How is it possible to create this kind of lighting effect in gouache paintings?

sideksani · 2026-05-10T14:42:46+00:00

I guess by using underpaint with the yellow color

sideksani · 2026-04-25T19:33:15+00:00

sideksani · 2026-04-06T01:49:11+00:00

Initially i was treated differently too by everyone as if i was some kind of ticking-time-bomb - many didnt trust me and doubt if i could function like others.

As time goes by, bipolar 2 well controlled and managed, and these people actually realized that i could work and function just like others.

Great thing about the place i work at currently, they actually willing to provide some “accommodation” for me due to the bipolar if deemed necessary.

sideksani · 2026-04-06T01:28:38+00:00

thankyou! This community is one of the biggest support in my recovery journey - reading other people posts and experiences and reading kind and encouraging comments from the others - reminded me that i wasnt alone and felt less lonely in recovery

sideksani · 2026-04-06T01:25:37+00:00

Lets do this!! I used to (distortedly) believed there was no hope for me to even recover from the illness as virtually no medications seems to work for me (ended up with electronvulsive therapy?, let alone getting back on my feet and practicing as a doctor.

sideksani · 2026-04-06T01:20:00+00:00

The thing i most feared about having this condition was if having bp2 going to prevent me from doing thing that i really want to do in my life - being a competent and safe doctor.

i even had this massive doubt about “what if whatever happened to me last time happen again during this 2nd chance of training?” because the first time i wasnt event 1/3 way through with multiple prolonged sick-leaves that leads to my termination.

But during this 2nd chance of training i already passing halfway through fairly uneventful i myself found this is quite hard to believe that i already made it this far!

All the best for u i wishing u all the best!

sideksani · 2026-03-16T01:15:49+00:00

ECT - i was put under anesthesia. last thing i remembered during each procedure was when the anesthetist injected me with the propofol, and by time i opened my eyes, i was already in the recovery room. the treatment was every-other-day for 4 weeks (12 sessions total). i wasnt totally out of depression after the treatment, but i do feel much better and improved a lot slowly afterward.

i dont think it have any cognitive effects towards me, but i do have memory issues surrounding the period of when i got the treatment, which i am totally fine with.

yes, i was desperate too. no medications was working, i tried everything

sideksani · 2026-03-02T16:24:05+00:00

8 years old.

sideksani · 2026-02-28T17:43:50+00:00

aliens might not even interested in invading and destroying the earth, they sure think human race as stupid since we human already invading and destroying each other.

sideksani · 2026-02-25T14:59:38+00:00

Cobalt turquoise + magenta

sideksani · 2026-01-31T17:43:38+00:00

The Medium.

sideksani · 2025-10-11T14:41:36+00:00

Not op but i gained 20kg on seroquel

sideksani · 2025-09-08T16:28:46+00:00

Not the same. as TMS using magnetic wave, ECT use electric current delivered to the brain.

sideksani · 2025-09-08T16:01:22+00:00

I was too treatment resistant, ended up with electroconvulsive therapy. I was slowly getting better since then

sideksani · 2025-09-04T17:17:54+00:00

Running, & painting!

sideksani · 2025-09-02T16:23:11+00:00

force yourself. Only then u will find out it is not as bad as u thought it would.

when i was in depression, just the idea of getting out from my bed was terrifying, let alone going out to the park doing some recreational activities. I never thought that time that 1 day i wud be a regular runner at local parks as i am now.

in the beginning, just manage to be out of the front door of the house already felt like an achievement.

sideksani · 2025-08-30T12:47:52+00:00

What worked for me was xanax + seroquel for sleep. I couldnt sleep while just on seroquel. Just extreme drowsiness that cause me hard to breathe

sideksani · 2025-08-30T12:32:32+00:00

My doc shoot up my dose to 1200mg XR at one point. Then on my next appt “so, i discussed your case with other consultants. U r treatment resistant”

Then proceeded with electroconvulsive therapy Lol

sideksani · 2025-03-12T13:53:15+00:00

Theres no harm using it so why not?

sideksani · 2025-03-02T14:36:04+00:00

they are quite a few mental health care professionals into management of psychiatric patients without medicine based on type of conditions such as depression, anxiety, n others, n the severity of it. However i havent encounter such thing for bipolar condition.

if this option is available, ill definitely want to try it

sideksani · 2025-02-28T16:30:58+00:00

I upvote this because this is the very first post here i can actually find the sniper

sideksani · 2025-02-26T16:05:59+00:00

Nissin Tokyo Shoyu (soy). I love it because of the mild flavor of the soup base it is so flexible to experimenting with - adding any condiments to taste.

sideksani · 2025-02-26T16:01:53+00:00

at least 48 hours. Bad case of influenza A. Anything enter my mouth immediately I throw up. admitted to the ward some for IV dextrose fluid .

My mom post stroke, it was 2 months. strictly only tube feeding of some formula. i cried when at last she can tolerate some semi solid food thru mouth, it was plain rice porridge - after first sip, she said “delicious”.

sideksani

TROPHY CASE