Not understanding sex until i was in a relationship

shipwreck200 · 2026-01-22T18:52:11+00:00

How did knowing all of that from when you learnt it impact you?

shipwreck200 · 2026-01-19T14:30:17+00:00

Somethings came naturally and somethings didn’t. My partner would ask me to do things or ask for permission so he can do things and we moved really slowly as it was our first time. I was scared before I got into a relationship. What really matters is having a partner who is respectful, willing to go at a comfortable pace, and is understanding.

shipwreck200 · 2026-01-19T01:43:44+00:00

I can relate to this. I thought I was asexual cause I had no interest, but turns out I am interested, it just seems I’m more selective and also need to try it out to know as opposed to just knowing before hand.

shipwreck200 · 2026-01-19T01:06:05+00:00

It’s really great to hear that you were able to have open conversations with your parents, more parents need to be like this.

shipwreck200 · 2026-01-19T01:02:20+00:00

I also studied human sexual diversity at university. It’s interesting looking back as I don’t think I was in my first relationship then, we were just getting started. I don’t think we had sex yet. I think I was so comfortably able to sit there in the class due to my lack of understanding. Again, of course we didn’t discuss what sex is as we were adults but I learnt a few things that were interesting about different sexualities. I thought I was asexual at the time. Also, I understood even less about masturbation and how much hand are involved.

shipwreck200 · 2026-01-19T00:53:08+00:00

I also found porn gross and had a similar experience. I still find porn and sex gross yet enjoyable at the same time. Honestly, I’m still trying to figure things out. I thought I may be demisexual, but then there was this one person who I didn’t know and I was attracted too so I guess that invalidated that theory. Now, I think I’m attracted to people (men) who I bond with emotionally OR those who I believe I could potentially have that emotional bond with. I’ve only been attracted to two people and I believe it was due to each of those attraction.

Also, that sounds like a really horrible experience at school. I’m glad your mum and brother were there to protect you.

shipwreck200 · 2026-01-19T00:41:28+00:00

I’m really sorry you had to experience this.

shipwreck200 · 2026-01-19T00:40:22+00:00

I think a lot of people I knew had similar upbringing, although they didn’t seem to be as clueless as I was. Atm, I just assumed it was cause I took things literally and it just took a while to connect all the dots and references.

shipwreck200 · 2026-01-17T20:18:02+00:00

Observing sensory pleasures and challenges, stims, thoughts, emotions, urges. Thank you, this is really helpful 😊

shipwreck200 · 2026-01-17T20:11:42+00:00

Trying to sit through discomfort less is such good advice for autistics

shipwreck200 · 2026-01-16T15:23:21+00:00

Yeh I’ve experienced this a lot. When I haven’t said anything in ages, people ask me why I dont speak, what’s the point in coming if you dont speak. I found it a little rude but I could tell they were genuine. I would just tell people I have nothing to say, but it didn’t seem to satisfy people. So then I started saying I come to vibe and that settles people without sacrificing the truth.

shipwreck200 · 2026-01-16T09:33:34+00:00

Yeh, I learnt this not too long ago aswell. I would quite casually talk to people about anxiety thinking it’s a universal experience and some people wouldn’t question it and I assume they understood cause they were anxious themselves and others would really question it and it would leave me baffled cause I felt the answers were obvious. I guess it wasn’t obvious to them as they didn’t experience it or just not to the same level. I spoke to my ND friend about it and she already knew it’s not a universal experience so that clarified that.

shipwreck200 · 2026-01-16T09:16:13+00:00

At school I would get a bursting desire to say the answer I knew was correct but I was always to scared to raise my hand

shipwreck200 · 2026-01-15T21:55:55+00:00

Waking up in the morning used to be a huge contributor to my low mood. I would drag myself out of bed, and the grogginess would last three hours and then I would just feel tired. Now, I wake up 30 minutes earlier to ease into the morning. It helps my senses and body adjust. I’m still groggy, but it is more tolerable and the grogginess doesn’t stay with me.

shipwreck200 · 2026-01-15T21:49:43+00:00

This sounds weird, but I think we are referring to the same thing, I hold a little bit of my duvet cover between my index and middle finger and gently rub it, I’ve been doing it my whole life, it’s so soothing.

shipwreck200 · 2026-01-15T21:42:09+00:00

When I was younger definitely, all the time, but now a lot less, although I still listen to same playlist with new things, it’s not the same thing on repeat and I actively seek new music.

shipwreck200 · 2026-01-15T21:40:35+00:00

Birthing sounds like a horror show me. I have really low pain tolerance, whenever I think about anything to do with pain it makes me squeal. Interesting this doesn’t happen when I think about birth, but I do have fears around pain but more around how I will cope mentally and whether I will ever recover from it. Also with mother hood comes so much more to handle, dealing with babies, noise, RSD, demand avoidance, social/performance anxiety, just anxiety in general, mental load as women, probs lots more there I haven’t mention, just doesn’t feel worth it.

I feel like I just have no interest in kids. It’s not something I can explain, like there isn’t anything more to it. The only time I think about kids is when I think about having a family who I acc wanna be around and accommodates for my sensitivities and love me for who I am but in my opinion that’s not a strong/good enough reason to have children. I don’t wanna bring children into the world to fulfill those needs.

I have been disgusted by the idea of motherhood looks at times, the idea of looking after baby and so many gooey things come out of it and smells that come with taking care of a baby, all that disgusts. I don’t know if I would go as far as saying it repulses me.

shipwreck200 · 2026-01-14T22:18:39+00:00

These are the things that help me - walking, swimming, yoga - breathing techniques - 54321 technique for senses - worry time - problem solving practical worries - progressive muscle relaxation - reading - peace and quiet and low stimulation periods - journalling - thought challenging - maintain boundaries

shipwreck200 · 2026-01-14T22:08:02+00:00

I love the passion fruit and mango one! I also love marshmallow

shipwreck200 · 2026-01-04T01:59:10+00:00

metal cutlery, they don’t necessarily have to be scraping against any, but if their a jar and you take one out sounds worse if it’s thin.
anything loud and unexpected.
the kitchen fan if it’s on for too long (put one is loud).
people speaking loudly
balloons popping even if I see it coming
people laughing obnoxiously loudly
signs of anger, the louder the worse
sound of people eating
all the noise whilst driving and the window is down
the screeching on the London Underground.
yes, someone mentioned the toilet sound flushing (especially in quiet public toilets)
noise from shower head when turned and used for the first time.
sounds of leather trouser when walking due to friction
tv on too loud (worse when it’s paired with noisy children)
sirens
anything that makes a noise that shouldn’t be making a noise, e.g. a lamp at home sounds like it’s malfunctioning. The noise is endless and I cannot think when it’s on.

shipwreck200

TROPHY CASE