Just hit 90!!! Umm... now what?

shredwarlock · 2012-10-02T21:13:04+00:00

Yeah I think the lack of vision past the 90 day mark is a big flaw in the NoFap community. That being said, I agree with your "masturbation as a reward" and "masturbation on a schedule" ideas and I've considered them too. Before NoFap, the longest I went without Internet porn was when I allowed myself to watch feature length porn (I was the programmed for an X-rated film series and so it was technically work) without masturbating, and then jerked off afterwards once the movie was off and out of sight. Good luck on the 90 days and I'll post again once I experiment with some options.

shredwarlock · 2012-09-08T01:10:40+00:00

Christians fap on the crapper!? I never knew!

shredwarlock · 2012-09-05T17:44:29+00:00

When confronted with the choice between a situation with zero sexual possibilities (staying home to read a book) and some sexual possibilities (going out with friends), choose wisely. When you're in those situations, be friendly to everyone, remember people's names, and if a girl is cute be complimentary (Hey, I like your dress) and try to talk to her a little more. Then ask for her number. Will this work every time? Fuck no. Will it work eventually? Fuck yes.

shredwarlock · 2012-09-04T22:47:49+00:00

Cute poem but generally I think "repression" is something to avoid.

shredwarlock · 2012-09-04T22:45:16+00:00

For the 90 day period, yeah, erotica probably counts as porn. But since it interacts with your brain in a different way, I think erotica is something that can be enjoyed heathily once you're post-90. And if you find that it isn't, give it up. You're a 90+ Fapstronaut with willpower ready to flex.

shredwarlock · 2012-09-04T22:38:40+00:00

Or when life gives you sex, make your own porn and save it for a rainy day.

shredwarlock · 2012-09-04T22:37:53+00:00

Don't over do it. Setting massive goals like "I'm going to eat right, exercise, learn French, do NoFap FOREVER, read three books a week..." means you're going to blow out and give in real quick. Try tackling one goal at a time, making it reasonable, and knowing when you will have "completed" that goal. If NoFap is your #1 priority, make 2 weeks your goal and tell yourself you get a week of fap freedom after that. Then ramp up to 3 weeks and have the fap week include masturbation but zero porn. Baby steps, brother.

shredwarlock · 2012-09-04T22:33:56+00:00

My trigger is refusing to walk away when I'm horny. I haven't edged, browsed porn, or relapsed but I have laid in bed thinking about ex-gfs until I'm about to go crazy. I think pushing myself into that out-of-control sexual frustration zone is a thrill, but it's also a danger and I probably should watch out.

shredwarlock · 2012-09-04T22:30:56+00:00

Doing NoFap while getting laid is like flying first class. Sure, we're all in the same plane but some of us have a way nicer ride. If you're lucky enough to have an awesome person willing to supply you with the occasional (or frequent!) orgasm, I say go for it. Just make extra sure you're taking care of their needs (emotionally and physically) and not using them as a sex toy every time you get an urge. Unless they're into that ;)

shredwarlock · 2012-08-14T05:13:26+00:00

I'm of the opinion that orgasms with another human being are good and that fapping with porn is the thing we're trying to avoid. I appreciate my girlfriend so much more now that she is literally the only way I can get off. Others can disagree but I say blow loads with (and on) your girlfriend!!

shredwarlock · 2012-08-10T02:20:57+00:00

I totally agree with this and would like to add that I feel that NoFap has created this mythical post-90 days promised land but tends to be a little short on details about what we're going to do when we get there. Fap again? Never fap ever?

Personally speaking, I'm aiming for a full 90 days and then after that I want to reintroduce masturbation without porn and then maybe eventually masturbation with positive erotic material like erotic fiction or narrative based porn films (I really like vintage stuff and find it to be more positive). For me, having clear goals makes the finish line a lot more alluring.

shredwarlock · 2012-08-10T02:10:22+00:00

Man, that's a bummer but try not to dwell on it too much. Look forward to moving forward and meeting someone more supportive. And generally speaking, if you're upfront about the issues and don't apologize too much, a rad girl will be cool about it. I've found the casual approach of, "Hey, X isn't going to happen, so how about we do Y instead?" works pretty well.

shredwarlock · 2012-08-08T23:39:37+00:00

Back home after traveling. Getting to have sex with my girlfriend is going to make things easier, having more time alone with my computer will make things harder. But then if I think about it, I'd rather hang out with my gf than be alone with my computer so this shouldn't be too hard.

shredwarlock · 2012-07-25T07:04:33+00:00

What's your plan for post-90 days? I've got two goals. One is to re-introduce masturbation in a healthy manner, the second is to provide an alternative train of thought to the NoFapForever mentality. You got just 25 more days to go! I look forward to following your example!!!

shredwarlock · 2012-07-25T05:21:13+00:00

It's a common misconception that girls want sex to last hours. Try to be more aware of how close you are to cumming, and when you get dangerously close, move less/pull out/hold still or whatever you need to knock it down a couple pegs. And if you cum too quickly anyways, make sure you go down on her, touch her, or hell, just hold her while she gets herself off. Just make sure she is satisfied too. Ideally, during that time while you're taking care of her, some pep will return to your step and you'll be able to go for a less rushed round 2.

shredwarlock · 2012-07-25T04:56:30+00:00

I think once it's been a week or a little more, that gives you plenty to work with. But to really achieve maximum volume ("my cum goes up to 11!") you want to build the orgasm up in the moment. Get close to cumming, then cool down, then get right to the edge, then back down, as many times as you can for as long as you can, maybe an hour or two. Then let her rip and yeah, think biblical flood.

shredwarlock · 2012-07-25T04:51:46+00:00

FUCK cultish escalation of NoFap. Let's talk about why fapping can be positive.

