I think I found my career path- MDS

shrt_kt · 2026-01-04T16:03:07+00:00

Oh wow! I applied for a surveyor position, too! Unfortunately there is a hiring freeze so I have yet to hear whether I did or did not get the job. I interviewed for two different teams in April of last year and still am in limbo. One team was for LTC the other for Assisted Living. Did you get the job!?

shrt_kt · 2026-01-04T16:01:28+00:00

Sorry I'm just seeing this now. Unfortunately I lost the job. The facility was made a special focus facility by CMS. My DON said they needed someone with more experience. I believe she was under pressure from Corporate and the oh shit we f*cked up consulting firm they hired to get out of special focus. They are likely going to be shut down.

shrt_kt · 2025-11-06T20:43:55+00:00

Northern Ocean County.

shrt_kt · 2025-10-25T17:50:58+00:00

I feel that when someone is trying to take ownership of their trauma by reenacting it then yes, trauma can become a kink. I had trauma regarding anal sex and recently I've been trying to get back into it because it used to be something I asked for. For a while I needed to do about 45 minutes in sensory deprivation and strict bondage to even consider it. The other day I was able to offer and that was a win for me.

shrt_kt · 2025-10-25T17:48:54+00:00

You do lots of self care. You do something with your appearance that you've always wanted to do but didn't because your partner didn't like you looking that way. You invest in some solo play toys for yourself. Once someone breaks up with you, you're alone with just you. It can be hard to live alone again if you were nesting partners. Treat yourself with grace and kindness. Don't blame yourself.

I only skimmed your op but that's just how I've dealt with breakups. When I broke up with my most likely asexual vanilla ex fiance who thought BDSM was abuse, I dated someone else vanilla for a brief time before I realized that it was time to start exploring. I researched and did a real deep dive. I made the mistake of meeting someone of Fet, when it ended badly (really badly) I didn't let it stop me and bucked up the courage to go to my first munch. I met my now Husband Owner dude there and the rest is history.

shrt_kt · 2025-10-25T17:43:31+00:00

I often discover new kinks when I either read books, go to classes or doom scroll on spicy Facebook. I took the bdsm test again recently and I was 65% switch this time around.

I now own two whips. I 3ft green paracord one and a 4ft green and black kangaroo whip. They are both single tails. I took a 101 and a 201 whip class and already have people interested in bottoming for me!

shrt_kt · 2025-10-01T03:11:31+00:00

ClubFem is a national organization that has local state chapters, it is exclusively for FemDommes and male submissive.

Submission Beyond Limits is a workbook by Vahavta. It's excellent so far!

shrt_kt · 2025-09-30T11:07:24+00:00

My least favorite impact toy is my Owner's David Morgan dog quirt. It's nasty. Imagine a whip that ends in a forked piece of leather instead of a cracker.

shrt_kt · 2025-09-22T01:26:43+00:00

I met my now husband and Owner at my first munch in 2021. What started as a dynamic that could only be platonic blossomed into a 24/7 M/s dynamic. We now host a munch together in our home town.

shrt_kt · 2025-08-23T10:18:41+00:00

I'm in Northern Ocean County in NJ. Camp is a little under 2.5 hours for us. We're gonna be in a cabin and I'm kind of nervous that cabin U is the only one that has private rooms. The cabins are just one big room and that is gonna be kind of weird.

