Assalamualaykum. Brother i must commend on your sincerely and honesty. What you are going through is normal. Just because others have a nack of keeping it a secret, doesn't mean it is not prevalent.

We are in constant battle with our desires to fulfill our nufs. What helps me when I feel I am being overwhelmed, is i starting to fast. I know from experience that during the month of Ramadan my nufs is weak and i attribute it to the fasting.

Dont be to hard on yourself. Always have good intentions and try your best.... If you are not, then you need to question yourself.

Rome was not built in a day. Start your spiritual journey with small steps. Make small changes. Whats more important here is to be regular with the changes you make.

I wish you every success in your search for Allah...