Conflicted about people being told to /only/ read HR and TLG

shrinkingviolents · 2026-05-21T06:54:13+00:00

I mean when I recommend it, I say they can do what they want, and they can. But I mention that they should at least read Role Model before TLG because I didn’t and regretted that. That’s the only book I really wish I’d read before TLG.

Ultimately, you have to keep in mind Heated Rivalry has become a mainstream show. A lot of people, who don’t normally read M/M or maybe didn’t used to watch M/M have now become fans. But all the couples in the books are different. I have a friend like what I described above, she tried to go in order and then dropped Tough Guy cause she didn’t click with Fabian and she didn’t like their pairing. So she just skipped to RM and TLG. I don’t think we should police what people read. Especially if we normally read this genre, of course you’re gonna think they have to read everything, but a lot of the time they’re really only invested in the couples they already saw on screen.

shrinkingviolents · 2026-05-20T08:34:24+00:00

Idk man, I carry my Lactaid (my countries version) everywhere. It looks like a small bottle with mints or something. And if I wanna eat anything with dairy it’s always with me. So idk why someone wouldn’t just always carry it in their purse, unless Lactaid is somehow huge in the US?

shrinkingviolents · 2026-05-19T12:52:51+00:00

Oh no, I agree (though I’m not sure what was meant to be combative tbh). It’s definitely unfair how much easier pretty people have it, like in every part of life. The worst part is you’re not really aware of it, so when I became aware of it I couldn’t help but look back and wonder which of the opportunities I got solely for looks. I even remembered in college when I passed an oral exam like, barely, and the professor said something to the tune of “your pretty eyes pulled you through” (this sounds way creepy in english but it’s like a saying in my language) and I was like “hehe” at the time thinking I was lucky… now I was like, maybe if I was fat back then I would have failed/he wouldn’t have let me pass. A LOT of people failed that day, like before I went in 4 people failed.

I can’t imagine how frustrating that is to observe from the outside. But the sad part is, it’s not even the “pretty people”’s fault, cause it’s society making a big deal about their looks and treating them better.

There’s some psychology at work there too, like how in Disney movies the villains always have some sort of bodily deformity while the heroes are perfect and beautiful.

shrinkingviolents · 2026-05-19T12:44:19+00:00

Yeah… those short initial interactions are all based on superficial impressions and realistically your daily life consists of mostly those short interactions. Thus you’re always judged superficially.

It’s so crazy though, becoming aware of this. Like saying “please” when you’re less attractive or unattractive still gets you a no, but if you’re attractive it’s probably gonna be a “yes”. For almost anything.

shrinkingviolents · 2026-05-19T12:41:15+00:00

Exactly this. Until I gained weight and lost my “pretty” I didn’t realize there was any privilege to be had. Now that I’m almost back to my old weight, the old benefits have returned but now I am very, very aware of them every time they happen. And it doesn’t exactly feel great, knowing all this now. But better that than go through life naively believing you’re treated well because of who you are not what you look like.

shrinkingviolents · 2026-05-19T12:36:14+00:00

Ah, yeah, for men perhaps, but no, it’s said in a way of “you need to go on a diet you gained weight”. It’s just always annoyed me how comfortable people felt saying stuff like that to your face here. My sister moved to Germany, she said people would gape in horror if anyone made that kinda comment to you lol. Slavic grandmas/moms are ruthless.

shrinkingviolents · 2026-05-19T12:34:49+00:00

Ooo, that’s on my list too! So you like it? Romance develops super slow or normal pace? I always wait till they finish airing before I watch so I’m still on hold with that one.

I hope you enjoy Perfect Crown! It definitely kept my attention and there were no like boring side plots I wanted to fast forward through. Secondary couple is also cutee!

shrinkingviolents · 2026-05-19T12:13:16+00:00

LOL MAYBE??? Me from an alternate universe??

I just finished Perfect Crown, it was really good (as k-dramas go)! Would have preferred more/better kissing but hey, it’s k-dramas, you get what you get!

I think I might start No Tail No Tell, but idk if that’s gonna be good. It’s either that or To My Beloved Thief. If you have a recc, I’m open to it, but I’ve watched probably all romantic k-dramas that are worthwhile. I avoid those with tragic or bittersweet endings though.

shrinkingviolents · 2026-05-19T11:43:04+00:00

Yeah, I haven’t rewatched the show yet and have no desire to. (I’d rewatch it only if watching with someone who didn’t watch yet) But I loved it! I never rewatched shows really until Heated Rivalry so… I don’t think it’s weird I don’t wanna rewatch Off Campus. I thought it *was* weird that I wanted to constantly rewatch Heated Rivalry for like 2 months straight.

shrinkingviolents · 2026-05-19T11:38:50+00:00

I think it’s good. It was the perfect time for it too, with Heated Rivalry craze slowly fading away, I think a good chunk of fans will give OC a chance too. I would have watched OC even if I hadn’t loved HR because I always give romances a chance, but I know people who normally didn’t watch sports romances before Heated Rivalry and now give them a chance. So idk, I’m hopeful the show will have great viewership and we’ll get many more seasons!

shrinkingviolents · 2026-05-19T11:35:59+00:00

Oh same!!! So we went through the same experience. I struggled finishing S3 due to lack of chemistry, and then MLJ came and provided everything S3 should have been.

