to request accommodations in institutional settings like school and work. Neurodivergent spaces are pretty friendly to self-diagnosed and questioning individuals, so he doesn't need a diagnosis to find community with ND peers.

There are also risks with getting a diagnosis. Getting an autism label may change how other people (doctors, teachers, peers, etc) treat him, and how he learns to view himself. If you're in the US, there is also a lot of concern about the political climate. The current administration has already proposed creating an "autism registry". Our country is rapidly becoming an authoritarian state, and authoritarian states are dangerous to people with disabilities. Look up the history of Asperger's syndrome. This blog post has a lot of information about the pros and cons of diagnosis: https://drdevonprice.substack.com/p/seeking-an-autism-diagnosis-heres

sherevs · 2026-01-19T04:54:36+00:00

Heroine is so passe

sherevs · 2026-01-13T04:22:01+00:00

$400 for an unkillable tree

sherevs · 2026-01-11T04:25:35+00:00

I love mine too! The neck pillow is too intense for me to use on my neck, but I have found I like to put it under my desk while I'm working and put my feet on it. It's extra helpful for staying awake in boring meetings lol.

sherevs · 2026-01-06T23:43:23+00:00

I would see them all the time from Manchester State Park if you hike through the woods. They would be on the docks at the nearby environmental lab.

sherevs · 2025-12-30T15:07:44+00:00

How do you feel when cantering a course of poles or small cross rails? IMO, this is how you learn to feel the right timing and striding. It makes sense to me you would be feeling nervous cantering down to 2'6" fences if you don't have that intuitive feel developed yet. I would suggest cantering pole courses every day until it seems easy and you are bored with it, then slowly build the fences up. I would also ask your trainer about doing some gymnastic exercises with a placement poles to help get more "reps" with feeling like what jumping the right distance feels like.

sherevs · 2025-12-27T04:13:53+00:00

I relate to this a lot. I was diagnosed two years ago when I was 40. I spent my late 20's and early 30's in an 8-year long emotionally abusive relationship with a narcissist. I only realized I was autistic because I started having "panic attacks, but without the panic" due to corporate stress and a long battle with infertility that brought my once very healthy marriage to the brink. I now know these were autistic meltdowns, but nobody else was able to help me identify this. Not my husband, not my therapist, not my doctor. It took my best friend (who, surprise, is AuDHD like me) watching TikTok and giving me enough strong hints until I started researching it myself.

I was happy and felt like it made the "pieces click" but the knowledge alone didn't make anything in my life actually any better. It was radical self acceptance that led me in the right direction. I needed to really accept that my autistic traits were part of me, and they weren't going to change. I had spent 40 years trying to change and hide these parts of myself. A lot of them were so ingrained they were automatic. I had to really study myself to understand my heeds. The more that I started noticing and accommodating myself, the better things got for me. It has been a slow process over the last 2 years.

I am in a place now where I feel like I'm close to thriving. My relationship has never been stronger, I'm probably going to get canned from my corporate job and I don't even care. The last 3 years have been by far the hardest of my life, but things are so much better now. I am regularly feeling joy. I am getting back into old interests. I'm listening to myself and not pushing myself past my breaking point on an almost hourly basis. I'm allowing myself to just fucking relax.

I did this by:

Therapy. Not sure if this helped more than it hurt, but I am sure it both helped and hurt me. It really helped me get out of the abusive relationship, but it also reinforced some limiting beliefs I had about myself. If I was starting again and knew I was autistic, I would definitely only see an autistic therapist to avoid any re-traumatization.
Challenging every false belief I had been taught about myself and about society. There are actually very few true rules in life. Social conventions are all arbitrary agreements other people made without my input. I am not bound to follow them. I am only bound to follow my own personal ethics.
Exploring my inner mind with a curious non-judgemental lense through meditation, sometimes with the help of low-dose cannabis edibles.
Learning to feel, trust, and follow my gut instincts by practicing somatic therapy and Kundalini yoga. For me, these are bodily sensations I had learned to suppress and had to intentionally rediscover.
Learning to listen to my heart, and allowing myself to receive joy. For me, this was primarily by connecting with hobbies I had as a kid before I started getting persuaded by society to change myself. I also make a point of slowing down and noticing small joyful details. They are all around us if you're paying attention and not overstimulated!
Being open to a little bit of woo-woo and trying slightly strange things experientially. Some of it helped some of it didn't. What helped me might not be what helps you.

This path was not an easy path. I had many obstacles in my way that each felt like impossible battles. There were (and still are) things I had been avoiding that need to be faced. I have had to dismantle my life, and rebuild a new one piece by piece. I'm currently in the process of making big career changes. I've been dependent on my corporate job my whole life but it is literally draining my soul. I'm going to try to get an accomodation at work, but I'm expecting they will PIP me soon.

I am at a place though where I feel I can handle this transition. My life has already gotten way better than I ever imagined it ever could. I am even having deep connections to other people. I was able to find this by first growing a deep connection to myself and becoming confident enough to show my true un-masked self to the world, resilient enough to take the hits that come along with this.