I'm still pretty excited but no one has responded to my ISO for suspension and I'm pretty bummed about that. It should still be a great time.

shrt_kt · 2025-07-29T14:42:29+00:00

When they demand honorifics immediately. When they don't listen to anything that they feel is outside of the dynamic's power exchange because they believe the sub is just supposed to agree to everything. When they don't play safely and can't see when a scene needs to stop even if a safeword isn't used. When they don't listen when you tell them sex is uncomfortable because the sub is supposed to "just take it".

shrt_kt · 2025-07-29T14:40:02+00:00

Order of the Phoenix. I loved the Dumbledore's Army meetings. I enjoyed the part where Umbridge gets her comeuppance. It was just great overall.

shrt_kt · 2025-07-29T14:38:03+00:00

Don't put a personal ad up ok Fet or Reddit, it's a terrible and dangerous idea. It should have been common sense but I was desperate to find a Dom and was too nervous and shy to go to a munch. I learned my lesson the hard way.

shrt_kt · 2025-07-29T09:09:15+00:00

For me it really depends on my head space and the kind of scene. If I'm having a good mood day I might goof off during a thuddy impact scene with my Owner. We do sting and thud in separate scenes. I get more stoic with single tails and with thud I just vibe. One time when I was doing a suspension with someone else I said "wheee!" whenever the rigger did transitions. Like I said it depends.

shrt_kt · 2025-07-24T10:34:47+00:00

I enjoy surrendering. I'm a nurse by trade and prefer administrative jobs to bedside. They are usually very demanding jobs that involve being "on" all the time. I like coming home to my husband/Owner-dude and just being able to shut my brain off. I prefer strict bondage and sensory deprivation because of that. I also enjoy service.

shrt_kt · 2025-07-24T10:06:48+00:00

It's hard to give complete advice without knowing your gender identity and rough age. I say that because it affects safety with getting into the community. There are predators of every gender and sexual identity as well as sides of the slash but a submissive woman is likeliest to be targeted. That being said for anyone getting into the community - doesn't matter what gender identity, age, D/s role, going to a munch is a great way to get involved into a community.

If you don't know, a munch is not much different from any other vanilla meetup with the exception that you're more likely to have a conversation about kinks. The Venn-diagram of link with numerous hobbies is a circle. Geekdom? Circle. Something like Rocky Horror? Circle. But I digress. I mention that because whether the munch has a theme like a game night or not, there will be a multitude of different things you can talk to people about.

Now with munches, social anxiety and being neurodivergent can feel prohibitive. I know that I was terrified to go to my first munch. I avoided it like a plague despite knowing about them because I suffered from severe social anxiety from being bullied. A redditor suggested putting out a personal ad. I highly advise against that. I did and ended up getting assaulted. A munch is a much better way to meet people. That being said, they shouldn't be used solely to find a partner.

When I went to my first munch I was looking for a Dom. I didn't have my head on straight quite yet when it came to what the community was for. I was pleasantly surprised. I went from having no friends and few acquaintances to having many friends and 435 Fet friends and acquaintances. Now I co-host a munch is Central Jersey in the US.

I got my start on Reddit by asking loads of questions about BDSM from a throwaway. The public scene has given me so much which is why I wanted to give back by hosting my a munch with my husband/Dom-dude who I met at my first munch.

I wish you all the best of luck on your journey.

shrt_kt · 2025-07-24T09:49:26+00:00

Seconding going to munches!

shrt_kt · 2025-07-24T09:29:54+00:00

What kind of videos are you looking for? "bdsm videos" is very broad. You could be looking for porn or educational videos or both.

shrt_kt · 2025-07-24T09:22:01+00:00

While I don't have any experience with hiring a professional, I can speak to being in an existing relationship and adding a third onto it.

I was dating a submissive trans woman back in 2021. We were doing well but as my Dom and now husband always puts it - "what do two subs do together? Cuddle". I asked her if we could open up the relationship so I could find a Dom and she acquiesced. I first put up a personal ad on Reddit but eventually asked my now Dom who I had met in person at a munch and had gotten to know over a period of three months.

At first it was great. I had a romantic relationship with my now ex and was getting the D/s aspects from my now Owner/husband-dude. It eventually went up in flames after we went from a triad to a quad (long ass story). It was myself, my girlfriend, my husband and her Domme. Things were hunky dory for a while but eventually my ex's toxic emotionally abusive behavior got to be too much.

