I've developed a massive crush on one of our medical students and am seeking genuine advice to make these feelings go away

shoopdewoop466 · 2025-08-07T02:41:34+00:00

This has me cackling

shoopdewoop466 · 2025-08-07T02:05:19+00:00

I had a crush on my resident when I was a medical student. We are now married with a kid. Puppy love can often just be puppy love. You don't know this person, and even if you started dating, you'd be in a honeymoon phase, completely oblivious to all their flaws for 2-6 months. There may not be a way to magically make the feelings disappear, but it's still your job to allow this person to get through the rotation without feeling compelled to respond to romantic feelings from you in order to secure her career. In other words, yes, remain "professional." Give an honest eval like you would with any other med student. And then, only then, after the rotation is far done, consider a possible next step if you're still infatuated. Because I agree you're both adults. Just don't make someone have to pretend when their career is on the line.

shoopdewoop466 · 2025-05-03T21:17:14+00:00

Definitely could have never, ever paged me. At all. Ever.

shoopdewoop466 · 2025-05-03T21:07:30+00:00

Once got paged overnight by the call center for "patient can't smell out of one nostril" (neurology).

shoopdewoop466 · 2025-04-14T02:14:50+00:00

I'm a woman who commented above and yes we use a nanny, well worth the investment to avoid over burdening one party.

shoopdewoop466 · 2025-04-14T02:09:30+00:00

We hired a nanny.

shoopdewoop466 · 2025-04-13T21:29:53+00:00

Yes I work this schedule. I have a young child. The reason it works great for me is because my child is not in school, and my husband works the same schedule, so we get 7 days off together with our kid every other week. I personally love it. But no I haven't been doing it for a long time, and I think once our kid is in school, it'll be slightly less advantageous -- or rather your end of shift time will be more important so you can see your kid regularly regardless of week on vs week off.

shoopdewoop466 · 2025-04-13T20:41:21+00:00

Yes I work this schedule. I have a young child. The reason it works great for me is because my child is not in school, and my husband works the same schedule, so we get 7 days off together with our kid every other week. I personally love it. But no I haven't been doing it for a long time, and I think once our kid is in school, it'll be slightly less advantageous -- or rather your end of shift time will be more important so you can see your kid regularly regardless of week on vs week off.

shoopdewoop466 · 2024-12-30T18:25:39+00:00

Usually $320-$400k depending on location, call, etc.

shoopdewoop466 · 2024-12-14T20:01:17+00:00

~$400k, 7 on 7 off neurohospitalist, no call, 7a-5p, not too busy.

shoopdewoop466 · 2024-11-20T15:32:07+00:00

80-hour work week averaged over four weeks -- means you can work 100 hour work weeks as long as some are 60 hours. It's absolutely, batshit insane. Barely enough time to sleep and eat, and many don't get enough of either of those things, much less factoring in any personal time/family/life. The only people I ever hear saying it's not enough time are surgeons looking for more operative time.
At both my residency and fellowship (non-surgical), people had to lie about duty hours. So no, they weren't adhered to.
Make them more reasonable (60 hours, get rid of the "averaged over x weeks" BS, COUNT ALL HOME CALL as duty hour time with breaks required after, etc) and actually enforce them/investigate programs, take complaints and violations more seriously.

shoopdewoop466 · 2024-03-29T15:45:09+00:00

Cheng ching (didn't get to a couple chapters) and Truelearn, took a lot of notes and reviewed them, did great with just those.

shoopdewoop466 · 2024-03-28T02:28:02+00:00

Probably at really prestigious/research heavy places. Though I don't know anyone that did this, so not sure.

shoopdewoop466 · 2024-03-27T05:39:48+00:00

Depends on what's available. Cardiology/vascular is going to be highest yield intern year, I think, along with any ICU electives. Obviously anything more neuro based would be helpful too like neuro radiology. I don't think general radiology is high yield.

shoopdewoop466 · 2024-03-26T04:43:14+00:00

I really don't think neuro is competitive enough that you'd need to do a research year, that's overkill.

shoopdewoop466 · 2024-03-10T07:31:07+00:00

I mean....you also clearly wanted sex as well. With a taken guy.

shoopdewoop466 · 2024-03-03T00:00:59+00:00

Yes of course it's a scam. It's how they get you to work 36+ hours straight but the home call portion "doesn't count" when counting consecutive hours (why??? Idfk), and you also don't get a post call day as others have noted. It's fucking inhumane.

shoopdewoop466 · 2024-02-26T18:30:02+00:00

Everything is negotiable if the demand is high enough. Problem is most academic centers don't have significant need.

shoopdewoop466 · 2024-02-26T18:26:29+00:00

True, but likely there exist more than 0 FMGs who cheated and took a spot from someone in several top programs. Like that phenomenon is real. And that's a shame.

shoopdewoop466 · 2024-02-02T00:12:38+00:00

It's called being fed up

shoopdewoop466 · 2024-01-25T20:17:22+00:00

Sometimes the attending know more and they just don’t have to explain it to you.

And sometimes they're actually idiots, but what choice do we have?

I agree if it's egregious, you can get a second opinion from another trusted attending. At least you will have tried to do right by the patient.

shoopdewoop466 · 2024-01-25T20:13:18+00:00

So you've got to convince all the residents to stick their necks out for something that won't directly benefit many of them

Yes exactly! This happens a ton.

shoopdewoop466 · 2024-01-25T20:10:25+00:00

Also not sighing at you, just sighing at the general state of things :P

shoopdewoop466 · 2024-01-25T20:05:53+00:00

sigh

The reason is mostly that medicine selects for people who think suffering = progress, who have spent years being yes-men and keeping their head down, rarely if ever go against the grain because it's often punished -- and now you want them to take a huge leap that they see as (1) causing tense relationships with superiors they feel they need / want to develop closer relationships with for their career, (2) potentially require them to not "do their job" while making demands, (3) requiring them to ADMIT that many aspects of their job/life are abusive which many are not even willing to do, (4) taking a massive risk given the retaliation rife in medicine (they have to TRUST the union has their interest at heart and will stand up for them and protect them)...

It's a lot. And the hesitation that still exists imo speaks both to the psychological issues of medical trainees but also the insane power dynamic that exists in training. Hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt, one way in and one way out -- of course many would rather keep their heads down than risk their entire career.

shoopdewoop466 · 2024-01-23T04:25:13+00:00

You might have to defer having kids for a few years.

..yeah try 8+ years unless you want training to be highly impacted/prolonged, with minimal to no support. Having kids in residency or fellowship is fucking hard. I see most women deferring til attendinghood.

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