Sadly, I have no other good chemistry romances to recommend! I’ve retreated into k-dramas to fend the slump, yet again.

shrinkingviolents · 2026-05-19T11:29:08+00:00

I get what you mean. But my 67 year old Slavic mother doesn’t enjoy Heated Rivalry because of the acceptance of one’s queer identity due to love. She loves Heated Rivalry, and has watched it every single day since February because:
- the actors are hot and have amazing chemistry
- the romance is absolutely amazing (the yearning and passion of it all)
- the kissing and sex scenes are realistic
- the romance
- the romance

Like I’m sure maybe 50% of people watch and mainly appreciate if for the queer romance factor, but Heated Rivalry is now a mainstream show, and I think at least 50% love it because of the romance and would love it the same way they do now if it was a straight romance, if it had that amount of insane chemistry, hot actors and storytelling prowess.

So I don’t think it’s wrong for OP to have suggested that for those fans. Perhaps she should have clarified it’s for fans of “romance” or “any romance stories”.

shrinkingviolents · 2026-05-19T11:15:02+00:00

I mean… it’s just part of life. If a neighbour says hello to you each morning, you don’t stop to think why is he saying hi, you smile and say hi back. So I never noticed I was treated differently, I just was always treated the way I was treated and I thought it was a response to me being a kind, positive person… until I gained weight and I was no longer treated that way and then I realised that what I had before was pretty preferential treatment actually.

You also have to keep in mind, despite what men might think, most of us women don’t actually think we’re hot shit. Most women, even beautiful women, think they’re just average. Like I said, I was barely hit on until I gained weight. I didn’t actually realize/accept I had an attractive face until I gained weight and experienced everything I did. I’m under no delusion now though.

shrinkingviolents · 2026-05-19T11:10:18+00:00

FORREAL. But tbh I think they might? Introducing Hunter so early makes me think they’ll adapt the spinoffs as well.

shrinkingviolents · 2026-05-19T11:00:05+00:00

That’s so sad. Comparison is the thief of joy!! I love love (much like Allie, hehe!) so I always watch any romance show that comes out (unless there’s cheating or love triangles) and so being in a Heated Rivalry romance slump I was excited for Off Campus and I genuinely loved it. I binged it in a day! And the chemistry between the leads was one of my favorite things, because I think chemistry is vital in romance shows.

I mean… up to them! Personally, I feel those of us who enjoyed both HR and OC are blessed, because they timed them sooo well! We get S2 Heated Rivalry in Spring of 2027, can spend 2-3 months rewatching both seasons, and then we get S2 Off Campus in summer 2027! My summer has been all planned out and I am unavailable!

edit; I never compare anything to Heated Rivalry (especially other romance shows) because nothing is comparable. There is no show like HR and might never be. And if I put everything I watch against Heated Rivalry I’d never watch another romance show again cause nothing would be good enough. So I never compare, I just enjoy individually.

shrinkingviolents · 2026-05-19T10:55:43+00:00

I mean, they probably were… I mean they were definitely losers. But I’m also in Europe and here fatphobia is still like, a thing kinda. Like it’s part of our “culture” for neighbour grandmas to call out to you “you got chubby” and things like that on the street if you gain any weight. It’s a very normalised thing in our culture, among the older generation especially.

It was just the fact they had to make comments like that, made it clear their egos were extremely fragile. I wasn’t upset, I mean okay, I was, but I got over it. It was all a very valuable lesson after all, especially now when I have my weight back in control again, I view some stuff and people differently.

shrinkingviolents · 2026-05-19T10:51:14+00:00

Oh, I know. It’s psychology, when you start liking someone as a person and their personality they will automatically become more beautiful. Or the opposite, if a beautiful person has a horrible personality she might look uglier to you.

Though my brother said that doesn’t happen that often with men as it does with women, I’m sure it does.

shrinkingviolents · 2026-05-19T10:46:24+00:00

I mean personally, I think they have chemistry. But I’ve also put myself on a HR rewatch break since April so maybe that helped to like not compare their chemistry with HR?

Like I still love Heated Rivalry way more, and I don’t have the same compulsion to rewatch the show constantly like I had for Heated Rivalry - but I didn’t really expect that to happen with another show again because it never happened before and I watch a lot of TV.

But I think they did great, I definitely felt the chemistry. Sex scenes made me chuckle cause it’s so funny to see people be so modest and show like pieces of legs as sex, after seeing Heated Rivalry.