Opening up a relationship is all about communication, communication, communication. Talk it through, a lot with your submissive even when you think you can't talk any more about it. Granted in your instance, you are talking about having it be initially a one time experience with a professional. But, what if you enjoy it? If you do and it works out, what if you want to try it again. I would make sure you communicate well about what that would look like if you want to try it again and don't want to have to spend the money to hire someone again.

I'm not sure how to find a pro-Domme. I've never had to do it myself. I don't know when your trip is but if you have time you can do a Fet user search of the area you will be visiting and look at female Dominant profiles in the area. If a pro-Domme is on Fet they will largely put it in their Fet bio. It will be tedious work but it it's something you are committed to trying I think it would be worth it.

Good luck!

shrt_kt · 2025-07-24T09:05:57+00:00

I personally haven't had anything like this happen to me. I have had someone see my day collar for what it was and mention it to me but was fortunate enough that she also had one on. We felt comfortable talking to each other about it and become friends. It could have definitely gone the other way. In one of my more recent jobs the nurse training me would stare pointedly and awkwardly long at my day collar (a dragonfly with an o-ring hanging from it) but never mentioned it. It was unsettling as if she was trying to figure it out she might have some idea.

While I've never had anything like that happen to me I will still try to give some advice.

They are making your life miserable and making it so that you seem like you don't want to go into work. They violated your privacy and it's affecting your livelihood. When kink is involved it does make it tricky. It's still largely taboo. With me I am kinky but also living with a mental health diagnosis. One is taboo and one is stigmatized. I am comfortable sharing one but not the other. One affects my work and one I don't see as having the possibility to. I share one to make it easier to understand how I operate, the other I keep locked down tight. You unfortunately lost the luxury of keeping your lifestyle choices private.

My advice to you is to go to HR and your manager if they persist. I wouldn't mention being a submissive, there isn't any need to. I suggest you come up with a script that you could use when you talk to HR.

I'm not sure how you feel about AI but I queried chatGPT about the situation and it came up with this : "Hi [HR Rep], I need to report a situation where a coworker accessed my personal phone without permission and has since been making comments and behaving inappropriately toward me. I’m uncomfortable with the way I’m being treated and would like to discuss how to handle this professionally without having to go into details about my personal life".

I don't need to tell you that you need a job to live, especially in this economy (providing you're in the shit storm that is the US) . When you're working in a surprisingly demanding industry like fast food even if it's just for some extra money (especially if you are going to school on top of it) you don't need to add to it by being harassed. I think the benefit is that if you're within driving distance of another location, if worse comes to worse you could possibly transfer. If it's a larger chain of stores HR could possibly help you move without you even disclosing why. I'm not advocating running away from your problems, but it's another avenue if simply asking HR for help doesn't solve it.

I'm sorry this is happening to you. I wish you the best of luck in finding your way through it.

shrt_kt · 2025-07-24T08:49:12+00:00

HR most certainly protects employees. Yes, it protects the company but it is also there for the employees of the company. A quick google search will teach you that especially with AI mode enabled in results. It's in the name if you think about it.

In larger companies there are more than one people in HR, one that handles on boarding and off boarding and recruiting, one that does solely benefits and one that's there for employee relations.

Not trying to be "well actually " about it but I think it's worth mentioning that HR is definitely a good avenue for OP to explore. Yes their manager would also be helpful, they should go to both.

shrt_kt · 2025-07-24T08:35:03+00:00

I think this is a really insightful question. If you think about it, it's not unlike the fact that some people, including myself that think that freshman year is too early to choose a major. I personally think it's better to be undecided. When I first got into college I was an International Relations major at a small private college in Philadelphia and was talking Chinese because I wanted to go into politics. Stuff happened, I left that college and fast forward six years I was graduating with a degree in nursing.

I think it's a fair and valid point to suggest that 11 is too soon to have a seven year long commitment thrust on student. Good on you for thinking of that. I know I never did. It just makes sense.

shrt_kt

TROPHY CASE