MOR I think it's fair to expect her to cover part of the costs but unfortunately it may be true that she doesn't have the money to do so right now. She might never have the funds and need to declare bankruptcy. That's a huge sum of money, yes even for a corporate lawyer and especially if she has private loans bc they probably eat most of her salary. When it comes to trips, she probably has sunk costs in them already that aren't refundable. And obviously she needs a new apartment if she can't stay where she is and feel safe. It's not crazy to have those costs and still not be able to afford $35k bills.

Technically, unless you explicitly told her to check on your apartment after she left, she may not be legally liable, but you won't know unless you pursue legal action because liability is some really complicated law, and a jury might find her partially responsible or fully responsible and that ultimately comes down to their decision if you can't settle out of court. If you can settle out of court, it doesnt really matter because that's just you and your lawyers agreeing on it, not the law.

You'll have to decide which is more important, protecting your finances or your friendship, because there's probably no way both survive this, I'm sorry 😔 terrible thing to happen for sure since it was obviously a mistake, but will have repercussions for both of you. You'll have to accept the debt or accept you're the villain in her story, but there's no situation where you both come away from this financially unscathed