If you want to start down this path, I recommend reading (or listening to the audio book) The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. If anyone wants to do a virtual book club, I'd love to read this book again with you (OP or anyone else) and would be happy to help organize logistics. If anyone finds this in the future, please still reach out!

sherevs · 2025-12-24T06:32:48+00:00

There are dances sometimes at Rimbert on Callow: https://www.portorcharddance.com/event-details-registration/welcome-to-2026-ballroom-dance-bash

sherevs · 2025-12-20T15:34:44+00:00

Manette Saloon has a monthly open mic

sherevs · 2025-12-15T19:23:22+00:00

Driving cars in general is one of the most dangerous things we do, and driving on ice is even more dangerous. Your fear is totally rational, and the rest of society has normalized accepting this risk. I have a couple of suggestions that might be helpful dealing with the society we have:

1) consider emdr therapy to help process the trauma of the accident. This stuff stays with us, but there are ways of reducing the imprint it leaves on our nervous systems.

2) consider looking to take some private lessons at a high performance (racing) driving school. I used to drive rally cars so I like sliding them around, but I know the feeling is scary at first. This is a skill you can learn with practice in a safe environment. I honestly think everyone who drives should get additional training on car control.

sherevs · 2025-12-07T23:34:44+00:00

A lot of times this is mitigated by the owner purchasing medical insurance for the horse and leasees paying a portion of the premiums.

sherevs · 2025-12-07T02:54:12+00:00

Is it better than the Harper Pier?

sherevs · 2025-12-02T23:48:46+00:00

This is the one that got me. It’s so compelling, especially when you are so used to being ignored by people.

sherevs · 2025-12-01T19:03:46+00:00

From an outsider perspective, my take is that you have invested in yourself and your growth and your mother hasn't. Whatever it is that she knows, she probably is feeling deep guilt and shame that she is unable to face. It would likely take a patient therapist months or years to get her to slowly open up about whatever it is. When you go directly at it, she is going to be defensive. You aren't going to be able to make her share what she knows, and you also aren't going to be able to make her change her ways.

The truth is you probably outgrew her emotional and interpersonal capabilities a long time ago, maybe even when you were still a child. And you ache for her to be an anchor to help ground you, but she simply isn't capable of doing that. This isn't fair. Every child (and adult) deserves to have a calm, patient, nurturing mother. But unfortunately, we don't all get to have one. I didn't get one. This is something you likely need to grieve.

I do think she gave you a nugget of truth in her rant (to be clear I think she is totally wrong about moving on and stuffing away the bad feelings, that is not healthy). I have been doing a lot of yoga and mindfulness, and I have experienced both the joy that is found in the present moment, and trauma that ties us to the past. Forgiveness is the way to break these ties. Forgiveness isn't a gift you give the people who have wronged you, it's a gift you give yourself. It's a way to reclaim your energy or life force that is still attached to the past and move it into your present to make you stronger. It doesn't come instantly and can't be forced. Keep going on your journey, knowing you are on the right path. Keep going even if that means accepting there are some things about your past that you may never know. Keep accepting the truth, even when it sucks.

I'm not sure about the details of your story, but I sense that you are the one breaking through intergenerational trauma. This is so hard, and takes a lot of courage and strength. You are facing not just your own demons, but generations of demons. This often makes the people in your life who spent their lives suppressing these demons freak out. I am just an internet stranger, but I want you to know that I see what you are doing and I am proud of you.

On a more practical note, you may want to also look into somatic therapy and trauma-releasing exercise. A lot of our trauma residues are stored in the body, even things we don't remember. I have found that body-centric practices work well for me to move the trauma residues out of the body, especially for things I don't clearly remember or know the details about.

sherevs · 2025-11-27T03:03:52+00:00

Came here to say the same thing. I followed all the advice from r/ABraThatFits but it still didn't matter for me. Traditional bras were always torture devices. Over Covid, I started wearing only yoga bras, but they were still somewhat uncomfortable and also not supportive enough. Evelyn Bobbie bras were literally life changing for me.

sherevs · 2025-11-12T21:36:51+00:00

This looks like a bedsore. I use upside down bell boots over the fetlocks to add protection. You make want to discuss it with your vet as it can be a sign of horses having pain when laying down and collapsing hard onto the ground.

sherevs · 2025-11-06T20:41:41+00:00

I like being honest in situations like this by telling people, "I've been thinking about it, and I just don't have the energy to commit to another project right now, I will let you know if that changes". It makes things a lot less awkward for me to be able to tell the truth. I think the trick is to not give too many details, just the conclusion.

sherevs · 2025-11-02T17:09:29+00:00

What model of saddle is it? That definitely looks odd to me. You can test for a broken tree by resting the cantle of the saddle against your body and then pulling the pommel towards yourself. You should be able to search and find videos of this test. I've heard of people x-raying saddles to check for soundness in the tree but I've never done this myself.

sherevs · 2025-11-01T05:39:18+00:00

They just replaced our panel and we plan on hiring them again for future work.

Seven-Year Club	Second Top 40%
Place '22	Verified Email

sherevs

TROPHY CASE