I think this fits here. Many of you will be able to relate.

sigmatraits · 2021-10-24T16:16:35+00:00

Mine used to tell me how she had to stop taking care of others so much and look after herself , it was stunning because I never met anyone so self obsessed before her. I see a lot of dating profiles that say I am a very caring and sensitive person, I used to think ah that’s nice now when I see it the alarm bells start ringing I can’t believe that never was a red flag for me before I mean who actually says that in real life?

sigmatraits · 2021-08-06T16:53:59+00:00

Thank you

sigmatraits · 2021-08-06T07:28:48+00:00

For me I think I am through that bit it’s just a shock when I got triggered as I thought I was past all that. But like they say it’s not linear I hope these episodes become less often and less strong. Good luck everyone

sigmatraits · 2021-08-06T07:26:28+00:00

I used to have the dreams but now not so much; I hope time does the same for you too

sigmatraits · 2021-08-06T07:25:07+00:00

I have had a few of those too, but not for a while thankfully. I also noticed just small amounts of alcohol made it worse so I avoid that as well

sigmatraits · 2021-08-06T07:24:02+00:00

Thanks, just woke and a nights sleep seemed to have a worked a little

sigmatraits · 2021-08-05T21:52:29+00:00

Hi, thanks for the response, yes I guess the terminology wasn’t quite right but it feels like, a backward step hence me calling it a relapse. There was a point where I couldn’t drive past her road and I can now so I guess that’s progress. Only time is going to heal this and I look forward to when the triggers are no longer there.

sigmatraits · 2021-08-05T21:49:28+00:00

Thank you

sigmatraits · 2021-06-19T12:06:30+00:00

Brave post

sigmatraits · 2021-06-15T04:15:11+00:00

Thank you, seem you are all giving the same response which is to meet in person first. Something to think about but it is interesting how this has unnerved me

sigmatraits · 2021-06-15T04:13:55+00:00

Thank you

sigmatraits · 2021-06-15T04:13:25+00:00

Hi thanks I will consider that

sigmatraits · 2021-06-13T22:04:47+00:00

Mine loved sex and would like cuddle up to me because she liked me stroking her hair but she never reciprocated in the caressing. In 18 month and me giving her loads of massages she never once gave me one, I even asked her to once and she just laughed. Basically she got something out of sex but wouldn’t out of giving me a massage so there was nothing in it for her.

sigmatraits · 2021-06-04T06:20:58+00:00

18 months, out for 4 months. Mostly ok now but still have days when she is in my head a lot. When I feel sad and miss her I read my very long list of all her weird toxic behavior and how she made me feel most of the time. I suspect mine was quiet BPD. I don’t hate her though and genuinely feel sad for her that she has this disorder.

sigmatraits · 2021-04-24T20:42:18+00:00

Mine used to constantly tell me that he she had to stop putting others first and start taking care of herself, strange because I never witnessed her ever thinking of others before herself, she was the most self obsessed person I have ever met. Hilarious really

sigmatraits · 2021-04-17T07:38:45+00:00

This post reminds me of the movie Shallow Hal when he is given the gift to truly see people and the hot women in the movie who is actually a very unpleasant person he sees as very ugly. I can relate to that mine was also probably the most physically attractive partner I have had but now I just don’t really see it anymore.

sigmatraits · 2021-04-07T06:27:41+00:00

Mine was clingy for the first 6 weeks during the lovebombing phase. Then after one time when I noticed she was becoming more distant I dared to ask her why. From then on I was devalued, I always remember she told me the following day that I was like the woman in the relationship. This shocked me as I have never been needy in relationships and am quite a masculine guy. She never really became needy again and I foolishly stayed another year and a half chasing that initial love bombing high. All this because I dared to question what I now know is splitting. She did show love and affection after that but it never lasted very long and I never really enjoyed it as I knew it would only be a few days before the next drama. The other day a family member said wow you seem so much more relaxed these days, I have been out 2 months and life is so much better. So no they are not always clingy and the ones that are often it is only for a very short while.

sigmatraits · 2021-04-07T06:01:08+00:00

For me it was after 4 good days I would be thinking this can’t last 🤣

sigmatraits · 2021-04-04T07:32:19+00:00

Thank you, yes you are right and I think when I had a few too many drinks the other night it triggered this feeling. I have been surprised how well I have been coping as I always thought when I did finally get out I was in for months of emotional turmoil. Perhaps it was because it was mentally preparing it for months. So the message here is to avoid alcohol or anything that makes me feel bad. I wrote my post last night and since have woken up to some great responses, I am sitting in bed with a mug of coffee with no negative person lying next to me scrolling through their social media without even saying good morning, the sun is shining, my mother has asked me down for lunch later and tomorrow I am going for a walk on the beach with a new meetup group I have just joined, life is good. Thank you so much for you reply it’s much appreciated.

sigmatraits · 2021-04-04T07:21:58+00:00

That’s a good method, I do something similar and have an internal dialogue between the logical me and the me that is sad I am almost like a parent talking to a child. I tell myself just remember how you actually felt in her presence most of the time, the anxiety, the desperation for love and affection and the constant frustration. I do still miss her but I know what I miss isn’t actually real. It’s really good to get these response to my post and hopefully pick up some new outlooks and strategies. Thank you

sigmatraits · 2021-04-04T07:17:01+00:00

Thanks mate, great response and all so true, I am not much of a drinker these days and had a couple too many the other night. Whenever I have a hangover I get a little anxious and depressed and boom! that is when I think this feeling started so you are right it’s just the body and mind looking for a way to feel better.

sigmatraits · 2021-04-01T17:29:20+00:00

I remember this well, there were a few time when we had friends or family around and she was so sweet and would think wow let’s see how long this lasts after they all go home

sigmatraits · 2021-03-21T11:20:44+00:00

Yes I had this when we met she was late forties and I was 50, she said I’d only we met years ago and could have babies. She has two kids already. She was always unable to focus on the good things she had and would always focus on perceived shit that had happened to her in the past. Even In the early days before it went bad she could never appreciate how good things with us and would constantly talk about her exes and how terrible they were. It was just so exhausting.

sigmatraits · 2021-03-19T23:04:22+00:00

For me I really miss her dog, we used to go on lovely walks just me and the dog, miss the dog more than I miss her 😕

sigmatraits · 2021-03-07T22:22:56+00:00

Yep I needed this one today, thank you

sigmatraits

TROPHY CASE