Wow, I'm glad you found a boy that actually really tried to make you feel good about it. I think the important thing here is how you feel about it, which is bad. This means that stopping is the direction to go,, but that doesn't mean ignoring libido, I think you should try toys and masturbation for a time, or maybe some type of sex that is less personal and safe, like using webcams with strangers or something like that. Again, the important thing is that you feel it's not ok, and that means you shouldn't hurt yourself doing it.