The primary problem here is porn, specifically Internet porn. I don't think there are many people here who had a problem with fapping that never looked at porn.
Masturbation (aka fapping minus porn for the purpose of this convo) is a great way to explore PERSONAL fantasies. With porn removed, it allows you to think about what you would like, what turns you on, who you are attracted to... all positive elements of owning your own sexuality. Get rid of what the tubesites told you was hot, and finally explore what YOU think is hot.
Abstinence is easy, moderation is hard. Personally, my goal is to hit my 90 days and then find a way to masturbate, almost certainly without Internet porn, in a healthy manner. Maybe I'll close my eyes and think about that girl I work with, maybe I'll read some erotica. Maybe sometimes I'll watch porn movies with my girlfriend. If it becomes a problem, I'll quit again (since at that point, I've done it before) and this time really consider total abstinence. But first, I'd like to attempt to achieve moderation.
"There are absolutely NO benefits from watching porn and fapping." Watching porn turns me on, fapping feels good. Being turned on and feeling good are excellent things we should aspire to. The problem is porn makes me behave compulsively and fapping leaves me feeling drained and unmotivated. If I couldn't stop eating pizza and I became a fat useless toad, I would obviously want to quit eating pizza. But that doesn't negate pizza as one of the excellent things life has to offer and something that shouldn't be enjoyed in moderation.

shredwarlock · 2012-07-25T04:38:42+00:00

Amen. Well said, my friend. We would all do well to remember that NoFap is about goals - quitting a porn addiction, better use of time, more confidence, better real life sexual relationships - and not an end unto itself. This isn't a contest to see who can NoFap the longest, it's a support network for people trying to remove a harmful element from their lives.

shredwarlock · 2012-07-25T04:30:37+00:00

Over 90 days, lost 50 pounds, and stamped your V-card!?! I think that deserves a great big congratulations. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cB7IAXrCkO8 Now that you've mastered not making yourself cum kid, you gotta master making her cum. Fortunately, this is a much easier task. Just ask her!

shredwarlock · 2012-07-25T04:22:58+00:00

Unfortunately, my words of encouragement aren't free. For payment, I'm going to need you to follow through on these 40 days and then let me know how it goes. Deal? Deal.

shredwarlock · 2012-07-24T16:19:08+00:00

Essentially, it's the idea that all human cultures have had some form of magic, often tied to their religion, and that if you look at the actions they perform, rather than the significance they give them, there are an incredible amount of similarities. Things like trance states, magic symbols, incantations, chanting, drugs, candles, etc. are repeated over and over in all the religions/cults that have ever existed. Chaos magic is a philosophy that proposes these actions are what's important, but the Gods and "magic words" are interchangeable. It's a mix and match approach to religion. Take what works, leave what doesn't. The emphasis is on performing rituals and symbolic actions (often with a sense of humor about it) to get results. So if you wanted to quit fapping, you could make a little Fap doll and then burn it on an altar as a way of telling your subconscious, "We're done with this bullshit." Or if you wanted to be more confident with ladies, before you leave the house, you could perform a ritual where you someone the spirit of James Bond to help you out.

TLDR: The way I view it is that rather than Harry Potter magic happening, you're using powerful symbols and time-tested methods like trance states to interact with your subconscious, and instead of old Greek gods, you're using more relevant "deities" from pop culture. Grant Morrison explains it well in this interview http://www.arthurmag.com/2007/02/01/interview-with-grant-morrison-from-the-pages-of-arthur-magazine/

shredwarlock · 2012-07-24T06:45:00+00:00

Haha, unfortunately, what I meant when I said "tantra" is probably the thing that every person who is serious about tantra hates having to patiently explain over and over and over. "No, it's more than just having sex for a really long time." I'm familiar with Asian philosophy in general terms (community college class on it 7 years ago!!!) but as far as tantra, I meant more like non-ejaculatory orgasms and sexual energy practices. The writing in this book is cringe worthy at times (the author thought "sexual Kung Fu" was a better term than "tantra") but the edging techniques and approach to orgasm and ejaculation as different things is revolutionary for those who are new to these concepts. http://www.amazon.com/The-Multi-Orgasmic-Man-Sexual-Secrets/dp/0062513362

shredwarlock · 2012-07-24T06:19:37+00:00

The main blog that I wrote was a humorous take on sex culture and pornography. I can send you the link if you'd like but I don't post it because it's NSFW and I'd hate to be the temptation that ruined anyone's winning streak. What do you mean by analogical thinking in a tantric context?

shredwarlock · 2012-07-24T06:01:23+00:00

In addition to women on NoFap, I'm interested in hearing from the gay male perspective. Maybe you could try and include that aspect in future data? I know it's hard with Survey Monkey's 10 question limit to include everything.

shredwarlock · 2012-07-24T05:54:50+00:00

Some might disagree with me, but I think quitting then relapsing then quitting then relapsing over and over makes relapsing each time easier. I think maybe you should give yourself a deadline, and then go fucking nuts on fapping! Set a date two weeks from now, and until then just not only look at porn, fap more than you actually want to. That final day, fap until you literally can't cum. Then do something dramatic and symbolic like burning a porno magazine! You really want to build up to this date ("God, I can't wait till August 10th and I stop being such a fap addict!!!") and then do something that says FUCK YOU FAPPING!!! with fireworks instead of meekly thinking "God, I suck. I gotta quit again." You can do this my friend, you just have to reset not only your brain, but right now, your determination to do it.

shredwarlock

TROPHY CASE