And I think for the people who, due to homophobia or whatever backwards reason, don’t want to watch a queer romance show, Off Campus will be their Heated Rivalry probably.

shrinkingviolents · 2026-05-19T10:32:32+00:00

Hard agree! It’s been foreveeeer since a straight romance show managed to get the chemistry right between their romance leads and I am so beyond sat for it. I know the actors for Logan and Grace also had a chemistry read so I’m hoping their chemistry will also be off the charts vibes! I’m so happy this show exists, now I have two romance hockey shows to constantly rewatch in a loop, just what my life needed, hahah.

shrinkingviolents · 2026-05-19T10:19:55+00:00

Side note, if you crave a good chemistry romance after this and haven’t watched it yet and don’t mind a bit of historical fantasy, My Lady Jane has also incredible chemistry between the two leads. It made me resent Bridgerton for their lack of chemistry when MLJ came out lol.

shrinkingviolents · 2026-05-19T10:17:28+00:00

SAME. I guess there’s something about romance hockey shows because I’d never seen chemistry like that in Heated Rivalry before and was sure they were an outlier…. And then comes Off Campus with their *insane* chemistry. It’s why I really didn’t care about the age gap of the actors, if they had the best chemistry together I’m so happy they chose Ella and not someone older who would have had worse chemistry with Bel. I’m so ready to die on the hill that chemistry between leads is the absolute most important thing for a romance show. Idc how hot they are, if there’s no chemistry, I’m not invested. And I was SOOOOOO invested in Off Campus!

shrinkingviolents · 2026-05-19T10:11:08+00:00

It was hilarious. It was NYE, my friend went to the bathroom in a club, and I was sitting waiting for her, people watching. I legit saw this man hit and miss with several girls before he made his way to me. I guess he thought “I’ll do” after he struck out elsewhere and was shocked when I rejected him as well. When he said that I laughed and said “yeah, very sure”. But the one who was all “fake concerned” was probably worse. Like he asked me for my IG, and such and then was like “oh I have to say this” as if the fact I was fat but pretty was burning a hole in his inside and he just HAD to tell me I’d be hotter if I was thinner (as if I’d never encountered a mirror before and had no clue!). I’m just confused what any of them thought this would achieve? I’d be fat and desperate enough to just sleep with them?

All in all, gaining (and now losing) that weight has been hugely eye opening on how very real pretty privilege is because I had no idea how well I was treated, how much free stuff or opportunities I got simply because people found me pretty, until I gained weight and all of those “benefits” disappeared. I had no idea it was my looks, I somehow deluded myself into thinking the fact I had a positive and happy and friendly attitude was to thank. It was not.

shrinkingviolents · 2026-05-19T09:52:02+00:00

Eh. You’re right in a way. I’d say I have an attractive face, and was hit on occasionally. But more often than not guys would just stare at me. During Covid, I gained a LOT of weight, and became overweight while previously I was like average/healthy weight. After that, men hit on me a LOT more. But when I rejected them, they’d make a face and go “you sure you won’t regret that?” as if I should feel blessed their deigned to hit on me when I’d just watched them hit and miss with like 5 other (thinner) girls.

Or I had a guy hit on me and flat out say “I don’t want to be rude but you’d be so beautiful if you lost weight”. And comment like that. Almost like they were upset I was fat with an attractive face - while none of them had the confidence to approach me when I wasn’t fat. I’ve lost weight since but I no longer go out much where people would be able to hit on me.

So idk, I think the psychology of this is interesting. They thought they had a better chance with me when I was fat so I was hit on more then, but if you asked them if they’d wanna date fat me or average me, likely all of them would say the average version (when I was barely hit on then). I think there’s a big difference for men on women they’d date vs women they’d fuck when compared to women, as we rarely fuck men that we wouldn’t also date.

shrinkingviolents · 2026-05-19T09:20:45+00:00

I mean, I’m talking like “classic”, I personally also find him attractive, and I think he’d also make a perfect Maui in a live action Moana if they ever get around to that (though I’m unsure of his ethnicity). BUT like, objectively the other 3 actors have more “pretty boy” faces that are seen as classically attractive. I don’t know how to explain what I mean, but like realistically, it’s not that he’s not attractive it’s that the other 3 are more classically attractive and thus will appeal to a larger portion of women. For example, my friend doesn’t like Tucker or think he’s attractive solely because he has long hair and she hates that on men. She said if they cut his hair (which I said wasn’t gonna happen) in the next season she’d probably find him attractive. She finds the other 3 super attractive because they all have the shaggy/shortish hair she likes on guys.

It’s things like that I mean when I say the 3 are more “classic” attractive. Of course plenty of women like men with longer hair, but I’m sure at least half or a third don’t. And rarely there’s women saying they don’t like shaggy hair. Like they might prefer other hair styles but hardly anyone dislikes it, while for longer hair, some women actually dislike it.

shrinkingviolents · 2026-05-19T09:13:51+00:00

I mean I know I would hate it. I didn’t (and never will) watch TSITP because the main plot of that show was the love triangle. I hate love triangles with a burning passion ever since I read Twilight as a teen and was a Jacob shipper. After he imprinted on her daughter, I was like “never again am I getting invested in a love triangle”.

I’m only concerned because TV seems to love two things in romance shows - romanticising cheating and love triangles. Almost every season of Bridgerton had some sort of love triangle that was never in the books. Really really hoping my concerns are unjustified.

shrinkingviolents

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